Sunday Sermon [Surrender and Devotion]

Hola mi gente…
I’ll be at the Loisaida Festival today. Come join us!

Surrender & Devotion

You all are probably sick and tired of my constant references to surrender. But you see: there’s no way around it: if you want to be happy for once in your fuckin’ life you first have to surrender and surrender completely. This is no, “Well, I’ll surrender a little bit, then later I’ll surrender sum more” surrender. No, that shit doesn’t get it. You’ve been doing that long enough and half-assed surrendering got you half-assed results.

No, I want nothing more than your total, unconditional, utter surrender. And I don’t want it for myself (though my world would be made better by it), nor do I want you to surrender to me (though that would be nice).

I guess I should start at what I mean by surrender. The word “surrender” gets a bad rap in our culture, with its almost obsessive and exclusive focus on the individual. Surrender is often interpreted as giving up, weakness, ceding, as in defeat. While I am referring somewhat to giving up, I use it in a different way. Surrendering to me means letting go of our resistance to and fear of the total openness of who we really are. Allow me to reiterate:

Surrender means opening up to the fact of the total openness of who you really are.

Yup. You are total open consciousness. You may not know it, but everything you need for your freedom exists within you right now, in this very life, this very moment. You just need to stop resisting this very important truth.

Surrendering to me means giving up that little mass of tensions you call your “self” -- the story you created as a response for the need to feel real. All that bullshit: your horoscope, your Myers/ Briggs categorization, your social security number, your ID card -- all that shit is bullshit. It’s your little telenovela, your personal soap opera. That is not who you are. That whole thing -- that “personality” -- is a bundle of tension you chose to take on in order to separate yourself from everyone else’s telenovelas. You can actually feel it: it manifests itself as a contraction in your body.

You cannot be vulnerable nor can you surrender while immersed in your personal soap opera. You cannot love, nor know love, nor be loved while you’re all twisted like that.

Soften yourself, breathe -- luxuriate in your free space… 

Surrendering to me means to open with no boundaries. Shit, you cannot say, “I love you,” when in a state of surrender. There is no “I” -- no “you” -- that loves. There is only love. Quick! Think of someone you love totally without condition -- a son or daughter, or a lover… 

Feel that?

That is what you are. It’s palpable -- you can feel this thing that you are -- it’s always there even when you lose sight of it. That’s who and what you are.

Surrender to me means loving without limits. It means to break down your walls and to let down your guard so that your lover can feel your genuine, naked, and unhidden core without defenses. Your belly becomes soft and your breath becomes full. You willingly open your body and heart to your lover. When you reach this level of awareness, life unfolds differently. If you are hurt, you experience the hurt, but you remain open and full. You live your life as open like the sky, the ocean, the trees. Surrender to me is the gateway to the deepest possible way of knowing.

You might say you have opened like this and I will challenge you. You may have surrendered to someone or something but I have met very few people who have surrendered to the notion they are love. What I mean by surrendering is the practice (not the thought, or analysis) of surrendering. In this context it is not surrendering to your fears, nor the demands of another, but directly to love. If you tell me you have no resistance to any of this, then I’m going to call you on your bullshit because if you have ever tried surrendering in this way the first realization is that there is a huge resistance to it.

True surrender, in the manner in which I use the word, is not adapting in order to please people. Nor is it even momentarily sacrificing your emotional needs. These are all secondary needs and true surrender is about breaking through veil of these secondary needs and amplifying the primal and very human yearning to give and receive unlimited and unbound love.

And that my friends is devotion.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

The Friday Sex Blog [Fucking for Revolution]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Today I'm attending an event at Centro Estudios Puertoriqueños at Hunter College (click here for info). Tomorrow is a big day at #OccupyWallStreet, as a coordinated global action is set to take place (here). You should come, even if you don't know, or give a fuck, or want to see what happens when the will of the people is applied through nonviolent means.

It’s Friday and that means it really is all about sex… LOL

* * *

-=[ Living and Dying ]=-

...So quiet now.
Soften yourself and listen.
Connected and motionless.

To the symphonic pulsing of our blood,
the crash of an eyelid,
the joyous trickle of a bead of sweat.

Sooner or later, no matter how much you try to deny it, a moment just like this one will be your last. It’s the only punch line to this grand Cosmic Joke we call life that you can be certain of (and no, taxes are not inevitable, just ask any “corporate personhood”).

You are alive, for now at least. Feel your heart beating in your chest. Soften yourself -- soften your belly and your jaw. Feel your heart’s celestial mambo radiating outward, pulsing through your hands and feet and neck. Feeling your heartbeat, relax open as if offering your heart to the world.

While feeling your heartbeat as an offering, feel how you live your moments. What did you do today? What are your plans? Who do you love and how deeply?

Here’s a thought: no matter how much money you have made, one day your body will become cold and numb, your heart will stop its determined and persistent cosmic echo, your breath will cease, and it will all stop.

Period.

Ask yourself this: are you ready for death? Are you ready for the death of your children, your parents, your beloved friends?

Picture this: a picnic with your friends and famly. Fried chicken and cold beverages. A gentle breeze and the sun caressing your face. Suddenly your heart stops. A final gasp. Fade to black…

Are you ready? I’m asking because today many of your fellow human beings are questioning what we’ve been taught to believe and to value all our lives. We’re saying that when that moment comes, what will matter most is if you’ve loved fully and deeply, and given of your deepest gifts. The Dow Jones or how much money you’ve made won’t matter much when the time comes (if you don’t believe me ask yourself what Steve Jobs was thinking at the end).

A life lived well embraces death by feeling openness, not contraction. The good life is an open heart, open to all, in every moment. Wide open, you can make of your life an offering; you can also receive without pushing away. This is fearless living without the walls of repression that bring so much suffering and the dreaded feeling of disconnect and isolation even in the midst of plenty and privilege. Wide open, you are openness; every moment comes and goes as openness.

Your lover’s embrace: sweet, full, but already disengaging, loosening. Your child’s smile: temporary, oh-so-precious, and yet already dissolving. Every moment is at once miraculous and disolving. Every experience both profound and empty.

Life lived merely for the sake of experience is a life half lived: tense, insecure, lonely, and ultimately unfulfilling. Your experience cannot fulfill you because as soon as it comes it is already gone, a thin wisp, like the scent of a vague memory, the tail end of a hope, receding just out of reach.

Without grasping, this moment (which could be your last) emerges free and bright. Surrendering -- loving and opening deeply, offering your heart -- these are the moments that will become your karma, reverberating long after you have moved on.

Sex, dearest, is sometimes our little practiced piece of dying. Death is the permission, indeed, the exhortation, to open freely as love.

Love,

Eddie

Sunday Sermon [Surrender and Devotion]

¡Hola! Everybody…
I wrote this the last time I moved two years ago (LOL)… I am decorating and as soon as my back gets better, I’ll finish and take photos.

* * *

Surrender & Devotion

You all are probably sick and tired of my constant references to surrender. But you see: there’s no way around it: if you want to fuckin’ be happy for once in your fuckin’ life you first have to surrender and surrender completely. This is no the, “Well, I’ll surrender a little bit, Eddie, then later I’ll surrender sum more” surrender. No, that shit doesn’t get it. You’ve been doing that long enough and half-assed surrendering got you half-assed results.

No, I want nothing more than your total, unconditional, utter surrender. And I don’t want it for myself (though my world would be made better by your utter surrender), nor do I want you to surrender to me (though that would be nice).

I guess I should start at what I mean by surrender (there are two words in my title today, BTW… )

The word “surrender” gets a bad rap in our culture, with it’s almost obsessive and exclusive focus on the individual. Surrender is often interpreted as giving up, weakness, giving up, as in defeat. While I am referring somewhat to giving up, I use it in a different way. Surrendering to me means letting go of our resistance to and fear of the total openness of who we really are. Allow me to reiterate:

Surrender means opening up to the fact of the total openness of who you really are.

Yup. You are total open consciousness. You may not know it, but everything you need for your freedom exists within you right now, in this very life, this very moment. You just need to stop resisting that fact.

Surrendering to me means giving up that little mass of tensions you call your “self” – the story you created as a response for the need to feel real. All that bullshit: your horoscope, your Myers/ Briggs categorization, your social security number, your ID card – all that shit is bullshit. It’s your little personal soap opera. That is not who you are. That whole thing – that “personality” -- is a bundle of tension you chose to take on in order to separate yourself from everyone else’s personal soap operas. Feel it: it manifests itself as a contraction in your body.

You cannot be vulnerable nor can you surrender while clothed in your personal soap opera. You cannot love, nor know love, nor be loved while you’re all twisted like that.

Soften yourself, breathe – luxuriate in your free space…

Surrendering to me means to open with no boundaries. Shit, you cannot say, “I love you,” when in a state of surrender. There is no “I” -- no “Eddie” -- that loves you. There is only love. Quick! STFU! Think of someone you love totally without condition – a son or daughter, or a lover…

Feel that?

That is what you are. It’s palpable -- you can feel this thing that you are -- it’s always there even when you lose sight of it. That’s who and what you are.

Surrender to me means loving without limits. It means to break down your walls and to let down your guard so that your lover can feel your very core – genuine, naked, and unhidden, without defenses. Your belly becomes soft and your breath becomes full. You willingly open your body and heart to your lover. If you are hurt, you are hurt, but you remain open and full. You live your live as open like the sky, the ocean, the trees. Surrender to me is the gateway to the deepest possible way of knowing.

You might say you have opened like this and I will challenge you. You may have surrendered to someone or something but I have met very few people who have surrendered to the notion they are love. What I mean by surrendering is the practice (not the thought, or analysis) of surrendering -- not to your own fears, nor the demands of another -- but directly to love. If you tell me you have no resistance to any of this, then I’m going to call you on your bullshit because if you have ever tried surrendering in this way the first realization is that there is a huge resistance to it.

True surrender, in the manner in which I use the word, is not adapting yourself to please people. Nor is it even momentarily surrendering your emotional needs. These are all secondary needs and true surrender is about breaking through veil of these secondary needs and amplifying the primal core, and very human yearning to give and receive unlimited and unbound love.

And that my friends is devotion.

Love,

Eddie