Hola
mi Gente,
One
of the hardest tasks in blog writing is staying current. I’m in the process of
writing a post on the biological hate crime leading to the lead poisoning of
thousands of mostly Black children that occurred in Flint, MI. However, as
I have mentioned even before all the attention, lead poisoning isn't isolated to
Flint.. Environmental racism creates "lead belts" in inner cities
(really Ghettos consisting of majority Black and Latin@) children) across the
land. I'm in the process of writing a piece on this, so stay tuned.
Today is Friday and it’s all about sex…
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Sleep Sex
Someone
once submitted a question that piqued my interest. I have to admit that I really
didn’t know much about this...
I've been seeing this guy for several months now, and we’ve moved to the point in our relationship where we spend the night almost every night. I adore him. He warned me when he first started sleeping over that he “can get goofy” when he’s sleeping -- meaning sleep talking, etc. One night, we were spooning and we fell asleep and I woke up because he was kissing and licking my neck... touching me, and I of course, responded positively and then he stopped. I fell back to sleep. The next morning, I mentioned it, and he had absolutely no recollection of the event. A few nights later, the same thing, only this time, we went further.
It kept on like this and I’d mention it and he wouldn't remember. Sometimes, he’d wake up when things went further and we’d have sex. I just rolled with it. It doesn’t bother me. Once it did get kinda scary, he was overly aggressive -- by aggressive I mean, he tears at my clothing yanks my PJ's off, pins my arms, holds me down -- and I couldn’t wake him. I kept pulling at him and trying to wake him up and he just was not responding. I started to panic, and yelling and he finally woke up. Fortunately for him, I like to be manhandled a little bit.
Since then, I just have learned how to wake him if I'm not in the mood, but honestly, nine times out of ten, I just go with it, and he wakes up and we have amazing sex in the middle of the night. I finally did a little research and found a few sites that talk about Sexsomnia. I know that some people can feel violated by being with someone who does this, in some cases have pressed rape charges. I don't find it violating. I think it's exciting, quite frankly. I like it. Is this unusual? I am anxious to see if anyone else has experience with it.
*
* *
First
off, I want to say that I just fell in love with you!
Let
me share a little about me. One time during a family reunion, the house was
full and I ended up having to sleep with some family members. I was awakened in
the middle of the night because my a cousin was screaming at me. Apparently, I
was humping on her. I was asleep, I swear! To this day, I still get ribbed for
that. The same happened one time with another family and I think I almost
violated one of my brother-in-laws, not sure. Needless to say, no one in my
family likes to sleep with me!
While
it seems I have a tendency to hump anything near me during sleep, I have never,
however, experienced what you describe. After some research, I have found that it
seems your lover suffers from a form of sleep disorder that falls under the
category of non-rapid eye movement (NREM) parasomnia -- similar to sleep
walking or sleep eating (yes, you read that right). Also called sleep sex or
sexsomnia, it is a medical condition that causes people to commit sexual acts
while they are asleep. The proposed medical diagnosis is NREM Arousal
Parasomnia -- Sexual Behavior in Sleep, and is considered a variation of
sleepwalking/ confusional arousals.
There
are varying degrees of this condition and it seems to me your boyfriend is at
the extreme end. In Australia, for example, a woman was reported as leaving her
house at night and having sex with strangers while sleepwalking. In one case, a
man tried to strangle his wife. A teenage child in the home heard the
disturbance and called the police. One man, who had repeatedly experienced
periods of violent masturbation that left bruising or soreness, reported
breaking two fingers trying to escape from restraints he had used to prevent
the behavior.
Sexsomnia
is not always problematic or extreme for those who experience it or for their
partners. There is a great variety in both the frequency and levels to which
people are affected by this disorder. For years, researchers have suspected
that violent behavior during sleep is a sleep-related disorder, but there was
no body of research to support this. Although these cases sound psychological
in origin, scientists believe the underlying problem relates to sleep. Rather
than quietly passing through the five phases of sleep -- each of which has a
classic brain-wave pattern -- those suffering from sexsomnia have unusual
patterns during one of the sleep phases or short interruptions in their sleep.
Sound and video recordings of the patients show that the sleep-sex behavior
takes place during these hiccups in the sleep cycle. Most people who suffer
from sexsomnia also have a history of walking in their sleep.
Sufferers
are usually aware of their behavior and in some cases go for a long time before
they seek help, often because they lack information that it is a medical
disorder or for fear that others will judge it as willful behavior rather than
a medical condition. I would strongly suggest you tell your boyfriend to seek
treatment, as the condition is easily controlled with minimal effort. There is
always the danger that he could sexually violate or harm someone without being
conscious of it. I’ve listed some resources below. Personally speaking, I love
it that you go with the flow as I also find it amazingly erotic. However, I can
understand that some may feel it to be a violation of some sort.
My
name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization.
Resources
There
are sleep
centers all over the states. Sleep disorders are more common
than we once thought, and your boyfriend can get diagnosed treated, sometimes
even for free (it’s a field that loves the research). Click here
to find a sleep center near you.
The
American Academy of Sleep Science is a great resource on all things about sleep
(click here).
Click
here if you've ever suffered from sexsomnia and want to
participate in an online survey (it's anonymous and information helps).
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