The TGIF Sex Blog [Sexual Healing]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Yesterday, I went for an acupressure treatment with someone new. She’s young -- too young, I felt. Man! She did a number on me. At one point it felt as if she had grabbed my sciatica and was playing it like Jimi Hendrix -- plucking at it, kneading it, massaging it. GAWD! She asked if I wanted some acupuncture, but I don’t trust just anybody with the needles, so I declined. Still, she improved it tremendously. It still hurts badly, but I am able to walk. She told me my body is too tight -- too run down. More on that some other time… My Friday blog is all about sex!

* * *

-=[ Sexual Healing ]=-

I was with a woman once who was extremely unhappy. I didn’t fully realize this until we were together in a hotel room. I had sensed that she was unhappy, but didn’t realize the extent of her unhappiness until we spent some real time together. And it wasn’t that she acted sad or anything like that. It was an energy, a deep sadness that ran through the core of her.

Long story short, we were in the throes of passionate lovemaking when I noticed that the closer she neared orgasm, the further inside she retreated. She was there, feeling me, but she was also in her own world, a place where I didn’t exist. I slowed down my actions and spoke to her softly, wanting to bring her back to me. Lying still, I looked deeply into her eyes and forced her to make that conscious contact with me. With just a little coaching, we began to breathe together, slowing down our movements as we reconnected. I wanted her to go to that place but with me, not alone, but with me.

And that scared her…

Very gradually, we were able to reconnect and by synchronizing our breathing, becoming mindful of our bodies, we were able to move together, slower at first, but building up our movements. And eventually we went there together again and again -- building up the intensity until we both experienced a Big Wave orgasm that blew both of us out. But we did it together -- grabbing on to one another while being obliterated. It felt as if we were being transformed at a molecular level.

When we “came to” we both had tears in our eyes and she cried for a long time while I held her.

Most conversations around sex are almost always centered on pleasure and/ or protection. Public discussions about sex are generally debates over pleasure and perversion: with whom you can and can’t have sex, what you can and cannot do, when you can and cannot do it. Unfortunately, this narrow focus misses the larger purpose of sexual energy. In Eastern practices, sex is as much about physical and spiritual health, as it is about pleasure or procreation. The Taoists, for example, have long known that sexuality is as important to our overall health as it is about pleasure. The Chinese medical tradition has long known that sexuality is as important to our well-being as nutrition and exercise. Orgasm is not simply a momentary release of tension but, if cultivated carefully, a life-giving aspect of our overall health and longevity.

According to the Taoists, it is important for us to feel the arousal of our sexual energy and orgasm as often as possible -- ideally everyday. (As a side note, the Taoists cautioned against ejaculation. they discovered that male ejaculation and orgasm are two different sexual functions.)

During arousal and orgasm, our body releases sexual hormones that the Taoists literally considered the Fountain of Youth. Modern medical research is beginning to show the Taoists were on to something important, showing the enormous health benefits that sex and orgasm can offer.

In one study, breast cancer survivors who experienced orgasms through lovemaking or self-pleasuring recovered more quickly than those who did not. The most startling research suggests that sex and especially orgasms can prolong life. The British Medical Journal reported that the more orgasms men in their study had the less likely they were to die. Of the 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, those who had frequent orgasms, defined as twice a week or more, had a 50 percent lower mortality rate than those men who had infrequent orgasms, defined as less than one per month. This lower mortality rate was for death from all causes as well as death from coronary heart disease, the most common killer in the United States. In addition, there was what researchers call a “dose-response relation” -- the more often a man had sex, the less likely his chances of dying.

Chemically, we know that the hormone oxytocin and PEA, which has been called the molecule of love, both peak during orgasm. Regular sex also increases the amount of testosterone, which improves thinking and serves as antidepressant, in both men and women.

For thousands of years, Westerners have been searching for the Fountain of Youth, a search that has taken them around the world. The irony may be that the Fountain of Youth may very well be in your bedroom.

In addition, the Taoists believed that the value of sexual healing went beyond the mere physical or biochemical. In traditional Chinese medicine, health benefits occur as energy is channeled throughout the body. Western science has already documented that at the moment of orgasm, human brain wave patterns change drastically, literally putting the person into an altered state of consciousness. Deep physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the system during orgasm. The Taoists believe that partners could learn how circulate this healing energy within their own bodies and to channel it to each other.

Taoists describe a practice in which you circulate multiorgasmic energy from your genitals to your head and then down to your abdomen, which has many health benefits. This multiorgasmic energy, which can last up to 14 hours after lovemaking, nourishes your body and actually changes your brain.

Perhaps at a later time, I will describe briefly the art of Vaginal Reflexology -- vaginal massage. The vaginal canal is composed of ringed muscles with each ring corresponding to a specific part of the body. The same is true of course, with the penis. But for now, I will point out some basics for sexual healing.

Love is Healing: As far as I’m concerned, Love is god. Love is the most powerful force we know. It is my Higher Power. The emotions we bring to sex make a determine the extent its healing. If our hearts are filled with love and compassion, it is much easier to transmit healing energy to our partners. There are too many people out there full of negative emotions, especially in the realm of sex. That’s why there’s so much harm done in the name of sex. What my partner above and I experienced didn’t happen only because of technique, but because there was genuine, love and care involved. And no, we weren’t in a committed relationship and had sex only twice.

Limit Ejaculations: The Taoists noticed the depletion of energy that immediately followed male ejaculation and therefore recommended that men limit the number of ejaculations. The secret to being a multiorgasmic man lies in the ability to separate ejaculation from orgasm. The two are not the same.

Multiply Orgasms: As couples are able to multiply orgasms, they not only multiply their pleasure; they also multiply their healing energy.

Circulate Energy: the more energy an individual is able to circulate, or a couple is able to exchange (to be explained in future posts), the more healing the lovemaking will be. You first learn to circulate the energy in your own body, and eventually you will be able to exchange it with one another.

Healing Practices: use healing practices such as genital massage and health-enhancing sex positions to intensify the healing of your lovemaking.

Take Your Time: For lovemaking to be most healing, couples should engage in foreplay for at least a half hour with hugging, kissing, touching, and foreplay and then have multi-orgasmic intercourse for at least another half hour.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex really is good for you…