The Freak

Hola mi gente,
Things are starting to get busy at work, but this is a good thing. LOL

The Process and the Freak

When I talk about the work I do, you have to understand that the “I” I am referencing is a lot bigger than just me. I see my work as being a part of a process that’s larger and more powerful than I. In fact, I perceive who I am today to be the product of many people who have helped me along the way. In other words, who I am and what I do is the result of the work of too many people to count. Today, when I say “I” it is with the clear realization that I am connected on so many levels with so many people.

In fact, if you’re reading this, you have probably helped make me the human being I am today. No shit.

So! The other day, I was headed to a meeting when a woman stopped me and said, “You probably don’t remember me, but… ” Now, in a past life if a woman, or anyone for the matter, approached me with that line, it usually wasn’t positive. I was about to tell her, “Hey, it’s not my baby,” or “If I owe you money… ” LOL But then I remembered that was the old Eddie.

In any case, she went on:

You changed my life. I remember that before I met you, the way I thought about incarcerated people was very narrow-minded, but working with you, and seeing the passion and intelligence you brought to the work and how people responded to you, changed the way I saw people. You changed the way I looked at the world in a very fundamental way and that’s why I’m here today. The funny thing is that when you first met me, you predicted you would change my life. Well, I never got the chance to tell you, but you did. You changed my life and I want to thank you.

Wow, she almost made me cry! 

But here’s the thing: it wasn’t me, but the “process” that changed her. In fact, I’m constantly being changed by the process myself. What I try to do -- on a daily basis -- is to be a conduit for the process of change. Most of the time, that’s about me getting out of the way of the process and being able to channel something much more powerful than me.

So, I turned to her and told her:

“Thank you so much for saying this, it means a lot to me. But here’s the thing: now you have to become an agent for change and be part of that process.”

And the look in her eyes told me she understood everything I was saying. She was actually crying. My hairs are standing up as I write this. No, I’m no Jesus freak, but I know that all of us working together can bring about change. We can make big changes. This is why I get pissed off when I see people giving away their power to neoliberals. We are the change, not Her or Him. I know this because I have experienced it every day for the last 25 years.

This I know is true: You are more powerful than you give yourself credit for and together? Man, that story has yet to be told. 

Who loves you?

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, please consider helping me out by sharing it, liking me on Facebook, following me on Twitter, or even throwing me some money on GoFundMe HERE or via PayPal HERE so I can keep calling it like I see it.

Skillful Living

Hola mi Gente,
When I facilitated workshops, I was always looking out for experiential exercises. This, in turn, kept me in a state of constant exploration and learning. So, in a very real sense, my workshop participants were actually my greatest teachers.

Alive

Change your words into truth and then change that truth into love…
 -- Steveland Wonder, As

Ever consciously reflected on the fact that you are alive -- right now? I mean really get into that? Try this, soften your belly and relax your jaw. Feel -- feel don’t think -- feel your heart beating deep inside your body, and feel the rhythm of your heart as it radiates outward, pulsing in your hands, feet, and neck. Feeling your heart in this way, relax and open as in an offering to the world.

While you are at it, take a moment and try to feel how you live your life. How do you spend your life’s moments? What did you or will do today or yesterday? What are your plans for tomorrow? Who do you love and do you love deeply?

The undeniable truth is that no matter what -- no matter how much money you have made, how many Coach Bags you own -- one day you will become numb and your heart will stop, you will stop breathing, and all this will disappear. In some moment just like this one, your life will end.

Period.

Are you ready for death? Are you ready for the death of your children and your loved ones?

Perhaps one day you will be friends and family celebrating, a gentle breeze, the sun caressing your face. Suddenly your heart stops. A final plea… and then fade to black… 

Are you ready? I mean, are you truly ready? Have you loved and lived fully and given of your deepest gifts?

A life well lived is a life faced with an open heart in every moment. You can be wide open, holding nothing back and you will receive in return without pushing away. This is true whether you are living in a penthouse or the Big House (prison). The opening of your heart does not come from an analysis of some kind, it is not dependent on external factors, it does not come from “loving” in the normal sense that we conceptualize love. The opening of your heart comes from a deeply felt sense. You are openness, inseparable from this entire moment. The one truth is that everything comes and goes. Everything must change.

Your child’s smile: precious but temporary and already dissolving.

Your lover’s tender embrace: already disentangling.

Life often resembles the ocean in that, try as we may, we are essentially helpless to stop the waves -- they come and go, no matter how much we rail against them. Yet, while it is true that we cannot stop the waves, we can still learn how to surf. Every moment is a miracle and already disappearing. Every experience is at the same time full and empty -- both.

A life lived merely for the sake of experience is a cheated life full of tension, insecurity, loneliness, and a deep sense of emptiness. Your Coach bag cannot fulfill you because, at some point in time, it will fade. It will break, or get lost, stolen, or worse: it will fall out of fashion. Your experience cannot fulfill you because as soon as it comes, it is already gone. Like the addict’s obsession/ compulsion for a fix, it’s an illusion, just out of reach.

If we stop the grasping, life becomes free and full of light. Surrendering is opening. That’s how you open -- you surrender, opening full and bright, breathing deeply. Offering your heart of hearts, you are reborn in this moment. Believe me, when the end comes the only questions that will matter is whether you loved deeply and lived fully. But do not wait, death gives us the permission to live freely and love openly this very moment.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, please consider helping me out by sharing it, liking me on Facebook, following me on Twitter, or even throwing me some money on GoFundMe HERE or via PayPal HERE so I can keep calling it like I see it.