In the interest of gender equality I post the following for the men:
=[ The Way to a Woman's Heart ]=-
I write the following fully knowing my POV is filtered through the lens of what it is to be a man in this society. I write from my own experience (or lack thereof). I will admit to the possibility that I may not know what the fuck I may be talking about. On the other hand, however, I submit that some here will find a measure of truth.
Simply put, a woman's heart and genitals are usually deeply connected. When a woman's heart is truly open to you, so are her genitals (or "coochie," as a friend calls it), and when she opens herself sexually to you, she also opens herself emotionally. For most women, emotional, sexual, and spiritual openness are all part of the same ritual of trust, openness, and love. In fact, for many women, their deepest sexual experiences are their deepest spiritual experiences.
This is why sex for sport, or sex with random strangers, is not a big attraction for women. Doubt me? Well, how many women are lining up in front of glory holes (note: if you don't know what a glory hole is, you shouldn't be reading my blog! *grin*). A man will stick his cock through a hole in the wall, and he would care less who's on the other side -- he will find release. Remember, men seek release, women seek fulfillment.
Most women open emotionally during good sex. My experience has been that women don't just want to open up like that to anyone. This is why a woman tends to fall in love with whoever she has profound sex with: her heart opens along with her vagina and she feels love for the man with which she has had great sex.
As a woman learns to surrender sexually, her emotions open and she feels the undercurrent of love -- yours and hers. No matter what you say you're feeling on the surface, deep down you want to give and receive total love, and guess what -- so does she. Shit, she can feel your heart buried deep beneath the anger and shame. She can feel her own heart deep underneath her own resistance and hurt.
Want her completely? Then practice surrendering with her until you both develop that capacity of surrendering as love. Practice surrendering until you both learn to magnify that love even in the entanglement of the everyday dust of life: the boredom, pain, and superficial emotions that distract us from genuine presence.
To help her do this, remember her vagina and her heart are directly connected: treat her vagina as you would her heart... and vice versa.