First off, for the several who submitted their Mission Statement exercise -- thanks. I always enjoy engaging people frame an asset-based perspective rather than from what’s wrong.
There’s nothing with you... really.
I’ve been working too hard, running myself down and I’m feeling a little under the weather. I’m staying home this weekend and just rest. Have a great weekend, ya’ll.
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-=[ Increasing Female Arousal ]=-
“Learn to pleasure yourself first. You will have enough time to learn the rest.”
Those were my father’s words spoken to me as a young man. I thought at first that it was a selfish thing to say, but I took his advice and I’m glad I did. I understand today that my father was encouraging me to explore myself as a sexual being -- to develop a sexual understanding that began with an understanding of myself. That grounding -- that basic understanding -- would be the foundation from which I developed my “sexual voice.” It was a positive and mostly enjoyable challenge that taught me we’re responsible for our pleasure.
So I write the following as man with the above perspective. I also understand that I can never know pleasure from a woman’s perspective, but what I am offering here is my perspective -- limited as it is by perspective. In short, what follows are some guidelines based on my experiences and research.
Ultimately, a woman is responsible for her desire, arousal, and orgasm. It’s not the man’s responsibility to “give you” an orgasm. Like me, women must also develop their “sexual voice.”
Let me begin at the end and try to dispel some nasty myths. The goal is not competitive sex -- sex isn’t a contest or war. In fact, nothing has done more harm than the myth of “The War between the Sexes.” Both the man and the woman need to be sexually aware so they can share and adequately express themselves sexually. Massive misunderstandings regarding female sexuality have proven to be the major obstacle toward the development of intimacy. For one thing, findings about female sexuality have totally distorted by the mass media. Sensationalistic magazine articles have created new myths, such as the belief the woman must have an orgasm each time, the belief that orgasm is the only measure of satisfaction, the myth of the primacy of the “G” spot, or the belief that being multi-orgasmic is superior to having a single orgasm.
The most important fact is that the female sexual response is more complex and variable than male response. It is not better or worse, more sexual or less sexual, but is more flexible and variable.
But let me switch back in time a little. Until very recently, it was assumed that men were much more sexually responsive than women. Women (at least “good” Christian women) weren’t supposed to enjoy sex. Sex, in the traditional view, was a woman’s duty tolerated only because it allowed affection and intimacy. I still meet women who will have sex only under a very traditional framework. A “good” woman was not expected to initiate sex, or to enjoy it. After all, sex was essentially of the body and sinful, painful and degrading. The very notion that women could enjoy sex was heretical from a traditional Christian perspective.
The truth is that empirical research has found more similarities than differences in female and male sexual response. Let me put that out there again:
Empirical research has found more similarities than differences in female and male sexual response. That isn’t an opinion.
Women and men have similar capacities for desire, pleasure, arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction. I know this goes counter to what you’ve learned from watching too many Sex and the City reruns -- but we’re more alike than Cosmo or Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Cassie has let on.
As for multi-orgasms? Both men and women have the potential for it. In fact, I am a multi-orgasmic male. In fact, women have the capacity to be bigger sluts than men because their capacity to have several orgasms is more natural for them. LOL!
Today, women can give themselves permission to enjoy healthy, normal sexuality. Sexuality for them is as worthwhile for them as men and you can thank those nasty feminist bitches for that. Yeah, the very same ho’s you love to put down -- they laid down the foundation for female sexual liberation. Men and insecure women have an issue with female sexuality. LOL
If you’re comfortable with emotional intimacy, pleasuring, and eroticism, you can enjoy a sexuality that reinforces intimate relationships. Traditional female sexual socialization emphasizes intimacy at the expense of eroticism. Valuing eroticism is an integral component of a vital female sexuality.
I’m late for work, so I’m going to have to finish this at a later time...