Perception and Reality

Hola Everybody,
Two interviews today, two yesterday, one more tomorrow.

Perception

Perception, by x-horizon

One of my favorite topics is perception and how we make meaning our world. In our culture, we identify five main senses that humans possess (seeing, hearing, feeling, taste, and smell). In Buddhist psychology, the mind is considered a sixth sense, since it’s the process of the senses “rubbing up” against the mind that creates perception. But that’s for another day. Today, let’s simply say that we use the main senses to make, well, sense of the world around us. It should then that using all the senses regularly can help make you a better communicator. Senses help you assess situations, analyze events, and interpret your surroundings.

While it’s true that everyone shares the same senses, information is a very individual matter. For example, some people love the smell of sex, while others can’t stand it. A good communicator seeks to know how others interpret information and their preferred sense.

Consider a garden. One person may love the smell of freshly mown grass, another is lured by the color of plants, while a third may be attracted by the birds singing. A scene can mean different things to different people depending on their preference for each sense. While we register senses that come from outside the body, the processing takes place inside, creating individual interpretations of events.

Of course, there are other factors to consider. For example, a party may mean something different to a drunk, someone in love, and someone looking to network. For the drunk, a party may mean an opportunity for more drinking; he or she may be filled with thoughts of drinking. For someone in love, her focus may be on the object of her attraction. Finally, for someone looking to network, a party may look like an opportunity for business. But let’s stay with the senses today because they are basic and extremely important to our perception of reality.

Here’s a brief breakdown of the sense preference:

Visual: What you see, pictures, use of color and decoration, a preference for information presented graphically and pictorially.

Auditory: What you hear, sounds, voices, music, being able to process information presented verbally.

Kinesthetic: What you feel, a preference for touch and experience things personally, learn well by trying and doing.

Olfactory: What you smell (aroma), linked strongly to memory and mood.

Gustatory: What you taste, responses linked to food and drink.

In everyday communication, the first three senses are used most frequently. Think of VHF to remember these three: Visual, Hearing, and Feeling. When the words/ phrases below are used, they give an indication of the speaker’s dominant/ preferred sense. Speaking to someone using the language of their preferred sense serves to increase rapport and enhance communication.

Consider which of the following words you use most frequently in order to discover which your preferred sense is:

Visual – Seeing:

I see what you mean                                                        I get the picture

That looks right                                                               In my mind’s eye…

Show me the money                                                        Let’s take the long view

Keep an eye on things…

Auditory – Hearing

I hear what you’re saying                                               That sounds right

That rings a bell                                                              Listen in to…

That sounds familiar                                                      Tune in to something new

I need to hear people out

Kinesthetic -- Feeling 

That feels right                                                                I found it easy to handle

That touches a nerve                                                       I can empathize with

I’ve got the hang of it now                                             Hold on tight to reality

Come to grips with reality

In addition, each sense can be refined with more detail. These finer distinctions are called submodalities. You can fine-tune submodalities by adjusting the detail to change your perceptions (feelings/ emotions) when dealing with positive and negative situations. 

For example, by changing an image in your mind from color to black and white, you make it less vivid, and can then step back from the situation, disassociating yourself from the emotion. This is especially effective for anxieties and traumas. Alternatively, you can bring humor into a difficult situation by imagining the other person as a cartoon character. Changes can be made in the present time or afterwards when you think back to events and situations.

Submodalities:

Visual

Color (black/ white)                                                          Brightness

Contrast                                                                            Moving or still

Blurred or focused                                                            Close or far away

Large or small                                                                   In a tight frame,

or in a panorama

Auditory

Volume (loud/ soft)                                                           Tone

Duration                                                                             Location

Stereo or mono                                                                  Words or sounds

Pitch (high/ low)                                                                Tempo & rhythm

Kinesthetic

Temperature (hot/ cold)                                                     Location

Intensity                                                                             Texture (rough/ smooth)

Weight (heavy/ light)                                                         Pressure (hard/ soft)

Duration

Using submodalities, you can change your perception of present and past situations. For example, if you picture a past event and it seems small in your mind’s eye, you change that picture to be more panoramic and it will change your perception of that event.

 

The same is true with color. Most traumatic events are vivid in their exacting detail. Change the vividness in your mind’s eye and it helps to disassociate yourself from the grips of the paralyzing fear that accompanies such memories. I have been able to work with people and certain phobias, such as fear of flying and heights. It’s also that can be used with traumatic experiences. Of course, you can’t start with “big” things. You start with less fearful or traumatic memories and work yourself up. I actually “cured” my ex-boss of his fear of flying by using (in part) submodalities.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

That Loving Feeling

Hola mi Gente,

People always wonder why I’m single. At some point soon, I will attempt to answer that query. LOL! Today I’m going to connect you to that holy grail of relationships: “The One,” your “Soulmate,” your real love... 

Love Action

Love is a verb

Everybody wants some love action.

Many of us, even the well-adjusted ones amongst us lesser mortals, seek love and reassurance from others for feelings we seldom experience. If we don’t think we are capable, sexy, or lovable, we will look for others to give us those things. What I am about to attempt is to show how to feel loved in the same way you feel loved when you perceive that another loves you. I will show you how to develop this inner loving quality so that you’re not out there looking to get it from someone else. And even if you’re perfectly well-adjusted, entertain me and act as if... 

Ask most people about love and their reaction usually involves pointing outward. Love is something out there waiting to happen. It sometimes falls on us like a piano out of the sky. Oftentimes, the language we use when talking about romantic love is fatalistic, as in, “I fell for him.” Or it’s a chance we take, or some other nonsense. Most of all, people tend to describe romantic love as a feeling they get from someone else. Love is something you get from other people.

It follows then that being loved or being lovable is not part of a lot of people’s self-concept. It’s funny how we talk about love. We talk about love as if we were passive victims of an elusive emotion: we fall in love. We go crazy with love. Pop songs are full of such imagery. However, isn’t how we describe other emotions ironic? We say, we are angry, we are sad, but how many times do we say, we are love?

Yeah... thought so.

But that is the point: We are love. Anything you ever needed or wanted -- that feeling of love and being loved -- exists within you right this very moment. In fact, I doubt it very much that you will ever find someone to fill that void for you. You will look and look until your sex organs expire from atrophy and still you will not find that love, because you’re looking in all the wrong places.

No date tonight? Let’s find one for you, ok? Stay with me, don’t catch a feeling. I promise that you can go back to your myths and pain after reading this if you so desire.

Right now, I want you to think about something about yourself that is true -- regardless of what others think. Some people will say that they are kind, persistent, or intelligent, for example. The only important thing is that it’s something you hold to be true about yourself.

How do you know this? What is the internal experience that makes you know that you possess this quality? I’m not asking you for what you think, or the feelings you associate with this quality.

I’m asking you, how do you know you possess this quality When you look back to the times when you experience this quality (i.e., kindness, sensuality, compassion, perseverance -- whatever you believe to be true about yourself) what happens inside? Do you talk to yourself, do you see mental pictures; do you feel the movements you make when you express this quality? Perhaps when being kind you see mental pictures of when you were being kind to someone.

Are you doing this? Good! Commit to you memory the things that let you know you possess this quality. Now, what happens to your sense of self when you’re not expressing this quality? For example, if you chose kindness, what happens to your sense of self when you’re being unkind? Do you try to make things right? Good! That shows you really do possess this quality.

How would you feel about thinking of yourself as being love, or as being a lovable person (as in the example of the quality of kindness)? Wouldn’t that be a good idea? You wouldn’t have to go about getting validation from outside of yourself.

Close your eyes and recall one example of a time you experienced creating love or being love or loving. Now put that mental picture into the same place as one of the pictures of being kind (or whatever quality you chose). Make the mental picture the same size, the same distance from you, etc. Now think of another time you experienced love or being lovable, perhaps with another person, or a different situation, and put that mental picture there with the previous one. Continue doing this until you have a bunch of mental images like the ones you have of being kind (or the quality you chose at the beginning). Keep assembling those pictures and storing them.

It may feel a little strange at first, but if you’re actually doing the exercise correctly, each time you develop and store a picture, your feeling of being love or being lovable becomes more real.

Welcome to your real self, people.

Who loves you?

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

The Senses: Perception and Reality

¡Hola! Everybody,

I actually need to do some work today. I’ll probably spend 3-4 hours at the office. We’re in the midst of an organizational strategic plan and I have some “mind-mapping” to do (I use this software). In any case, have a great weekend, people…

 

The Senses

One of my favorite topics is perception and how we make meaning our world. In our culture, we identify five main senses that humans possess (seeing, hearing, feeling, taste, and smell). In Buddhist psychology, the mind is considered a sixth sense, since it’s the process of the senses “rubbing up” against the mind that creates perception. But that’s for another day. Today, let’s simply say that we use the main senses to make, well, sense of the world around us. It should then follow that using all the senses regularly can help make us better communicators. Senses help you assess situations, analyze events, and interpret your surroundings.

While it’s true that everyone shares the same senses, information is a very individual matter. For example, some people love the smell of sex, while others can’t stand it. *grin* A good communicator seeks to know how people interpret their information and what their preferred sense is.

Consider a garden. One person may love the smell of freshly mown grass, another is lured by the color of plants, while a third may be attracted by the birds singing. A scene can mean different things to different people depending on their preference for each sense. While we register senses that come from outside the body, the processing takes place inside, creating individual interpretations of events.

Of course, there are other factors to consider. For example, a party may mean something different to a drunk, someone in love, and someone looking to network. For the drunk, a party may mean an opportunity for more drinking; he or she may be filled with thoughts of drinking. For someone in love, her focus may be on the object of her attraction. Finally, for someone looking to network, a party may look like an opportunity for business. But let’s stay with the senses today because they are basic and extremely important to our perception of reality.

Here’s a brief breakdown of the sense preference:

Visual: What you see, pictures, use of color and decoration, a preference for information presented graphically and pictorially.

Auditory: What you hear, sounds, voices, music, being able to process information presented verbally.

Kinesthetic: What you feel, a preference for touch and experience things personally, learn well by trying and doing.

Olfactory: What you smell (aroma), linked strongly to memory and mood.

Gustatory: What you taste, responses linked to food and drink.

In everyday communication, the first three senses are used most frequently. Think of VHF to remember these three: Visual, Hearing, and Feeling. When the words/ phrases below are used, they give an indication of the speaker’s dominant/ preferred sense. Speaking to someone using the language of their preferred sense serves to increase rapport and enhance communication.

Consider which of the following words you use most frequently in order to discover which your preferred sense is:

Visual – Seeing: 

I see what you mean                                             I get the picture

That looks right                                                     In my mind’s eye…

Show me the money                                             Let’s take the long view

Keep an eye on things… 

Auditory – Hearing

I hear what you’re saying                                  That sounds right

That rings a bell                                                    Listen in to…

That sounds familiar                                          Tune in to something new

I need to hear people out

Kinesthetic -- Feeling 

That feels right                                                     I found it easy to handle

That touches a nerve

I can empathize with                                          I’ve got the hang of it now

Hold on tight to reality                                     Come to grips with reality

In addition, each sense can be refined with more detail. These finer distinctions are called submodalities. You can fine-tune submodalities by adjusting the detail to change your perceptions (feelings/ emotions) when dealing with positive and negative situations. For example, by changing an image in your mind from color to black and white, you make it less vivid, and can then step back from the situation, disassociating yourself from the emotion. This is especially effective for anxieties and traumas. Alternatively, you can bring humor into a difficult situation by imagining the other person as a cartoon character. Changes can be made in the present time or afterwards when you think back to events and situations.

Submodalities:

Visual

Color (black/ white)                                              Brightness

Contrast                                                                   Moving or still

Blurred or focused                                                Close or far away

Large or small                                                       In a tight frame,

or in a panorama

Auditory

Volume (loud/ soft)                                             Tone

Duration                                                                Location

Stereo or mono                                                    Words or sounds

Pitch (high/ low)

Tempo & rhythm

Kinesthetic

Temperature (hot/ cold)                                    Location

Intensity                                                                Texture (rough/ smooth)

Weight (heavy/ light)                                        Pressure (hard/ soft)

Duration                                                               Size

Using submodalities, you can change your perception of present and past situations. For example, if you picture a past event and it seems small in your mind’s eye, you change that pcture to be more panoramic and it will change your perception of that event. The same with color. 

Most traumatic events are vivid in their exacting detail. Change the vividness in your mind’s eye and it helps to disassociate yourself from the grips of the paralyzing fear that accompanies such memories. I have been able to work with people and certain phobias, such as fear of flying and heights. It’s also that can be used with traumatic experiences. Of course, you can’t start with “big” things. You start with less fearful or traumatic memories and work yourself up. I actually “cured” my ex boss of his fear of flying by using (in part) submodalities.

Love,

Eddie