Friday, January 23, 2015

The Friday Sex Blog [Divine Fire and Anal Sex Play for Men]

Hola Everybody...
The Friday Sex Blog is an attempt at mature (and sometimes not so mature) talk about sex mostly from my perspective as a hetero Latino male. I have always tried to be inclusive or pluralistic in my presentations. IOW, I have tried to include the cultural and social perspectives of others, as best I could. However, as with all human beings, my perspective is limited.

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Semen Retention

Okay! Before I go into the meat (pun unintended) of today’s post, I would like to mention an interesting observation. In ancient China, emperors often called on sages, mostly Taoist sages, for sexual advice. However, before accepting any advice, the sage had to go through a test. The emperor required any prospective master to prove his sexual control. He did this by offering the would-be advisor a full glass of wine and demanding the sage insert his penis into it. If he was truly a master, the story goes, he could absorb the wine into his penis and then release it back into the wine glass. This was taken as absolute proof that the sage could absorb a woman’s yin essence and therefore know the secret to immortality.

Don’t laugh: the practice of absorbing fluid into the penis is quite real, and can still be witnessed on the streets of India today. One yogi in Bombay actually sucks up oil into his penis in private and then publicly lights it on fire as he urinates it out! He claims it as divine fire. Imagine that ladies! LMAOOO! Over the past two years, I’ve been engaged in the process of learning this technique, so I might just light your ass on fire if you request it… 


This yogic suction technique is one that many people confuse with the true practice of semen retention. I will write more about from the perspective of my experiences. Eventually, imma need a partner.
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Anal Play for Men

Before reading on, please take a look at the following short skit. It’s from a show I really enjoyed, “Lucky Louie,” on HBO:

LMAOOO! Too funny! I love it!

As a rule, men are extremely anxious about anything going near their anus because stereotypes dictate that any man that admits to liking his anus stimulated is a “faggot.” The fact is that a sexual act does not constitute ones sexual orientation. In fact, one study I read stated that not all gay couples engage in anal sex. In any case, enjoying a certain sex act does not make you gay. That’s just ignorant, close-minded thinking. Actually, homophobia has been interpreted to be a form of homoerotic wish fulfillment. That’s right, homophobic men (as quantified by psychological measures) were the ones most turned on by gay porn. These are the guys who like to make jokes about “taking it up the ass” and questioning the masculinity of other men.

This is why I laughed when “e-thugs” with fake-ass names used to come to my blogs and post responses detailing their elaborate fantasies about me being raped in prison… In any case, as in most things sexual, likes and dislikes are culturally conditioned. If you were raised in a society were “real men” took it up the ass, men would be taking it up the ass and bragging about it, so stop your bullshit now. Shit, there would probably be a Super Bowl about it. LOL You doubt me? Well, apply some logic to this issue. If you’re inflexible in this cultural context, then you would most likely be as inflexible in another cultural context.

There’s a biological premise for pleasurable anal play. There are two pleasurable spots in and around a man’s anus. The first location is the anus itself: it is very sensitive, surrounded by a dense mass of nerve bundles. The second is the prostate gland, located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

As I mentioned earlier, some men are not very open to experimentation around this area, as enjoying it may make them question their masculinity. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today’s society. In any case, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area gently with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him a tremendously intense orgasm. Most men are unaware of the intense orgasms experienced via this technique and many who do, often like it though they loathe admitting it.

As with all anal play, cleanliness is essential. A bath or a shower is a great way to start things off, setting the tone for the festivities. If your man is an anal virgin, you can celebrate his deflowering by making it a “special” occasion. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times. Lubrication is extremely important and you can never use too much. Also, be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin and can be easily torn by sharp objects. 

Once you get him lubricated, you want to start by taking it easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will instinctually tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and gradually move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: gentle twisting, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.

Analingus, licking the anal area (known colloquially as “tossing salad”), is another form of anal play. Perhaps this would be a better introduction into playing with your man’s anus. Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different than licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in, build up to it, and allow your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio (aka smoking that cock). This area is very sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate. 

Access to his anus is a little more problematic than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal: lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his ass up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.

Finally, there’s anal intercourse. Now, anal sex is quite a different ball of wax than using your finger. Oh boy! Man gotta really trust you for this one. Imagine if you separate and you blast it on Facebook or some other social media that he let you ream his asshole?!! LOL! Seriously, even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are copious amounts of lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach. Yeah, seduce the motherfucker.

Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time. 

There are women who enjoy anal play and some use butt plugs. A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs convey, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus. 

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long. Beads are also some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into and introduce anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which point the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is almost too intense to handle. It is suggested starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced. 

Again, like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

So there you go. Now go out there, girls, and ride your men good and hard!

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

PS: SEX -- even anal sex -- is good for you!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Sunday Sermon [Living Time]

Hola Everybody…
So yeah, I’m trying to get it up for blogging again… I haven’t written anything new, but I am rewriting, which is what writing is all about anyway… BTW, I hate it when I get all preachy like this… LOL
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Living Time
The book of love has music in it... in fact, that’s where music comes from.
Peter Gabriel, The Book of Love

I could very easily fall into a deep depression if I chose to look at life from a certain perspective. Like most, I have problems, experience frustrations, and perhaps like many others, anxious desperation. I think we all experience these emotions -- it’s part of the “full catastrophe” that Zorba the Greek spoke of... 

On the other hand, rather than choosing to feel like a small boat in the midst of a perfect storm, I can choose to identify with the ocean itself. In that way, the waves are not as threatening, life isn’t so damned serious. 

It’s just a wave; I ride it, feel it, accept it, and let it go. Or maybe I can choose to be that wave.

When I am experiencing what see as emotional turmoil, I have tried to develop the habit of stepping back and noting my gratitude. You can’t be grateful and miserable at the same time. Life is hard and to live is to know suffering, but it’s not enough to suffer or just note how much “life sucks.” Aren’t we a little too old to cling to such delinquent notions? You have to be a bit narcissistic to be out on Broadway like that. Life is also about smelling the flowers and about loving. And you know what? Suffering is optional. Get the fuck outta my face with that pathetic bullshit “life sucks” routine, it’s embarrassing.

And if the shit really hits the fan and I’m all fucked up (tragedy!), I simply remind myself that, no matter where myself today, it’s infinitely better than when I was stuck on stupid (aka as “life sucks”) mode. For example, today I woke up and I wasn’t addicted to anything; I woke up in my own bed fully conscious of who and where I was. That wasn’t always the case. In addition, I woke up today a relatively free man. That too wasn’t always the case. Some of my saddest Christmases were spent in prisons -- once in solitary confinement.

One of the things I am most proud of is that throughout all of my incarceration, I got into only 2-3 fights. That’s a huge thing. Prison isn't Oprah Winfrey or getting in touch with your inner child and violence is always seething under the surface. One time, out of fear, I had to put someone in the hospital and as a result, I ended up doing a week in solitary confinement. You know what I did there? I meditated. That cell became my sanctuary. And since most of you most likely have never experienced the torture and abuse of such a situation, let me tell you: solitary changes you at a molecular level. LOL So, if I could find some measure of serenity in that extreme situation, please forgive me for not feeling entirely empathetic for your “life sucks” routine.

::blank stare::

I know, I know  -- you’re probably saying those are low standards, and that you’ve never been addicted nor have you ever been incarcerated, so your frame of reference is different from mine. You are not like me! Let’s not take this relativity bullshit too far, people. With good reason, I happen to think many of you are hopelessly addicted and are prisoners of your minds.

I learned the art of liberation while incarcerated, one of the many paradoxes of this Redemption Song I call my life. I learned that prison is a state of mind, not an actual place. Yes, the state can force you to be in a physical prison but only you can give anyone permission to imprison your mind. Please take note of that because you all freely give that permission on a daily basis. I can guarantee you that much.

There’s a well-known lesson in prisons. It goes something like this: you can do the time, or let the time do you. It’s a reference to the fact that, while the reality is that you’re in prison, you can still actualize yourself or evolve as a human being. I wonder how many so-called free people are allowing the time to do them. In fact, I will do away with the whole paradigm and simply say that some of us are doing time, while others are living it. Living time… what a helluva concept.

As you bemoan your fate today because you don’t have this or that, or because you live in circumstances apart from your wishes, or your parents were fucked up, or any other complaint you might have, please know that that time could have been better spent living. Don’t worry, there’s another moment coming right now and you can either celebrate it, or choose to stay in your internal lock up. Which one is it? Keep in mind the next moment isn’t guaranteed. Will you do time, or will you live time?

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…


[un]Common Sense