In Praise of the Female Ass
A woman's behind, that most unorthodox of altars meant to be worshiperd on ones knees.
The female ass, that most unorthodox of altars, to be worshiped on one’s knees.
Indeed, the ancient Greeks revered the buttocks as being an aspect of the divine and portrayed them enthusiastically in exquisitely sculpted marble. With the coming of the centuries-long Christian war on Eros, however, the depiction of the nude figure became a crime, thrown into the shadows (along with anything having to do with evolved human activities) of the repressive Dark Ages.
Then, in the fifteenth century, Renaissance artists once more raised the bottom to loftier heights only to have it once again banished by the prudish Victorians, who found the body so revolting, they considered even bathing immodest.
Today, the bottom has once again been salvaged from the repressive excesses of religiosity with dress designers now decreeing that the ass should once again be the focus of attention, and no dedicated fashionista can afford to neglect the view from the rear -- or this newfound, well-rounded appraisal of it.
Buttocks date from time immemorial. They appeared when humankind conceived the idea of standing up on their hind legs and remaining there -- one of the most crucial moments in our evolution since the buttock muscles then underwent considerable development. More importantly, this act resulted in the freeing of our ancestor’s hands and the engagement of the skull on the spinal column was modified, which in turn allowed the brain (specifically the prefrontal cortex) to develop. Therefore, it would not be wrong to point out that our buttocks were at least partially responsible for the early emergence of the brain and certainly influenced its evolution. Our asses, it follows, freed our minds.
Of all the existing primates only the human species possesses hemispherical buttocks which project prominently from the body. Other primates have been described as “apes with flat buttocks.” Which is to make a mockery of the ass. Therefore, the emergence of the buttocks coincides with the erect stance and walking on two legs which, according to anthropologists, goes back three or four million years.
The fact remains, of course, that our ancestor’s buttocks did not resemble ours simply because they stood upright. Much time and evolution would have to transpire before hairy and not so noticeable buttocks would’ve evolved into the naked, smooth, and soft buttocks that we love so much today.
When a female ape wanted to send a “sexual signal” to a mate, she showed him her hind quarters. This is an interesting note for many of the female of the species of ape possess bottoms which light up, becoming bright red and swollen as the time of ovulation approaches. And rutting generally occurs when the females display their organs in the state of maximum dilation. With the human female it is quite different. Her bottom does not swell with the menstrual cycle: it remains permanently protuberant (swollen). And therein lies just one of the many beauties of the female behind: she is always ready for the male and can mate even when she cannot concieve. This last fact has been a thorn in the side of Christians for a very long time.
From an aesthetic perspective, there is probably no more pleasing architecture than a woman’s behind in all its glory. The convex/ concave contrast between the subtle flaring of an impossibly slim waist flaring into the well-rounded twin orbs of female posterior flesh cannot be found elsewhere. Then there is the cleft -- mysterious, dark, the gateway to sin itself. And if one were to explore more closely, one could grasp a glimpse of the fleshy lips of a moist and receptive vagina. It is no wonder why a woman’s ass -- thrown upwards into the air, naked and vulnerable -- is one of the most erotic and subversive of human acts.