¡Hola mi gente!
Yes, Winter refuses to let go here in the Land of the Snow…but his grasp weakens even as I write. Spring, and all it symbolizes, will soon be upon us.
* * *
I had written an essay on The Period for my sex blog, but it turned out way too long. The more I researched into the cultural history of the female menstrual cycle, the more I was confronted with a history filled with negativity, propaganda, and stereotypes. There’s no way I can fit my analysis of that mess into a one-two page MS Word document, people.
Exploring the culture of concealment that surrounds menstruation is to be confronted with the negative impact it has had on women’s psychological and physical health. From safety problems such as dioxin-laced tampons, to the “menstrual etiquette” fostered by women’s magazines, the cultural mindset around menstruation is leaves women more likely to tell their male friends about an affair than to walk down the hall to the bathroom with an unopened Tampon.
Young women are taught limitations about acceptable behaviors and that bleeding is bad – an irrepressible evidence of (gasp!) sexuality.
I can’t get into all that in one blog. I thought about posting it as a series of blogs, but I felt that, as a man, I have no business writing about this. I have no legs to stand up on this one. I would love to see one of my female friends do a good, well-researched blog on this issue. For now, I will contain myself to sex and the period and hopefully, lightly touch on some of the tangential issues along the way.
I had a sneaking suspicion, but I was never sure until I was in a long-term, committed relationship with such a woman. However, it’s true enough: for some women, the time of their period is their horniest time of the month. You might be one of them. This may stem in part because you feel more sexually liberated during this time, since the possibility of pregnancy is somewhat decreased. I don’t know for sure (and a part of me doesn’t really give a fuck. Kidding! LOL)
Or you may be experiencing a little pelvic congestion, which may cause you to feel aroused. Perhaps, as some of our more intrepid sisters have discovered, you have come upon the possibility that orgasms relieve menstrual symptoms, like cramps, so you’re all over him for a little natural pain relief. Or, who knows?!! You might be feeling more predatory because, you know, you’re feeling the fertility symbolism of your period in an “I am woman, hear me roar, motherfucker” kinda/ sorta way.
A former lover loved sex during her period because she was turned on by the fact that neither of us had an issue with it. For her, it was cool that she and I were able to bond over something most people couldn’t handle. Something that should be perfectly natural since it’s simply part of being a woman. She confided that some of the best sex she experienced was during this time and it relieved some of the worst of her menstrual symptoms.
Taking into consideration all of the benefits for period sex, don’t allow any biases you might have about “that time of month” keep you from having some of the best sex of your life. Can it get messy? Sure. But is it dirty?
It’s nature’s way of doing what it does, and it’s just one more rhythm and flow you should just go with. There is no need to hole up like a nun for a week. Make it clear to your partner you are OK with it, if he is -- it just may become that “special” time of month for both of you. Make sure you have lubricant handy. Despite the flow, one side effect of a woman’s menstruation is a drying of the vaginal mucous membranes. And make shower play a part of the after-sex bonding. During my ex’s period, we would often have sex during a shower, which I find sexy. For me there’s very little sexier than the taste and texture of a woman’s wet skin. Sucking on wet nipples or relishing in the scent of freshly washed, wet skin is heady stuff for me. Wetness is a huge turn on as well.
Plus, she was more likely to allow me some anal play (positive reinforcement!). If you have issues with having intercourse when you got the dot, don’t punish yourself by abstaining altogether. Take matters into your own hands while bathing or showering, which keeps things neat. One ex-lover would sometimes just dry hump me during her period, which brought me back to my high school days... ::blank stare::
In conclusion, never abstain from sex during your period unless it causes you more discomfort than pleasure.
My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…