The Friday Sex Blog [Power to the P]

Hola mi Gente,

Have you ever tried online dating? I have! I spent one year whoring through several online sites. Recently, I came across the following interesting information revealing a glimpse into the wild world of cyber romance:

• One out of ten users on online dating sites are scammers; one out of ten users leave within the first 3 months. 
•  One out of three women who meet men online have sex on the first encounter (which also means at least one third of the men).
• Online, men lie most about their age, height, and income. Women, on the other hand, lie most about their weight, physical build, and age. More info here .

It’s Friday and that means it’s all about S-E-X over at [un]Common Sense...

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Pussy Control

For the women with vaginas and the people who love them

Just as the brain/ mind and all the major body parts work together to create a sexual experience, the V is made up of many smaller components that work together when a woman is aroused. One little organ stirs, causing a chain reaction that eventually results in a symphonic pulsing that grows in waves of pleasure until it consumes your total being. Well, that’s if you’re with a lover who knows about your body. As with the cliché about knowledge and power, the more you know, the more effectively you can give and receive pleasure. Some of you may have hit on a button or two accidentally (happy, happy, joy, joy!), but here’s a short (and admittedly incomplete) guide to help you become a discoverer.

Technically, calling it a vagina is incorrect. The correct term would be the vulva. Vulva denotes the entire female genital area, the equivalent of “the package.” Sometimes it’s called a pussy, a va-jay-jay, the vag, Nuyoricans call it a chocha, but I would never call it a twat because that label is best reserved for conservatives (i.e., Ted Cruz is a dumb twat). The vagina is nestled within the vulva, but it is important to remember the rest of the sensitive parts around the vagina. Especially the clitoris. 

As I stated, the vulva describes the total female “package” (and what a package!). Vulva is the name for all the external parts: the mons pubis, the clitoris and its hood, and the vaginal and urethral openings.

The mons pubis (literally “pubic hill”) is the mound of flesh over the pubic bone where the hair grows. Underneath the mons pubis lies the ligament that holds the clit in place, therefore, massaging the area or grinding the pelvis against something (a hand, a good friend, a washing machine during the rinse cycle, or against another pelvis while slow dancing) can be a pleasurable experience.

The clitoris, sometimes called “the man in the boat,” “the clit,” or the “love button,” is similar to the male penis. It has a head and a shaft, and becomes erect when aroused. What most people don’t know is that the clitoris is larger than what it appears. In fact, for some time, scientists missed out on this. 

It has legs (“clitoral wings”) that extend several inches under the labia and toward the vagina and is in close proximity to the anus (that’s why anal sex can be a very pleasurable experience). The head can vary in size and shape and in how much of it protrudes. The visible nubbin has more than 6,000 nerve endings. Most fascinating is that the clitoris is the only human body part designed purely for pleasure. Most women need clitoral stimulation -- direct or indirect -- in order to reach orgasm.

The clitoral hood is a small sleeve of protective tissue that covers the clitoris -- similar to the foreskin on an uncircumcised penis. Some hoods cover a lot, the clit hardly showing. Other hoods are barely there, with the clit saying “hello!” Some women prefer clitoral stimulation through the hood because direct touch is too intense. Also, smegma, a cheese-like, foul-smelling substance, tends to gather under the hood and it’s a good idea for women to pull it back and clean it occasionally.

The outer labia (labia majora) are the outer lips that cushion and protect the tender parts beneath. They are mostly fatty tissue with some hair. The outer labia are less sensitive than other parts of the vulva. The inner labia (labia minora) are hair-free and much more sensitive (dense with nerve endings) than the outer labia. They swell when aroused and are attached to the head of the clitoris, therefore stroking them can stimulate the clit. Inner labia come in all sizes and can be small and tucked in or big blossoms of pussy. They can appear dark or light in color.

The anus, the vulva’s neighbor just down the way, is also rich in nerve endings and there’s much fun to be explored there. I will address the anus at a later date.

The urethra is a thin tube that carries urine away from the bladder and out the urethral opening is often small and hard to find. Since bacteria can migrate here during sex, be sure to pee afterward, as it is nature’s flushing system.

The urethral sponge is spongy erectile tissue that wraps around the urethra, protecting it. It contains lots of glands and when aroused becomes engorged with blood and the glands fill with fluid. This is most likely the fluid that squirts during female ejaculation. The G-spot is where you can feel the urethral sponge through the vaginal wall. It’s difficult to find when a woman isn’t aroused, but when she is, the urethral sponge swells and there’s a spot about two inches into the vagina on the belly side that feels rough to the touch. This is it! Some women love having the G-spot stroked or massaged with fingers or a vibrator. Others find it annoying.

The vagina, the passageway to and from the uterus, is made of two muscular walls that rest against each other. It helps to envision the vagina as more of an envelope than a “hole” or tunnel. At rest, it’s only about four to five inches deep. During arousal, the walls of the vagina become engorged with extra blood flow and become moist for the smoother entry of fingers/ penis/ toys. The first couple of inches of the vagina contain the most nerves. Excitement makes the rear portion of the vagina swell, lifting it another two inches or more. The deeper part is less sensitive but responds to pressure giving the sensation of “fullness” (yeah, to a degree, size matters LOL!).

The cervix is a knob of firmer tissue at the back of the vagina that serves as the gateway to the uterus. There’s an opening in the center (called the os) where menstrual blood flows out or sperm can enter. The cervix becomes softer and more “sperm-friendly” during ovulation (the “tender trap”? LOL). It also releases mucus that can aid or block sperm, depending on the time of the month. If a thrusting penis or dildo bangs up against the cervix during sex, it can hurt or feel great, depending on how you’re wired.

The PC or “love” muscle, short for pubococcygeus, is a muscle system at the bottom of the pelvic floor, holding up the bladder and uterus. During sexual excitement, the PC muscle contracts involuntarily, and spasms during orgasm. Both men and women can learn to control their PC muscle, manipulating it to extend orgasm, for example. 

There are other parts of the female reproductive system that I will omit at this time for the sake of brevity. For now, I’ll leave you with the following. Unlike men, whose genitals dangle externally, female genitalia is more internal and hidden. I would encourage women (or the men and women that love them) who haven’t already done so, to take a mirror and have a good look. Put some relaxing music on, grab a mirror (and perhaps a lover?) and squat or lie down and explore, get to know yourself. For the men, it would do you a great service if you took the time lovingly exploring your lover, getting to know her intimately. It’s like getting PhD in your lover’s erogenous zones. LOL

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

P.S.: Sex is a good thing.

Thinking Allowed

¡Hola! Everybody,
With so many meetings, when is it time to do the actual work? Is this too simple a question? Am I missing something?

I’ll be gone for most of the day (yet again), attending, you guessed it: meetings. yay...

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Thinking Allowed
(Or Aloud)

Quick! Stash away your brain. You know that gelatinous matter between your ears? I know you don’t use most of it (something like 90% goes unused, but that percentage is higher for reality TV watchers). However, the editors here at the [un]Common Sense Blog have discovered that your brain is illegal. The U.S. government has criminalized the chemical compounds of peyote, even though one of them, dopamine, is a primary neural transmitter in the human brain. Our brains also produce anandamide, a substance that’s nearly identical to THC, the active ingredient in marijuana.

::watches disdainfully as some fools set their brains on fire::

So much for the “they hate us and our freedoms” perspective on Islam. According to my computations (not really) more than 1.2 billion Muslims live under democratically elected governments, and there is a steady movement towards democratization, civil rights, and political freedom in many other Islamic nations (click here for source).

From our “Good News/ Bad News” department: The U.S. Air force has complied with the Environmental Protection Agency’s ban on ozone-destroying chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs). It has removed CFCs from the cooling systems of ballistic missiles that carry nuclear warheads. “If they are ever fired,” Access to Energy reported, “there will be an environmentally friendly nuclear holocaust.”

At last! A man I can admire. A blind German clairvoyant named Ulf Buck claims he can foretell people’s future by feeling their naked buttocks. I’ve been trying to tell women this all my adult life! Believe me, if I can feel your naked buttocks, sweetie, I will definitely be able to tell your immediate future (“I see you experiencing a refreshing soreness and deeply felt sense of surrender in the near future.”)

From our historical department comes the following gem: More than seven centuries before a few European men dared to sail beyond the safe boundaries of their known world, entire Polynesian families crossed the vast expanses of the Pacific Ocean in, yup, catamarans. The first humans to arrive in Hawaii were led by “wayfinders.” These miracle workers navigated uncharted seas by reading star positions, discerning weather patterns, and interpreting the ocean’s colors and movements. Shoot, I know some families can’t make it to Disney world with a map without killing each other along the way!

I’ve been reading again, folks. Yup. In his book The Naked Woman, best-selling author/ biologist Desmond Morris (The Naked Ape), takes us beyond the G-spot. He says that in addition to the G-spot, women have three other highly sensitive erotic zones in the vagina. He calls them the A-Spot, C-Spot, and U-Spot (more to come at a later sex blog).

From our “subversive acts” files: a few years ago, members of the Barbie Liberation Organization sneaked into toy stores and swapped the voice boxes of 300 GI Joe and Barbie Dolls. Boys who later purchased the plastic soldiers were shocked to hear them make comments like, “I like to go shopping with you,” while the girls who came to own the mutated Barbies heard commands like, “to the front lines, men!” (click here to view video)

Finally, our crack research team (really a Dominicana with a great ass!) came up with the following morsel: In her book, A Natural History of the Senses, Diane Ackerman observes that in many cultures the word for kiss means smell. “A kiss is really a prolonged smelling of one’s beloved, relative, or friend,” she writes. “Members of a tribe in New Guinea sat good-bye by putting a hand in each other’s armpit, withdrawing it, and stroking it over themselves, thus becoming coated with the friend’s scent. Other cultures sniff each other or rub noses.” Now, before you get all culturally myopic on me, please note that my preferred manner is to put my hand in the crack of your ass while I’m kissing you and then smelling my hand. I lurrrrve the baby powder!

Love,

Eddie