I lost my voice yesterday (barely have it back today). My voice is my money-maker -- literally. LOL! If I can’t speak, I can’t work (at least not effectively). Needless to say, I’ve done very little writing.
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-=[ Divorce Myths ]=-
We love because it is the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni
Many stereotypes about divorce that receive a lot of media attention are potentially quite harmful to men and women. I’ve listed a few of them and contrasted them with what the studies actually tell us:
Myth 1: Most Men Cheat on Their Wives.
Actually, the best designed studies indicate that nearly 80% of men report that they have never cheated on their wives!
Myth 2: Most divorcing women are rejected by their husbands.
The great majority of divorces (two thirds to three-quarters, depending on which studies you look at) are initiated by women. This makes sense since studies show that men are generally happier being married than women, they report less frustration and dissatisfaction.
Myth 3: Women bitterly regret divorce.
Most divorced women do not regret divorcing. In addition, divorced women are generally happier than divorced men. One large study suggests that that many middle-aged women become happier after their divorce. Among these women, an increased positive self-image and self-esteem were inspired by their divorce.
Myth 4: women emerge more emoptionally scarred and psychologically damaged than do men.
This is generally not true. Not only are divorced women happier than divorced men, but they are better off emotionally too. In study after study, they score higher on psychological tests that assess emotional health and well-being.
Myth 5: Ex-spouses are highly antagonistic toward one another, even to the point of acting unethically.
About half of divorced men and women describe their relationship with their ex spouse as friendly or cooperative.
Myth 6: Most divorced men remarry while most divorced women cannot.
It is true that most divorced women are less likely than divorced men to want to remarry (after all, they are happier than the men with being divorced). But both groups remarry at very high rates -- and soon. About 80% of divorced men and 75% of divorced women remarry, and most do so within three years! (who said we live in a cynical age? LOL!)
Myths such as the above offer false lessons regarding both what women and men should expect from each other and how one should behave in divorce. The truth is actually richer and contains many positive possibilities for both men and women.