Hola mi Gente,
At a church in the neighborhood I grew
up in, the man in charge of ringing the bells for Sunday mass for years would
play the opening notes to Stevie Wonder’s My
Cherie Amor (“la la laaa, la la laa...”). I once tracked the man down and
asked him why. He said he played it because it was the song he dedicated to his
now deceased wife when they first met. Returning to the neighborhoods after
being away for some years, the bells no longer rang and when I looked, I
discovered that the man had passed away and no one else knew how to ring the
bells...
* * *
Openness
You can outrun that which is running after
you, but not what is running inside you.
-- Rwandan proverb
Anybody
who knows me knows how I feel about the majority of self-help books out there.
It’s not that I don’t like them as much as I feel that they don’t offer actual ways
to change -- hows. Some books are good at identifying a problem and offering
insights. And while I cannot deny the importance of insight, that and $2.50
will get you on the train. Other self-help books deal with specific issues that
are not transferable to other issues.
I
feel in order for real change to come about there has to be a how: actual exercises
we can practice that can bring about a change in our mental software. It is a
lot like an exercise program. I call it this approach to change Happiness
Crosstraining. A major reason why many of us find ourselves stuck in ruts is
that we follow scripts that were handed down to us. In fact, some of these
scripts were written generations ago and have little to do with who we are and
they often cause much pain. So today I'm going to offer you an exercise in
order to counter your script. I try to offer experiential exercises
because you people think too fuckin' much. In fact, most of you are tyrannized
by thinking most of the time. So I try to offer basic exercises you have to experience
in order to begin moving you away from thinking.
See?!
You're already thinking! Sheesh! Shut up already!
Okay!
Ready? Breathe… relax yourself and…
Pretend
you are going to kill the next person you see. I want you to try to feel this
in your body. Imagine that you are really going to kill this person. How do you
feel (not how you think you feel) inside? What are the bodily
sensations you are feeling?
Now,
imagine that you are going to have sex with the next person you see. Again, how
do you feel (not how you think you feel) inside?
Bear
with me for one last exercise: Pretend you are going to save the life of the
next person you see, but in doing so your own life will end. Imagine you are
going to die as a result of saving this person's life. How do you feel inside (feel)?
Now,
answer the following question: which imagined action -- killing, having sex, or
saving while dying -- most feels like liberation, freedom, and unbound love?
Which
one feels most like freedom? Got it?
My
challenge to you is why would you intentionally hold anything in your mind,
except that which most opens your heart and soul so that others may benefit
from it?
If
you did the exercises, I have just fucked up your defensive wall. Now you know.
From now on, the choice is yours. When you find yourself imagining something
that results in you feeling less open, simply imagine whatever most opens you. It
is that fuckin simple, believe it or not.
This
is the first step that helps you get off the merry-go-round of living and
reliving all those painful scripts -- those childhood imprints on your psyche. I
use a simple equation that helps me remember:
constriction = hate/ love = openness.
This
is the beginning of replacing habits that bring constriction with habits that
cultivate openness. The other practice is to live your life as awareness in
space, maintaining openness without support; being openness without
effort or intention. At this point, if you haven’t done the exercises and just
tried to think about them, you will not understand my message. So go
back and do them now. Not later, but now.
Can
you remember the feeling that most opens you? Perhaps it was saving your best
friend’s or your child’s life. Whatever feeling most opens you, allow this
feeling to dissolve into an awareness of openness, like a swirl dissolving in
water. Let go of any effort to imagine anything, just be that feeling.
Another
moment will come (perhaps a rude driver will cut you off, someone on the subway
will jostle you) and you might find yourself once again thinking of something
that constricts you, if even a little bit. What do you do? What can you do?
First,
consciously visualize or feel whatever opens your heart, soften your body, and
relax your mind. For example, you can visualize making passionate love with a
superior lover, your bodies entwined in emanations of light.
Then
allow this visualization to dissolve into an authentic feeling, like an ocean
of openness, alive and real as this bright moment.
This
is a way to replace unloving (constricted) mind formulations (that often arise
from hand-me-down scripts) with loving (open) ones. At first, this exercise
might feel ineffective or even silly to you. But with time and practice you
will be able to allow all mind forms to relax open as love’s clear light.
Repeat this two-step process of visualizing openness and then applying it
whenever you happen to notice that you’re closing up. In this way, openness
becomes your default state in every conscious moment.
This
is the practice of opening your heart and throwing away the old scripts -- of
undoing the deeply ingrained childhood imprints that force you to sabotage your
life. Many of you say you want to be loved, but as long as you’re closed, you
will wait forever to be loved.
My
name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…
Labels: contraction, hate, love, openness,
spirituality, change, evolutionary spirituality, tantra
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