[un]Common Sense Sex Blog (Swinging)

¡Hola! Everybody,
Man! The anger and bitterness expressed by people because I consciously chose to give a friend the benefit of the doubt! LOL

Now I’m a fool, less intelligent, less attractive – you name it!

People? Bitterness and lashing out as a response to a lie/ betrayal aren’t unique qualities. Almost everyone reacts that way. I will tell you this much: as long as you hold a resentment, whatever a person has done to you will be replayed in your little vindictive mind again and again.

I have forgiven and I'm ready to move on. And I never close the door, nor do I take a hard, bitter stance toward betrayal. some of you have been hurt bad. Get over it.

Relax the sphincter muscles people.

Sheesh!

I will be away at meetings for most of the day…

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Hollywood Swingin’

Last night I sat down to watch little of the new series Swingtown, but I quickly lost interest. Apparently, the series brings the practice of swinging to the American mainstream. In this piece, I used swinging, swapping, and group sex interchangeably. I know there are nuances, but I don’t want to get hung up on terminology.

Quite simply, swinging is “non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.” Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric (having a male bias) and fails to accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part. I agree.

For me, swinging is about fun and excitement in an environment of deep love and implicit trust. First, let me do away with some stereotypes right off the bat. Swingers don’t wear signs telling of their sexual activities. In fact, you may not recognize someone who swings at all. Some couples have reported going to swingers clubs, only to run into their next-door neighbors!

It is estimated that today the number of active swingers in the United States to be about five million. And don’t get it twisted: I have read at least one research study that showed a majority of swingers are conservative republicans. LOL! I am not bullshitting!

Swingers come in all shapes and sizes and genders. They can be heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. There really aren’t any restrictions. The only limitations are confined to your level of creativity.

Statistically speaking, most swingers are anywhere from their late twenties to early fifties. Many are already married and looking to take our sexual experience to the next level. In fact, I would go so far as to say that swingers often have more stable relationships than monogamous couples do.

Contrary to what you may believe, most swingers are well-groomed, well-dressed, and just your everyday man or woman.

You might already be judgmental regarding why a decent, attractive couple or single is looking to try swinging. There doesn’t seem to be a clear reason if they already have a partner to share sexual relations with. Most of the swinging couples aren’t having troubles or are looking to change their relationship; they’re actually looking to increase their intimacy. Living out fantasies of being with another person in a safe and open environment can bring greater communication and appreciation of your partner.

Experienced swingers report that even after twenty years of swinging, they are better able to talk with their partner and sort out unrelated problems than they would have been without the swinging experience.

Admit it, you’ve thought about it! And you really would love to know is what exactly happens when you’re swinging.

For the beginner swinger (or someone curious), you’ll find that you can go to a club or out with another couple and just watch the ‘festivities’ without having to participate. That’s how I was first introduced to swinging. Someone (my sister, actually) took me to a swinger's club.

If upon observing, you find you would like to participate, then you can progress to interacting with another couple or single in a safe environment (think club or a mutually chosen location). This doesn’t mean that you have to have sex, but it can involve touching and exploring another person while your partner is in the same room. As you progress onto harder swinging, there are still rules, but the parameters change, expanding.

You can go ahead and have intercourse with another person, either with or without the presence of your partner. I could go into more details, but suffice it to say that the only limitation is the boundaries of your imagination.

Essentially, swinging is experiencing sex and intimacy with another couple or person because your current relationship is strong. You want to try something new and are curious about interacting with another person, gender, or sexual arena. And at the end of the night, you still go home with your partner—more open and more committed to each other.

Swinging demands a deep honesty and commitment to open communication, in the process opening up all kinds of possibilities for a couple.

Swinging or wife swapping as it was known, is nothing new having existed in ancient custom in several cultures. Eskimo men left their wives with a neighbor when they left on prolonged hunting trips and during this time, she performed wifely duties for the neighbor. This was an essential custom in an unforgiving environment where a woman and children might not survive weeks of harsh winter alone.

The Chinese (and not too long ago, I might add) had a custom of renting out their wives when the husband had to be away for several months. If she got pregnant and delivered a child while being rented, it belonged to the man who was renting her.

The Chuckchee of North Asia practiced wife a swapping arrangement where if one of the men in a group had to some reason for visiting, the husband would fix him a bed and offer him his wife. Of course, these favors were later reciprocated and single men were rarely afforded this form of hospitality. Other cultures engaging in formalized wife swapping included certain African tribes (!! LOL!), natives of Hawaii, and Tibet. In addition, many ancient cultures had religious holidays where wife swapping or promiscuity were one of the featured attractions for the devoted worshipers.

Just after the siege on Germany during WWII, American soldiers were reported to have played the game of musical beds with local women who exchanged food for sex. Each soldier would start with a woman and then, on cue, the women would change beds in the dark and after a while, the lights would be turned back on so the couple could see with whom they were having sex.

Contemporary swingers have several options to make the experience far more enjoyable. For example, swingers have sailboats and yachts that are chartered for private parties. Groups reserve blocs of rooms on regular cruise ships. Couples lacking their own friends with whom to swap are able to attend conventions such as Lifestyles that provide opportunities for networking and travel to resorts where they can meet like-minded people. People can experience a high level of sexual energy in an environment where they are immersed in the sexual experience – where you see hear, touch, and smell others engaged in copulation.

To be continued…

Love,

Eddie