The Friday Sex Blog [Openning the Heart]

Hola mi gente,
I’m taking a break from politics today… 

A long time ago, a man in charge of ringing the bells at a nearby church for years would play the opening notes to My Cherie Amor every Sunday. One day I tracked the man down and asked him why. He explained he rang the bells in that way because it was the song he dedicated to his now deceased wife when they first met. After being uprooted from my community for years, I returned to find that the bells no longer rang. When I inquired, I discovered that the man had passed away and no one else knew how to ring the bells.

Opening Your Heart

You can outrun that which is running after you,
but not what is running inside you.
-- Rwandan proverb

According to ancient wisdom, the Anahata Chakra, more commonly known as the Heart Chakra, balances the world of matter (lower three chakras) with the world of spirit (upper three chakras). The Sanskrit word implies that deep beneath our personal stories of suffering and pain lies boundless love and compassion. 

According to this map of the mind/ body, signs you may be blocked include feelings of shyness and loneliness. If you have an inability to forgive or a tendency to lack empathy, then you may be leading with your head more often than your heart. On the other hand, an overpowering chakra can include feelings of codependency, and looking outward for acceptance or fulfillment. Intense jealousy or harsh judgment of others is also a red flag.

If you fall into the blocked category, figuring out how to find balance really boils down to repressed emotions. Whether it's a traumatic event stemming from childhood that you can't even remember, or a grudge you're holding so tightly from a recent incident. When you repress your feelings, your balance gets out of whack.

I realize many of my readers, especially Marxist materialists (LOL) probably view teachings such as the chakras a scam. I won’t get into a defense of that right now because -- shit, you’re gonna believe what you’re gonna believe. In any case, the goal of this post is to explore experiential methods we can use to effect change.

I feel in order for lasting change to come about there has to be a how: actual exercises we can implement that can bring about a change in our mental software. It has been my observation that as humans we follow scripts, some of which were written generations ago, and they often cause much pain. So today I'm going to offer you an exercise. I try to offer experiential exercises because people think too fuckin' much. What I mean to say is that people confuse being overly analytical with “rational.” In fact, many of us are tyrannized by thinking most of the time. So I try to offer basic exercises you have to experience in order to begin moving you away from thinking and toward the experience of change.

See? You're already thinking. Sheeesh! Shut up! LOL

Okay! Ready? Breathe… 

Pretend you are going to kill the next person you see. I want you to try to feel this in your body. Imagine that you are really going to kill this person. How do you feel inside?

Now, imagine that you are going to have sex with the next person you see. Again, how do you feel inside? What are the physical manifestations?

Bear with me for one last time: Pretend you are going to save the life of the next person you see, but in doing so your own life will end. Imagine you are going to die as a result of saving this person's life. How do you feel inside?

Now, answer this question: which imagined action -- killing, having sex, or saving while dying -- most feels like liberation, freedom, and unbound love?

My question to you is why would you intentionally hold anything in your mind, except that which most opens your heart and soul so that others may benefit from it?

Now, if you followed my instructions correctly, I may have just fucked up your constriction. Now you know. From now on, the choice is yours. When you find yourself imagining something that results in you feeling less open, simply imagine whatever most opens you. It is that fuckin simple, believe it or not.

This is the first step that helps you get off the merry-go-round of living those painful scripts -- those childhood neurological imprints on your psyche. It might help to remember my fave “equation”:

constriction = hate/ love = openness.

This is the beginning of replacing habits that bring constriction with habits that bring openness. The other step is to hang out as awareness in space, maintaining openness without support; being openness without effort or intention. At this point, if you haven't done the exercises and just tried to think about them, you will not understand what I have written here. So go back and do them now. Not later, but now. 

Remember the feeling that most opens you? Perhaps it was saving your best friend's or your child's life. Whatever feeling most opens you, allow this feeling to dissolve into an awareness of openness, like a swirl dissolving in water. Let go of any effort to imagine anything, just be that feeling.

Another moment will come and you might find yourself once again reacting to something -- perhaps a rude driver -- that constricts you, if even a little bit. What do you do? What can you do?

First, consciously visualize or feel whatever opens your heart, softens your body, and relaxes your mind. For example, you can visualize making passionate love with a superior lover, your bodies entwined in emanations of light. Then allow this visualization to dissolve into an authentic feeling, like an ocean of openness, alive and real as this bright moment.

This is a way to replace unloving (constricted) mind formulations with loving ones. With time and practice you will be able to allow all mind forms to relax open as love's clear light. Repeat this two step process whenever you happen to notice that you're closing up, so that openness becomes the default state in every moment that you are conscious of. 

This is the practice of opening your heart and throwing away the old scripts -- of undoing the deeply ingrained childhood imprints that force you to sabotage your life. Many of you say you want to be loved, but as long as you're closed, you will wait forever to be loved.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

Sunday Sermon [Opening Your Heart]

Hola mi Gente,

At a church in the neighborhood I grew up in, the man in charge of ringing the bells for Sunday mass for years would play the opening notes to Stevie Wonder’s My Cherie Amor (“la la laaa, la la laa...”). I once tracked the man down and asked him why. He said he played it because it was the song he dedicated to his now deceased wife when they first met. Returning to the neighborhoods after being away for some years, the bells no longer rang and when I looked, I discovered that the man had passed away and no one else knew how to ring the bells... 

* * *

Openness

You can outrun that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.

-- Rwandan proverb

Anybody who knows me knows how I feel about the majority of self-help books out there. It’s not that I don’t like them as much as I feel that they don’t offer actual ways to change -- hows. Some books are good at identifying a problem and offering insights. And while I cannot deny the importance of insight, that and $2.50 will get you on the train. Other self-help books deal with specific issues that are not transferable to other issues.

I feel in order for real change to come about there has to be a how: actual exercises we can practice that can bring about a change in our mental software. It is a lot like an exercise program. I call it this approach to change Happiness Crosstraining. A major reason why many of us find ourselves stuck in ruts is that we follow scripts that were handed down to us. In fact, some of these scripts were written generations ago and have little to do with who we are and they often cause much pain. So today I'm going to offer you an exercise in order to counter your script. I try to offer experiential exercises because you people think too fuckin' much. In fact, most of you are tyrannized by thinking most of the time. So I try to offer basic exercises you have to experience in order to begin moving you away from thinking.

See?! You're already thinking! Sheesh! Shut up already!

Okay! Ready? Breathe… relax yourself and… 

Pretend you are going to kill the next person you see. I want you to try to feel this in your body. Imagine that you are really going to kill this person. How do you feel (not how you think you feel) inside? What are the bodily sensations you are feeling?

Now, imagine that you are going to have sex with the next person you see. Again, how do you feel (not how you think you feel) inside?

Bear with me for one last exercise: Pretend you are going to save the life of the next person you see, but in doing so your own life will end. Imagine you are going to die as a result of saving this person's life. How do you feel inside (feel)?

Now, answer the following question: which imagined action -- killing, having sex, or saving while dying -- most feels like liberation, freedom, and unbound love?

Which one feels most like freedom? Got it?

My challenge to you is why would you intentionally hold anything in your mind, except that which most opens your heart and soul so that others may benefit from it?

If you did the exercises, I have just fucked up your defensive wall. Now you know. From now on, the choice is yours. When you find yourself imagining something that results in you feeling less open, simply imagine whatever most opens you. It is that fuckin simple, believe it or not.

This is the first step that helps you get off the merry-go-round of living and reliving all those painful scripts -- those childhood imprints on your psyche. I use a simple equation that helps me remember:

constriction = hate/ love = openness.

This is the beginning of replacing habits that bring constriction with habits that cultivate openness. The other practice is to live your life as awareness in space, maintaining openness without support; being openness without effort or intention. At this point, if you haven’t done the exercises and just tried to think about them, you will not understand my message. So go back and do them now. Not later, but now.

Can you remember the feeling that most opens you? Perhaps it was saving your best friend’s or your child’s life. Whatever feeling most opens you, allow this feeling to dissolve into an awareness of openness, like a swirl dissolving in water. Let go of any effort to imagine anything, just be that feeling.

Another moment will come (perhaps a rude driver will cut you off, someone on the subway will jostle you) and you might find yourself once again thinking of something that constricts you, if even a little bit. What do you do? What can you do?

First, consciously visualize or feel whatever opens your heart, soften your body, and relax your mind. For example, you can visualize making passionate love with a superior lover, your bodies entwined in emanations of light.

Then allow this visualization to dissolve into an authentic feeling, like an ocean of openness, alive and real as this bright moment.

This is a way to replace unloving (constricted) mind formulations (that often arise from hand-me-down scripts) with loving (open) ones. At first, this exercise might feel ineffective or even silly to you. But with time and practice you will be able to allow all mind forms to relax open as love’s clear light. Repeat this two-step process of visualizing openness and then applying it whenever you happen to notice that you’re closing up. In this way, openness becomes your default state in every conscious moment.

This is the practice of opening your heart and throwing away the old scripts -- of undoing the deeply ingrained childhood imprints that force you to sabotage your life. Many of you say you want to be loved, but as long as you’re closed, you will wait forever to be loved.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

Labels: contraction, hate, love, openness, spirituality, change, evolutionary spirituality, tantra

The Friday Sex Blog [Opening Your Heart]

¡Hola! Everybody...

A long time ago, the man in charge of ringing the bells at a nearby church for years would play the opening notes to My Cherie Amor ("la la laaa, la la laa... ") every Sunday. I once tracked the man down and asked him why. He explained he played it because it was the song he dedicated to his now deceased wife when they first met. After returning after being away for many years, the bells no longer rang and when I investigated, I discovered that the man had passed away and no one else knew how to ring the bells...

* * *

You can outrun that which is running after you,
but not what is running inside you.
-- Rwandan proverb

For real change to come about there has to be a how. There has to be a set of actual exercises we can implement that can bring about a change in our mental software. People, we follow scripts, some of which were written generations ago, and they often cause much pain. So today I'm going to offer you an exercise. I try to offer experiential exercises because people think too fuckin' much! In fact, most of you are tyrannized by thinking most of the time. So I try to offer basic exercises you have to experience in order to begin moving you away from thinking.

See?!! You're already thinking! Sheeesh! Shut up!

Okay... Breathe! Ready?

Pretend you are going to kill the next person you see. I want you to try to feel this in your body. Imagine that you are really going to kill this person. How does this make you feel (not think) inside?

Now, imagine that you are going to have sex with the next person you see. Again, how do you feel inside?

Bear with me: Now pretend you are going to save the life of the next person you see, but in doing so your own life will end. Imagine you are going to die as a result of saving this person's life. How does this make you feel inside?

Now... answer this question: which imagined action -- killing, having sex, or saving while dying -- most feels like liberation, freedom, and unbound love?

My challenge to you today is why would you intentionally hold anything in your mind, except that which most opens your heart and soul so that others may benefit from it?

I have just fucked up your constriction. Now you know. From now on, the choice is yours. When you find yourself imagining something that results in you feeling less open, simply imagine whatever most opens you. It is that fuckin simple, believe it or not.

This is the first step that helps you get off the merry-go-round of living those painful scripts -- those childhood imprints on your psyche. Remember the equation I wrote not too long ago:

constriction = hate/ love = openness.

This is the beginning of the conscious act of replacing habits that bring constriction with habits that bring openness. The other part is to hang out as awareness in space, maintaining openness without support; being openness without effort or intention. At this point, if you haven't done the exercises and just tried to think about them, you will not understand. So go back and do them now. Not later, but now.

Remember the feeling that most opens you? Perhaps it was saving your best friend's or your child's life. Whatever feeling most opens you, allow this feeling to dissolve into an awareness of openness, like a swirl dissolving in water. Let go of any effort to imagine anything, instead just be that feeling.

Another moment will come and you might come up against an event (perhaps a rude driver) that has you once again thinking of something that constricts you, if even a little bit. What do you do? What can you do?

First, consciously visualize or feel whatever opens your heart, softens your body, and relaxes your mind. For example, you can visualize making passionate love with a superior lover, your bodies entwined in emanations of light.

Then allow this visualization to dissolve into an authentic feeling, like an ocean of openness, alive and as real as this bright moment. In fact, if you have someone in your life that you trust, you can combine this visualizing with certain sex practices that speed up or facilitate the opening process.

This is a way to replace unloving (constricted) mind formulations with loving (open) ones. With time and practice you will be able to allow all mind forms to relax open as love's clear light. Repeat this two step process whenever you happen to notice that you're closing up, so that openness becomes the default state in your every conscious moment.

This is the practice of opening your heart and throwing away the old scripts -- of undoing the deeply ingrained childhood imprints that oftentimes force you to sabotage your life. Many of you say you want to be loved, but as long as you're closed, you will wait forever to be loved.

My Name is Eddie and I'm in recovery from civilization...

Sunday Sermon [Opening Your Heart]

¡Hola! Everybody...
At a church in my neighborhood of origin, the man in charge of ringing the bells for years would play the opening notes to Stevie Wonder’s My Cherie Amor every Sunday (“la la laaa, la la laa...”). I once tracked the man down and asked him why. He said he played it because it was the song he dedicated to his deceased wife when they first met. Returning to the neighborhoods after being away for some years, the bells no longer rang and when I investigated, I discovered that the man had passed away and no one else knew how to ring the bells...

* * *

-=[ Openness ]=-

You can outrun that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.

-- Rwandan proverb

Anybody who knows me knows how I feel about the majority of self-help books out there. It’s not that I don’t like them as much as I feel that they don’t offer actual ways to change -- hows. Some books are good at identifying a problem and offering insights. And while I won’t deny the importance of insight, that and $2.50 will get you on the train. Other books deal with specific issues that are not transferable to other issues.

I feel in order for real change to come about there has to be a how: exercises we can implement that can bring about a change in our mental software. It’s a lot like an exercise program. I call it the Happiness Crosstrainer. We follow scripts, people, some of which were written generations ago, and they often cause much pain. So today I'm going to offer you an exercise. I try to offer experiential exercises because you people think too fuckin' much. In fact, most of you are tyrannized by thinking most of the time. So I try to offer basic exercises you have to experience in order to begin moving you away from thinking.

See?!! You're already thinking! Sheeesh!

Shut up!

Okay! Ready? Breathe… relax yourself and…

Pretend you are going to kill the next person you see. I want you to try to feel this in your body. Imagine that you are really going to kill this person. How do you feel (not how you think you feel) inside?

Now, imagine that you are going to have sex with the next person you see. Again, how do you feel (not how you think you feel) inside?

Bear with me for one last exercise: Pretend you are going to save the life of the next person you see, but in doing so your own life will end. Imagine you are going to die as a result of saving this person's life. How do you feel inside (feel)?

Now, answer the following question: which imagined action -- killing, having sex, or saving while dying -- most feels like liberation, freedom, and unbound love?

Which one feels most like freedom? Got it?

My challenge to you is why would you intentionally hold anything in your mind, except that which most opens your heart and soul so that others may benefit from it?

If you did the exercises, I have just fucked up your defensive wall. Now you know. From now on, the choice is yours. When you find yourself imagining something that results in you feeling less open, simply imagine whatever most opens you. It is that fuckin simple, believe it or not.

This is the first step that helps you get off the merry-go-round of living and reliving all those painful scripts -- those childhood imprints on your psyche. Remember the equation I wrote not too long ago:

constriction = hate/ love = openness.

This is the beginning of replacing habits that bring constriction with habits that cultivates openness. The other practice is to live your life as awareness in space, maintaining openness without support; being openness without effort or intention. At this point, if you haven’t done the exercises and just tried to think about them, you will not understand my message. So go back and do them now. Not later, but now.

Can you remember the feeling that most opens you? Perhaps it was saving your best friend’s or your child’s life. Whatever feeling most opens you, allow this feeling to dissolve into an awareness of openness, like a swirl dissolving in water. Let go of any effort to imagine anything, just be that feeling.

Another moment will come (perhaps a rude driver will cut you off) and you might find yourself once again thinking of something that constricts you, if even a little bit. What do you do? What can you do?

First, consciously visualize or feel whatever opens your heart, softens your body, and relax your mind. For example, you can visualize making passionate love with a superior lover, your bodies entwined in emanations of light.

Then allow this visualization to dissolve into an authentic feeling, like an ocean of openness, alive and real as this bright moment.

This is a way to replace unloving (constricted) mind formulations with loving (open) ones. At first, this exercise might feel ineffective or even silly to you. But with time and practice you will be able to allow all mind forms to relax open as love’s clear light. Repeat this two step process of visualizing openness and then applying it whenever you happen to notice that you’re closing up. In this way, openness becomes your default state in every moment that you are conscious of.

This is the practice of opening your heart and throwing away the old scripts -- of undoing the deeply ingrained childhood imprints that force you to sabotage your life. Many of you say you want to be loved, but as long as you’re closed, you will wait forever to be loved.

Love,

Eddie

Sunday Sermon [Opening Your Heart]

¡Hola Everybody!
A long time ago, the man in charge of ringing the bells at a nearby church for years would play the opening notes to My Cherie Amor ("la la laaa, la la laa... ") every Sunday. I once tracked the man down and asked him why. He explained he played it because it was the song he dedicated to his now deceased wife when they first met. After returning after being away for many years, the bells no longer rang and when I investigated, I discovered that the man had passed away and no one else knew how to ring the bells...

* * *

-=[ Opening Your Heart ]=-

"You can outrun that which is running after you,
but not what is running inside you."
-- Rwandan proverb

I left off my Thursday relationship blog on a cliffhanger, promising to offer a way out of the merry-go-round. Today's blog is a preamble to that answer. Anybody who has read me knows how I feel about the majority of self-help books out there. It's not that I don't like them as much as I feel that they don't offer actual hows. Some books are good at identifying a problem and offering insights. And??? Other books deal with specific issues that are not transferable to other issues. Duh???

I feel in order for real change to come about there has to be a how: actual exercises we can implement that can bring about a change in our mental software. We follow scripts, people, some of which were written generations ago, and they often cause much pain. So today I'm going to offer you an exercise. I try to offer experiential exercises because you people think too fuckin' much! In fact, most of you are tyrannized by thinking most of the time. So I try to offer basic exercises you have to experience in order to begin moving you away from thinking.

See?!! You're already thinking! Sheeesh!

Shut up!

Okay! Ready? Breathe!

Pretend you are going to kill the next person you see. I want you to try to feel this in your body. Imagine that you are really going to kill this person. How do you feel inside?

Now, imagine that you are going to have sex with the next person you see. Again, how do you feel inside?

Bear with me for one last exercise: Pretend you are going to save the life of the next person you see, but in doing so your own life will end. Imagine you are going to die as a result of saving this person's life. How do you feel inside?

Now, answer this question: which imagined action -- killing, having sex, or saving while dying -- most feels like liberation, freedom, and unbound love?

My question to you is why would you intentionally hold anything in your mind, except that which most opens your heart and soul so that others may benefit from it?

I have just fucked up your constriction. Now you know. From now on, the choice is yours. When you find yourself imagining something that results in you feeling less open, simply imagine whatever most opens you. It is that fuckin simple, believe it or not.

This is the first step that helps you get off the merry-go-round of living those painful scripts -- those childhood imprints on your psyche. Remember the equation I wrote not too long ago:

constriction = hate/ love = openness.

This is the beginning of replacing habits that bring constriction with habits that bring openness. The other step is to hang out as awareness in space, maintaining openness without support; being openness without effort or intention. At this point, if you haven't done the exercises and just tried to think about them, you will not understand what I am attempting to communicate. so go back and do them now. Not later, but now.

Remember the feeling that most opens you? Perhaps it was saving your best friend's or your child's life. Whatever feeling most opens you, allow this feeling to dissolve into an awareness of openness, like a swirl dissolving in water. Let go of any effort to imagine anything, just be that feeling.

Another moment will come and you might find yourself once again thinking of something -- perhaps a rude driver -- that constricts you, if even a little bit. What do you do? What can you do?

First, consciously visualize or feel whatever opens your heart, softens your body, and relaxes your mind. For example, you can visualize making passionate love with a superior lover, your bodies entwined in emanations of light.

Then allow this visualization to dissolve into an authentic feeling, like an ocean of openness, alive and real as this bright moment.

This is a way to replace unloving (constricted) mind formulations with loving ones. With time and practice you will be able to allow all mind forms to relax open as love's clear light. Repeat this two step process whenever you happen to notice that you're closing up, so that openness becomes the default state in every moment that you are conscious of.

This is the practice of opening your heart and throwing away the old scripts -- of undoing the deeply ingrained childhood imprints that force you to sabotage your life. Many of you say you want to be loved, but as long as you're closed, you will wait forever to be loved.

Love,

Eddie