[un]Common Sense Sex Blog (Sex with Your Ex)

Hola Everybody,
I will be at a strategic planning meeting all day today and tomorrow. I had a post on sexual fantasies and their role in our psychological health, but I wasn’t able to finish it.

In light of the upcoming visit from the Ex from Boston (this weekend) and the 25-year-old now calling, sniffing around, mewling like a kitten in heat, I’m repost the following...

* * *

Sex with Your Ex

Ahhhh… you know how it is: the last kiss, fling – whatever the case may be -- we sometimes find ourselves legs entwined and more often than not confused under the sheets with an ex-lover. I was famous for this since at one time emotional investment wasn’t one of my priorities. In come cases, it still isn’t. I’m just more honest about it. And yes, I can enjoy sex for sex’ sake. I’m no breeder.

Let me say right off the bat that the bullshit line that men fuck to fuck and women make love for intimacy is bullshit. Ladies, if you have decided it’s not your preference or not within your morals to engage in sex outside a committed relationship, that’s a choice and not a biological imperative. And I’m not here to tell anybody what to do. If you want to tie it up till “The One” comes along? Hey – whatever creams your Twinkie. I personally find that I’m not compatible with such women because it’s my personal view that women who disengage from sex do so because there’s an anti-sex bias lurking underneath all that. Now ladies, don’t get your knickers all atwist: that’s my personal opinion/ experience.

I find breeder sex boring, most of the time.

Anyway, taking into consideration how people can oftentimes mistake “playing house” for real love, and feelings can get hurt – especially if you don’t have the kind mind set that can engage in sex, perhaps having sex with your ex isn’t that good of an idea.

Besides, having a fling with an ex is different than with someone else, since there’s usually some baggage. After all, he’s an ex for a reason, right?

Right?

 Still, the fact remains that whether a chance encounter or an idea germinating in that pretty little head of yours can make sex with your ex an alluring possibility – irresistible even. Even if he wasn’t the best lover, whatever spark you may have felt for your ex may start to seem compelling -- especially if you’ve “retired” the old pussy for “The One” or are on the rebound with another lover. How many of you have found yourselves with a couple of cocktails in your head, and in the heat of the moment actually consider psycho ex-boyfriend as a possibility?

Come on, now, don’t get all new on me, ladies…

And if he was the best lover you ever had and one you still daydream about, the one you fantasize about when you’re attending to your sorely neglected pussy? Then you really should forget about it. The hard fact is that having sex with your ex can be playing with fire on too many levels for it to be the right thing to do. Strong feelings will surface. You might find that you long for him in ways that will throw you for a loop. You might have to fight an overpowering lust, especially if you don’t have sex as often. (And ladies? Having sex every leap year doesn’t count as often. LOL!)

Powerful, sex-triggered hormones in your body can make you think you’re falling in love again and you will suddenly develop amnesia about the reasons why you kicked the ma’fucca to the curb in the first place. The fantasy of “happily ever after” always lurks in the background. You will be thinking of only thinking of the good times, and of course, youse guys are famous for thinking about what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been, and what might still be…

::SMACK::

Stop that! Wake the fuck up!

There is a reason, possibly several, that this trifling ma’fucca is your ex, even if it was he that broke up with you. And having sex, since you’re already sex-starved – will make you forget about those reasons. Physical intimacy, considering the overwhelming existence of the breeder mentality, will bring back feelings you think you’ve buried, which can confuse you and cause you to make decisions you will later regret. Even if you think you’re strong enough (you’re not) and removed enough from the past to have some nice sex and leave it at that, the hurts, the longings – all the baggage – will replay in your mind long after the burst of passion has gone.

The important question is: will you be able to get on with your life if this little tussle in the sack turns out to be no more than a relationship’s final curtain? Can you truly close the door – again – after opening up the Pandora’s Box (pun intended)?

If you have the slightest notion that going back to bed with your ex is going to rekindle your relationship, heal all the wounds, right all the wrongs – run (!), don’t walk.

Focus! Sex with your ex, sweetie, won’t do that. Unless he’s been doing some major work on himself and his issues, he’s likely the same trifflin’ ma’fucca he was when you guys broke up.

Love,

Eddie