Happy Birthday to Me!

¡Hola! Everybody…
Well, it’s my birthday today and I’m spending it in a low-key way this year. First, I’ll attend an outdoor event with a “friend” and then it will be dinner… anyway! Thanks to everyone who called, texted, emails, PM’ed or other wise made an effort to wish me a happy birthday. Your considerations are very much appreciated.

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-=[ A Birthday Wish ]=-

Okay. One day, I’m sitting down reading a good book, minding my own business when I gradually become aware of sucking and slobbering noises and when I look, it’s my sister’s dog steady licking his dick. I mean, he was sucking that shit! He’s so into it, that the sounds he’s making are distracting, so I yell at the fuckin mutt, “Sly! Stop that you nasty muthafucka!”

The dog looked at me with such a face of poor disgust that I had to laugh. Of course, he went right back to slobbering on his fuckin dick.

And that got me to thinking… Ladies? If I could suck my own dick, I would have nothing to say any of you. And please. No practicing without a license, no fuckin amateur analyzing. Sucking my own dick has nothing to do with homoerotic wish fulfillment. It’s sucking my own dick, not Joe Knechbone’s. Sucking my own dick would be monosexual, or autoeroticism, or some shit like that. I guess.

Whatever!

If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn’t even leave my apartment. I would give you ladies no convo. And if I did, I would be vindictive and fucked up about being able to suck my own dick. If you gave me too much lip, or too much of a hard time, for example, I would suck my own dick right in front of you just to show that I don’t need you to suck my dick. Like, it would be my way to show you you’re obsolete.

LMAOOOO!

Go ahead, argue with me, put the poosie on lockdown, make my day...

Anyway, that’s my birthday wish this year!

Love,

Eddie