Friday, January 7, 2011

The Friday Sex Blog [Anal Sex/ Play 101]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Later today, go by the online magazine, Subversify, and check out my piece on liberation via education (click here and look for my by-line).

Right now? One of my fave topics ::grin::

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-=[ A Woman’s Behind ]=-

Ladies… your anus is right down the block from your vagina, so it would be downright sacrilegious to ignore it. Besides, your ass is my object of worship -- my most unorthodox of altars. Allow me to introduce you to your ass.

Blood flow, nerves, and the “love muscle” (the pubococcygeus muscle) all connect the va-jay-jay hole to the asshole. So why not give it a little love? Self-knowledge, in this case understanding the parts, will help you understand how to make it feel good and thereby liberating your ass…

In our culture, we hold a great deal of tension in our ass muscles, including our sphincters. The term “tight ass” was coined for a reason. In fact, conservatives who vehemently believe in corporal punishment often grow up to be tight asses. They also often confuse obsessive clenching of their anal sphincters for critical thinking. LOL! Actually, there is some truth in that those who are raised by overly strict, punishing parents do have a tendency toward anal retentive personalities.

I happen to think the cheeks are one of the great architectural features of a woman’s anatomy. Those twin orbs sheltering that dark, sweet mysterious place... The cheeks are the muscular padding you sit on. The cheeks call for a different kind of touch than the genitals or anus. Kneading and massaging them results in a good feeling. This also helps get the blood flowing and relaxes the tender, more sensitive parts. A good smack on the lower ass (be sure to keep your hand pressed after the smack) resonates nicely all through the genitals.

The strip of skin between the vagina and the anus in women (or the balls and anus in men) is called the perineum. A friend used to call it the taint. It’s a very sensitive area and unfortunately often ignored. It’s a great spot to massage or tickle with a vibrator (I like to do it with my tongue).

Next is that divine gateway to heaven, the anus. The anus is the opening that leads to the rectum and then the colon. This area is densely packed with nerves and sensory receptors -- so licking and massaging in that areas feels great. When the anus is worshiped properly, excited and relaxed, blood flows to the area, and it even puckers out a bit. The outer sphincter muscle is a muscular ring mostly under your control. It lets you decide when and where to take a dump. In order to pass through this gate, it needs a lot of love (and lube!).

The internal sphincter muscle is a muscular ring that can open and close much like the drawstring of your laundry bag. Located about an inch inside the anus, it lets you know when the poop has arrived and is ready to be pinched off. The inner sphincter, unlike the outer sphincter, is not a voluntary muscle. It does its work automatically. In fact, its response to unwanted poking is to tighten up and even hurting. This ring really needs to be relaxed and happy (and lubed) in order for a toy/ finger/ my penis to get through.

The rectum is the chamber just inside the outer sphincters. It goes about eight inches in a shallow S-curve up to the colon. The wall between the rectum and the vagina is thin enough that you can feel through it. Many people like the feeling of being filled when the rectal walls are holding something like a finger, butt plug, dildo, or penis. Normally, the rectum is empty. The shit resides further up in the colon until its time fro release arrives. Yes, there can be traces of shit in the rectum, but nothing you can’t wash off with a little soap and water. Some people use a warm water anal douche in order to be extra clean. Usually, however, a shower beforehand is more than sufficient.

Anal play can go a long way in helping you release some of the tension that settles around your ass area. Anal play doesn’t have to be penetration -- a little lubed massage, for example, can be a great treat in itself. Think of a good shoulder rub after a particularly hard and stressful day. And please let go of the myth that anal sex causes incontinence -- that’s just plain bullshit. The fact of the matter is that the opposite is true. Gentle stimulation and exercise of the sphincters will result in keeping those muscles working longer and better toned, letting you bypass the Depends aisle in your later years.

Unfortunately, most men have no clue as to how to go about worshiping the ass, in the process traumatizing millions of women. This makes it harder for connoisseurs such as me to fully enjoy the female ass. Shame on you dumb motherfuckers! So, in the interest of helping you out, I’ll make a few important mentions here. First, the anus is a great place to play, but you can’t treat it like a vagina. Keep the following in mind these vital differences during anal play:

The anus does not create its own lubrication. Adding extra lube is a must. Don’t spit on your hand you stupid, stupid idiot! Saliva won’t do it, and spit dries up quickly.

The tissues of the anus and rectum are thinner and more harmed than those in the vagina. Even the slightest hangnail can leave a significant scratch, and scratches in that part of the body are more likely to bleed. STDs are easier to transmit through the anus as well.

Finally, using sex toys on your ass is great fun, but please be careful to use only toys with flared ends or strings for easy removal. The anus doesn’t have a back wall for safety like the vagina does -- it goes on and on, up into the rectum, which then leads to the colon.

Okay, this was an “Ass 101” post. Next, I will address anal sex/ play in more detail in the following sex blog, so stay tuned. And believe me: once I get through with you, even the most traumatized woman will at least consider some anal play.

With love,

Eddie

4 comments:

  1. iamanmd aka James NJanuary 7, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    hehehe LOVING this lmao ... ladies need to pay attention.. the key to a healthy sex life begins in the colon :)  

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did you hear? the Back Door Boys are planning a reunion! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL! Yes shame on those dumb Motherfuckers messing people up!

    ReplyDelete

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