The Freak

Hola mi gente,
Things are starting to get busy at work, but this is a good thing. LOL

The Process and the Freak

When I talk about the work I do, you have to understand that the “I” I am referencing is a lot bigger than just me. I see my work as being a part of a process that’s larger and more powerful than I. In fact, I perceive who I am today to be the product of many people who have helped me along the way. In other words, who I am and what I do is the result of the work of too many people to count. Today, when I say “I” it is with the clear realization that I am connected on so many levels with so many people.

In fact, if you’re reading this, you have probably helped make me the human being I am today. No shit.

So! The other day, I was headed to a meeting when a woman stopped me and said, “You probably don’t remember me, but… ” Now, in a past life if a woman, or anyone for the matter, approached me with that line, it usually wasn’t positive. I was about to tell her, “Hey, it’s not my baby,” or “If I owe you money… ” LOL But then I remembered that was the old Eddie.

In any case, she went on:

You changed my life. I remember that before I met you, the way I thought about incarcerated people was very narrow-minded, but working with you, and seeing the passion and intelligence you brought to the work and how people responded to you, changed the way I saw people. You changed the way I looked at the world in a very fundamental way and that’s why I’m here today. The funny thing is that when you first met me, you predicted you would change my life. Well, I never got the chance to tell you, but you did. You changed my life and I want to thank you.

Wow, she almost made me cry! 

But here’s the thing: it wasn’t me, but the “process” that changed her. In fact, I’m constantly being changed by the process myself. What I try to do -- on a daily basis -- is to be a conduit for the process of change. Most of the time, that’s about me getting out of the way of the process and being able to channel something much more powerful than me.

So, I turned to her and told her:

“Thank you so much for saying this, it means a lot to me. But here’s the thing: now you have to become an agent for change and be part of that process.”

And the look in her eyes told me she understood everything I was saying. She was actually crying. My hairs are standing up as I write this. No, I’m no Jesus freak, but I know that all of us working together can bring about change. We can make big changes. This is why I get pissed off when I see people giving away their power to neoliberals. We are the change, not Her or Him. I know this because I have experienced it every day for the last 25 years.

This I know is true: You are more powerful than you give yourself credit for and together? Man, that story has yet to be told. 

Who loves you?

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, please consider helping me out by sharing it, liking me on Facebook, following me on Twitter, or even throwing me some money on GoFundMe HERE or via PayPal HERE so I can keep calling it like I see it.

Sunday Sermon [Picking Up the Pieces]

Hola mi Gente,

So, who wants to be a billionaire? LOL Just in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a Powerball Lottery now worth $1.5 billion. Of course, the chances of any one of us winning that nice sum is about 300 million in one, but that’s not stopping anybody (including yours truly) from buying a ticket or two. I call it a poor tax because only people without wealth actually play these games (and never win). What would I do if I won, you ask? Well, you didn't ask but my first act would be to set up a substantial  endowment for people and organizations who are challenging the dangerous concept of punishment as justice and fighting to abolish prisons. Really.

I use variations of the following in some of my talks… 

* * *

 The Starfish Story

Early one morning a man was walking along the beach, watching the ocean waves breaking on the shore, and he saw a most unusual thing. He saw that the beach was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed up on shore and were dying in the sun. Far down the beach in the distance, he could see a young woman picking up starfish and throwing them back in the ocean, one at a time.

When he was close enough to her to be heard above the waves the man said, “You’re wasting your time. There are thousands of starfish here. You can't possibly make any difference.” The young woman reached down, picked up a starfish, and threw it as far as she could, back into the sea. “I made a difference to that one,” she said, and she reached down to pick up another.

* * *

The message and implication of the story is clear -- all our actions reverberate, making an indelible impact, however small, in the fabric of our shared lives. But I also use this story to illustrate another, more personal, but equally important point.

Those of us who are fortunate enough to awaken only to find the wreckage of our past are often faced with the task of attempting to pick up the pieces. It may seem like an impossible challenge. Like the seashore littered with all those thousands of starfish, it may seem to us that nothing we do will make a difference. But as in the story, the point is to make the commitment to pick up the pieces. Every little action you take, one day at a time -- sometimes one breath at a time -- makes all the difference. The point isn’t found in perfection, it is uncovered in the practice.

One by one, you pick up the pieces... Over there, the pieces of your shattered heart, by that rock, the shards of your mind, there, blowing in the wind, your withered soul. You pick them up one by one, lovingly, with compassion, and you give them sustenance and one day you awaken and you realize you are more whole, more balanced, and you will feel in your heart of hearts how far you have journeyed.

And in that way the reverberations you send out leave an indelible mark on the fabric of all that is connected and bring back to life all the dead zones within you.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

What Really Matters [The Inner Holidays]

Hola mi Gente...

If you’re sad or stressed do some service. It's the greatest antidepressant known to humankind...

 

* * *

 The Inner Holidays

The holiest of all holidays are those… Kept by ourselves in silence and apart… The secret anniversaries of the heart.

-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The holidays are an opportunity for us to set aside our work and routines -- to give ourselves permission to put away, for the moment, our problems, and burdens. They are a time for joining with others in the celebration of life. However, this is not an easy thing to do. Maybe together we can learn from each other how to do it.

Perhaps our holidays are clouded by sad and painful memories of the past. We miss loved ones who have passed on, or with whom we have cut ties with, or with whom we have lost contact. For me, the holidays are a mixed bag because they are reminders of my past excesses. I have come to understand that, if anything, the holidays are more about excesses rather than celebrations of life. There is the excess of consumption, of giving in to attachments whether in the form of food or material things.

This emphasis -- this obsession on getting and giving -- can become quite stressful: our lives are invaded by a mob mentality that can be, well... literally murderous. And, of course, mindlessness is encouraged everywhere, threatening to destroy all that we hold precious. In addition, the essential message of Christianity (at least as I see it, and I don't consider myself a "Christian") is somehow lost in the shuffle of commercialism. It’s not about peace and goodwill; it’s really about -- well, at this point in time who really knows? The holidays can present an even greater sadness for those of us who may be experiencing financial difficulties, adding to the holiday stress. Fact is that the glitter of the holidays is oftentimes an elaborate ornamental disguise for quiet despair.

It’s almost obscene.

What to do? Well, I have long ago learned that the holidays don’t have to be perfect. Sure, there is all this commercial crap diluting what is in reality a beautiful message, but I can create my own meaning. Perhaps together we can make that effort to turn within and share, not so much what can be measured materially, but the piece of ourselves that connects. A small gesture, a smile, an attempt to reach out, even a small acknowledgment can be ten times more powerful than the latest gadget. It’s all within our grasp. A few years back, for example, a former colleague and I left anonymous notes and simple gifts of candies in the office mailboxes. Nothing extravagant, merely gentle reminders to people that they are valued for who they are. Imagine if you found the following note on your windshield one cold morning:

You're receiving this note simply because you're beautiful as you are, and while I don't know you, I believe that as human beings we all have the potential to commit acts of kindness, works of beauty, and that we all have the potential to change lives for the better. This note is a reminder of the beauty and power you possess.

Yeah, I realize that perhaps your carefully cultivated, been-there-done-that coolness would immediately ridicule the note and maybe it wouldn't make much of a difference, but don't tell me such a note wouldn't touch in a way your hard-won cynicism forces you to deny. Somewhere inside of you, there's a place that would appreciate the note, corny as it might seem. Try it some day: leave such a message for a stranger, friend, or colleague, watch their reactions... 

Lost in all this insanity and apathy, is the genuine Christian message is that a man -- really an ordinary man, a mere laborer -- who never owned his own home, who never wrote a book, or invented anything -- a poor man born of a single homeless mother, in fact, was able to change the world with a message of love. Now, that’s some shit right there.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…