A Philosophy of Change

Hola Everybody,
Geez, how things have regressed: I slept with my moms last night! I kidded her -- told her to watch out and sleep with her butt to the wall -- and she got pissed! LMAO!

Hey! I'll hump on anything in my sleep!

Wednesdays are for things philosophical...

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-=[ A Philosophy of Change ]=-

Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.
-- Greg Anderson former NBA forward/center

When people ask me what I do, I have a hard time answering because I do many things. The term, engaged Latino scholar might sound good, but what the fuck does an engaged Latino scholar actually do? LOL!

I "do" many things, but most of all I like to think I am an agent of change. I can say that I specialize in change. More specifically, my interest and work -- my passion, you might say -- lies in discovering and using the mechanisms of change. The essential question in my professional personal life is, "How do people and organizations change."

What has to be in place (the mechanisms) in order for positive change to come about?

People change all the time. You -- you're changing right this moment. The point here is not so much about change, but positive change -- as you perceive that change. I think we all have assumptions about change and how people change, or don't change. The reason why I love the work I do is not so much because of how often I come face-to-face with the power of the human spirit, but because of the creative process of that spirit. I'm part of an exquisite, intimate dance everyday of my life. A dance that requires connection, innovation, thought, passion, and -- yes -- love.

People change all the time; I see it all the time. And they often do it under the most extreme and difficult situations. I think we tend to concentrate on those that don't change and we get cynical. I'm not a cynic, nor am I blind to reality, but I am a skeptic and a skeptic's job is primarily to question.

To question everything.

I have my own assumptions about change and I can't prove them because they are beliefs. While they are beliefs, they are beliefs cultivated from years of practice and research. While my assumptions may not be more privileged then others, I can say that they have been put to the question many, many times. I can also say that change has been easier when these assumptions are held to be true.

Change, real change is the most difficult thing in the world. If you're trying to lose weight, or be free of a habit, believe me it will be very difficult. Very few humans actually change much in their lives, in fact. But I can tell you that change is possible for anyone who truly desires it. My first assumption is connected to this statement in that I believe we all want to be happy and fulfilled. Many of us have come to the realization that we have a healthy self that for years has buried under piles of psychic garbage. All the abuse, criticism, neglect -- all the destructive forces in our lives -- has buried our true original self. Real change is first about awakening this aspect o ourselves and nurturing it, giving it hope.

My second assumption is easy: we all have basic needs: the need to relate and feel connected; the need for independence and autonomy; the need to feel desirable, successful, and attractive; the need to be considered with dignity amongst our peers; the need for pleasure, fun, and creativity – to pursue interests that gratify us; and the need to help others, to show concern and love

My third assumption is that people can change in very basic ways. I know this personally. I was that person everyone pointed to said, he's hopeless -- too many people are cynical bout this. Too many people believe that our basic personality is fixed by the end of our childhood.

Bullshit.

As I stated before, I see people change every day thought I cede the point that change is very hard at times. Families, friends, habitual patterns create powerful forces that act as obstacles to change. However, this does not mean change is impossible.

My fourth assumption is that we have built in resistance to change. We resist change not because we don't want to, or because we're defected, or because there's something bad about us. We resist change mostly because we don't know how to change. We cling to pain because, for many of us, staying stuck is a lot more viable than jumping off into the unknown. The patterns and situations in our lives are familiar. In order to change, we need to make a conscious, deliberate effort. If we wait for change, it will never happen and we will be doomed to the insanity of making the same actions and expecting different results.

A fifth assumption is that we have an automatic pilot approach to pain and pleasure. We spend our lives chasing pleasure and avoiding pain. The bad news is that we avoid situations that bring us pain even when doing so will bring us growth. In order to overcome our habitual pain-causing patterns, we must be willing to face painful memories that stir up trauma and difficult emotions like sadness, anxiety, guilt, and shame. Many of us would rather lose ourselves in drugs, sex, and food than to face those painful aspects of ourselves.

Another assumption of mine is that I don't believe any one technique or approach will succeed for all people. In my experience working with people and organizations, I have found that most effective approach is one that incorporates a variety of strategies. In my own work, I draw from neuro-linguistic programming, and cognitive, behavioral, experiential, inner-child, and relational techniques to help people change. I believe that the approaches should be modified to suit the individuals and not the other way around. It follows then, that if more techniques are used, then a wider range of people will benefit.

Finally, I believe that change doesn't come about unless an individual is in the process of creating a vision. Change isn't just the absence of dysfunction. We must each discover what we want to be and what we want from life. If you don't have this sense of direction in your life, then you will never change. You have to be willing to have the courage to envision a life that you want. A life in which you feel fulfilled, happy and self-actualized.

That is the first step.

Love,

Eddie