Sunday Sermon [The Three Questions]

Hola Everybody,
Story time!

The Three Questions

Anthony Quinn in Zorba the Greek

The following is adapted from a collection of short stories written by Leo (War and Peace) Tolstoy.

Back in the day, there lived an emperor who searched for a philosophy of life. He realized he needed wisdom to guide him and how he ruled. None of the religions and philosophies of the time satisfied him, so he searched for a philosophy that was rooted in the experience of life.

After much reflection he came to the realization that he required answers to only three basic questions. With the answers to those three questions, he concluded, he would have all the guidance he needed. The three questions were as follows:

• When is the most important time?
• Who is the most important person?
• What is the most important thing to do?

His quest led to a long search which takes up most of the original story, but eventually he finds the three answers when he encounters a hermit. What do you think the answers are? Look at the questions again, and pause before you read on… 

We all know the answer to the first question, but it’s so obvious that oftentimes we forget it. The most important time is now, of course. It’s the only time we have. Even in love, the only time we have is now. Love in the past is but a memory and love in the future is a mere fantasy. We can only love in the now. Why is this important, or what relevance does this have? Well, for one, if you want to tell a loved one how much you really love them, you should do it now. Not tomorrow. Not in five minutes. Now. Five minutes may be too late. If you need to make amends, don’t start thinking about all the reasons why you shouldn’t, or dwell on self-righteousness, or concoct reasons why you shouldn’t. Just do it now. The opportunity may not come again and you’ll be whining about how you didn’t seize the moment when you had the chance.

The answer to the second question is a little harder and profound. Very few people get this one right. When I first read the answer, it blew me away. The answer rips through the question in a way I never before understood or imagined. The answer is that the most important person is the one you’re with.

My work involves listening to people deeply. It entails me being present in a way that’s sometimes exhausting because I’m listening on levels hardly ever utilized. In order for me to be able to listen in this manner, I have to have complete unconditional regard for the person. Listening, believe it or not, is a powerful healing mechanism. Have you ever been with someone who gave you their total attention? Do you remember how that feels?

Communication and love can only be shared with the person you are with, no matter who they are. The person you are with is the most important person in the world. People can feel that kind of attention. They respond.

A common complaint among married couples is that they feel their partner doesn’t really listen to them. In a way, what that means is that they feel that their partner doesn’t make them feel valued anymore. If people actually were more present with their loved ones, divorce lawyers would become a dying breed. I should add that, for a substantial part of your life, you are by yourself. Then, the most important person, the one you are with, is you!

The answer to the emperor’s last question, “What is the most important thing to do?” is care. To care means bringing together being careful and caring. What does it mean to care?

Well, for me to care means compassion. If compassion can be represented by a dove (as it often is), then the wings of the dove are wisdom. Without wisdom compassion cannot soar. I always find it funny that in the Buddhist tradition, they differentiate between compassion and stupid compassion. To illustrate, I’ll share another story I heard at a retreat once. A woman had spent three months a loving-kindness retreat. Metta, a form of loving-kindness mediation intended to opening the heart, is very intense and liberating. Well shortly after leaving the retreat, this woman was attacked by a man in a dark alleyway. Luckily, her screams were heard by passerby who came to her rescue.

The incident really shook her and she wondered about all that loving-kindness practice. She went to her teacher and related the incident to her, hoping to get some guidance. Her teacher asked her, “Weren’t you carrying an umbrella?” (the incident occurred during the monsoon season). The woman responded that yes she was carrying an umbrella. Her teacher smiled and told her, “Then you should’ve taken your umbrella, and with all the compassion in your heart, hit your assailant over the head repeatedly.”

That’s wise compassion and maybe that’s what’s meant by saying that the most import thing to do, right now, this very moment, is to care.

So, to sum up today’s sermon…

• When is the most important moment? Now
• Who is the most important person? The person you are with.
• What is the most important thing to do? To care.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

Sunday Sermon [The Three Questions]

Hola Everybody,
Story time!

* * *

The Three Question

The following is adapted from a collection of short stories written by Leo (War and Peace) Tolstoy.

Back in the day, there lived an emperor who searched for a philosophy of life. He realized he needed wisdom to guide him and how he ruled. None of the religions and philosophies of the time satisfied him, so he searched for a philosophy that was rooted in the experience of life.

After much thought, he came to the realization that he required answers to only three basic questions. With the answers to those three questions, he concluded, he would have all the guidance he needed. The three questions were as follows:

• When is the most important time?
• Who is the most important person?
• What is the most important thing to do?

His quest led to a long search which takes up most of the original story, but eventually he finds the three answers when he encounters a hermit. What do you think the answers are? Look at the questions again, and pause before you read on…

We all know the answer to the first question, but it’s so obvious that oftentimes we forget it all the time. The most important time is now, of course. It’s the only time we have. Even in love, the only time we have is now. Love in the past is but a memory and love in the future is a mere fantasy. We can only love in the now. Why is this important, or what relevance does this have? Well, for one, if you want to tell a loved one how much you really love them, you should do it now. Not tomorrow. Not in five minutes. Now. Five minutes may be too late. If you need to make amends, don’t start thinking about all the reasons why you shouldn’t, or dwell on self-righteousness, or concoct reasons why you shouldn’t. Just do it now. The opportunity may not come again and you’ll be whining about how you didn’t seize the moment when you had the chance.

The answer to the second question is a little harder and profound. Very few people get this one right. When I first read the answer, it blew me away. The answer rips through the question in a way I never understood or imagined. The answer is that the most important person is the one you’re with.

My work involves listening to people deeply. It entails me being present in a way that’s sometimes exhausting because I’m listening on levels hardly ever utilized. In order for me to be able to listen in this manner, I have to have complete unconditional regard for the person. Listening, believe it or not, is a powerful healing mechanism. Have you ever been with someone who gave you their total attention? Do you remember how that feels?

Communication and love can only be shared with the person you are with, no matter who they are. The person you are with is the most important person in the world. People can feel that kind of attention. They respond.

A common complaint among married couples is that they feel their partner doesn’t really listen to them. In a way, what that means is that they feel that their partner doesn’t make them feel valued anymore. If people actually were present with their loved ones, divorce lawyers would become a dying breed. Also, for a substantial part of your life, you are by yourself. Then, the most important person, the one you are with, is you!

The answer to the emperor’s last question, “What is the most important thing to do?” is care. To care means bringing together being careful and caring. What does it mean to care?

Well, for me to care means compassion. If compassion can be represented by a dove (as it often is), then the wings of the dove are wisdom. Without wisdom compassion cannot soar. I always find it funny that in the Buddhist tradition, they differentiate between compassion and stupid compassion. To illustrate, I’ll share another story I heard at a retreat once. A woman had spent three months a loving-kindness retreat. Metta, a form of loving-kindness mediation intended to opening the heart, is very intense and liberating. Well shortly after leaving the retreat, this woman was attacked by a man in a dark alleyway. Luckily, her screams were heard by passerby who came to her rescue.

The incident really shook her and she wondered about all that loving-kindness practice. She went to her teacher and related the incident to her, hoping to get some guidance. Her teacher asked her, “Weren’t you carrying an umbrella?” (the incident occurred during the monsoon season). The woman responded that yes she was carrying an umbrella. Her teacher smiled and told her, “Then you should’ve taken your umbrella, and with all the compassion in your heart, hit your assailant over the head repeatedly.”

That’s wise compassion and maybe that’s what’s meant by saying that the most import thing to do, right now, this very moment, is to care.

So, to sum up today’s sermon…

• When is the most important moment? Now
• Who is the most important person? The person you are with.
• What is the most important thing to do? To care.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

The Roads of Hell...

¡Hola! Everybody... So! I went to dinner at this young lady’s home and some of her family was there. Her lovely seven-year-old daughter was there along with her mother. Her mother is younger than I am (but I look younger. Kidding!). Anyway, her mother is quite an attractive woman and that got me to thinking... I’ve never...

Never Mind! LOL

I didn’t stay long, but my friend insisted on seeing me to the door where she planted on soft kiss on my lips. I kissed her back and grabbed that ass, which shocked her, but she laughed and playfully punched me on my shoulder...

To be continued (but not here )...

Later, I met up with some friends and after doing some service, we hung out. Life is good.

* * *

-=[ Intelligent Compassion ]=-

“A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.”

-- proverb

If we use the metaphor of a beautiful dove to symbolize compassion then its wings must surely be wisdom. Compassion without wisdom is dangerous.

It’s like that comedic where he thinks he’s performed a good deed for the day by guiding an elderly lady across the street. The trouble being that she didn’t want to cross the street in the first place; she then pummels the man with her umbrella. LOL

However, that skit speaks to the truth about the way many of us view compassion. The trouble being that we too often assume that know what’s good for another person.

I have a close friend that I don’t see too often these days, which is sad. But I just need to stay away from him for my own sanity. You see, for the past two years, he’s been hanging out with a bunch of “Born Againers” and I have found that the more he reads “scripture” the more intolerant he becomes. He’s quick to judgment and if you walk down the street with him, he begins pointing out what he perceives as people’s shortcomings. When I point out that his behavior isn’t very spiritual, he catches himself and tries to put a cover on it, but it’s there -- the judging. The sad part is that all this scripture reading hasn’t done much for his issues of lust and manipulating for sex (something he has struggled with for years). He tells me that it has been suggested to him that when he notices lust rise within him, that he should take out his bible and read passages from it. He became angry with me when I informed him of case histories of sexually motivated serial killers who used the same strategy. LOL!

I can deal with all that, but I can’t abide his steadfast, immovable belief that one can spiritually evolve only if that person accepts Jesus as his savior. I always respond with, “Fuck Jesus” and that usually stops his bullshit.

But I see this tendency to assume in a lot of people. We do this in our relationships -- especially our romantic relationships. We meet someone and no sooner that we begin a relationship, we want to change the other person because we seem to think we know best. It seems we always know what’s good for the other person when half the time we don’t even know what’s good for us. Come with a problem and everybody and their mother has an opinion or advice. Advice is dis-empowering -- it takes away from a person’s ability to find solutions for themselves. And half the time, you don’t know what the fock you’re talking about and if you did, you would know that advice is probably the worst thing you can offer a person.

I recently saw a special on this relatively new and inexpensive procedure that restores full hearing in people who are born deaf. I think we all would assume that everyone born deaf would want this. Well, a young man whose hearing was restored was so angry and upset at this parents and doctor. You see, no one asked him if he wanted to hear. Now he had to endure this torment of noise that he could make little sense of. He never wanted to hear in the first place.

Compassion that carries such assumptions is foolish and dangerous and the cause of much suffering in the world. Compassion without intelligence or wisdom isn’t compassion.

Love,

Eddie