Friday, July 2, 2010

The Friday Sex Blog [Dick Kung Fu, pt. I]

¡Hola! Everybody...
I have a hypothesis. It’s a hypothesis that has yet to be disproved in all these years. Simply put, the hypothesis holds that a woman’s nipples point in the same direction that her nose points.

To further illustrate: if a woman has an upturned nose, her nipples point up. Now please note I’m not referring to sagging or drooping breasts. Nipples normally maintain their orientation even after the effects of gravity has taken their toll, and pert breasts have nipples that orient down. I know this because I have seen examples of this. *grin*

So, using my theory, we can go down my friends’ list and speculate about nipple orientation. ______, for example, most likely has nipples that point slightly upwards, or straight out (as if they were accusing me of some crime or lustful desire).

That’s my hypothesis, and I have yet to meet a woman who has disproved it. Go ahead, look (I know you’re dying to. LMAO!) Now, there are several implications stemming from this hypothesis the most problematic being that a perve like me knows which way your nipples point. That’s fucked up!

BTW, if you disagree with my hypothesis, please feel free to submit relevant documentation (i.e., photos) to yours truly for inspection.

* * *

-=[ Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, pt. I ]=-


You know? Sometimes guys get together and spend their time talking about strengthening their biceps and quads and other muscles to look sexy (“curls for the girls”). I find such conversations beyond boring and usually this is the point in time that I take out my cock, soak up a glass of oil, and then light it up when I expel it through my urethra. LOL!

I’m kidding, of course (I soak up water), but there is one unseen muscle far more important when it comes to matters sexual. This “sex muscle” is actually called the pubococcygeus, or PC, muscle. This group of muscles running from your pubic bone (“pubo”) in the front of your body to the tailbone, or coccyx (“coccygeus”), in the back are essential for optimal sexual health.

In fact, two or three inches of your penis are rooted in this PC muscle, and strengthening it leads to harder erections, more intense, multiple, and more enjoyable orgasms, and better control of your ejaculations. This last benefit is why the PC muscle is essential to becoming a multi-orgasmic man. Yes, fellas, you too can be multi-orgasmic, why let only the ladies have all the fun, huh? Simply put, you can use the PC muscle to put the brakes when you feel you’re gonna shoot that load. And please, stop the bullshit! We all know, as the comedian Kat Williams says, that the “first nut has a mind of its own.” Now, I don’t care how young you are, or how good you think you are, there’s nothing as good as that first nut. In addition, most of us indulge in the second nut mostly because we don’t want some outraged woman blasting our sexual shortcomings (pun intended) on the internet. LOL! Yeah, I’ve seen those “Quick-Draw McGraw” blasts son... Shame on you!

Now, you all know I don’t normally do New Years resolutions, but if I did do them, mine would be to develop my PC muscle to superhuman strength. So far, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Not to the point where I can suck up a glass of oil and spit it out with my cock, but I’m getting there. ::grin::

Not too long ago, I wrote about the PC muscle and women. Most of my female readers think they know all the exercises for the “love muscle,” but believe me ya’ll don’t. I’ll be sharing some of that in the coming weeks. Today, I’m going to share basic PC Muscle 101 for men -- or Dick Kung Fu. I’m not going to give away all my secrets, muthafuckas. I might share more in the coming months.

The simplest exercise for strengthening your PC muscle is called “Stopping the Stream” and it involves stopping the flow of urine ht next time you use the bathroom. If you can’t stop the flow, your PC muscle is weak. That’s OK, cuz Uncle Eddie is gonna help with your “quickness” problem. The PC muscle is what causes the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm. The Taoists discovered that these contractions involved a man’s prostate gland. By learning to contract your PC muscle around your prostate, you can learn to stop yourself from ejaculating which in turn will deepen your orgasmic contractions. As I wrote previously, ejaculation is separate from orgasm. Many men (and women) aren’t aware of this physiological fact. When you contract the prostate, you might begin to feel a shaking or chill through your body. In the following exercise, you will learn to stop the stream of urine and strengthen your PC muscle.

Exercise 1: Stopping the Stream

Inhale: as you get ready to urinate, inhale deeply.

Exhale: Exhale slowly and forcefully push out the urine. [Note: clenching the teeth will intensify the practice.]

Inhale and Contract Your PC: Inhale and contract your PC muscle to stop the flow of urine midstream.

Exhale and Push Out Again: Exhale and start urinating again.

Repeat Until Finished: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (urinating as you exhale and stopping the stream as you inhale) three to six times or until you have finished urinating.

This practice may sting a little at first, but it should quickly disappear within a couple of weeks. However, if it continues, it may indicate you have an infection, in which case you should go to a doctor and have that cleared up before continuing. In addition, to begin, push out your urine as if you are in a hurry and trying to finish quickly. Standing on your toes and clenching your teeth will help intensify the practice, but the most important part of the exercise is simply to start and stop urinating as many times as possible.

Finally, sexual strength is only half the practice. Sexing is like an art, like learning to play the piano or any other instrument. Sensitivity -- to your partner’s arousal and to your own -- is equally if not more important. Unlike the old bullshit techniques of desensitization (lessening feeling) in order to delay ejaculation, becoming multi-orgasmic requires that you increase your sexual sensitivity and bring more mindfulness to your sexual arousal.

Love,

Eddie

Resources

Michael Winn: The Taoist Art of Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

Mantak Chia: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

3 comments:

  1. LOL funny but great advice. practice always makes perfect. so guys out there having problem with premature ejaculation, to enjoy your sex life you must practice the advice above.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always thought a mans tongue was the his important muscle when it comes to sexual pleasure... but then again, I am kind of selfish, huh? LOL

    ReplyDelete

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