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Hola mi Gente,
I thought I’d post the following in
light of the horrible mass murder in Orlando.
Homophobia and Fundamentalism
 |
| Hundreds gather to donate blood in the aftermath of the massacre in Orlando |
If
you feared no one you would hate no one.
Researchers
have been most effective in uncovering the dark side of homophobia. One
researcher, who interviewed over 400 men incarcerated for gay-bashing noted
that the gay bashers generally saw nothing wrong in what they did, and more
often than not, stated that their religious leaders and traditions condoned
their behavior. One particular adolescent stated that the pastor of his church
had said, “Homosexuals represent the devil, Satan.”
Another
study showed that homophobes were more prone to
be aroused by gay porn than others. Somewhere, deep inside, those who
bash gays are actually lashing out at something inside of themselves. As
with other marginalized groups, gays become the object of hatred and
scapegoating. On a societal level, we purposely encourage hate for those who
are deemed different. Killing a gay person, in an unspeakable manner is often
considered less heinous than killing an individual who is heterosexual.
The same can be said for other marginalized groups, such as black and brown
people, or women, for example. A rape victim “asked for it” by dressing
provocatively, or a massacred black man was deemed as reaching for a weapon.
Societies
in which gender roles are strictly defined and where a high patriarchal god is
worshiped are also often violent societies. We see that example in the US, one
of the most “religious” of advanced democracies. We scream in outrage if a
breast is exposed on prime time TV, but say nothing to the fact that our
children are exposed to thousands of violent images and messages daily. We
teach our young boys to hate gays. How many times have you heard one young boy
call another a “faggot” or a queer in jest or anger? Boys are taught that
emotions are weak, that demonstrating kindness or love is effeminate or weak.
Not manly. I once witnessed a man slash another man, horribly disfiguring his
face for life, because one called the other a “faggot” in jest.
I
used to run a leadership development workshop and when asked to define
leadership values, almost no one ever mentioned nurturing as a valuable
leadership asset. Nurturing, relating, bonding, empathizing -- these are all deemed
womanly (and therefore weak) qualities, not qualities that strong leaders
possess (of, course, this isn’t true at all). I’ve heard grown men tell their
daughters that they would prefer a whore as a daughter than a lesbian.
Much
of physical and psychological violence and hatred is rooted in religious
fundamentalism and the social construction of rigid gender roles. The man who
allegedly confessed to the hate crime of beheading a gay man in Puerto Rico
said he became enraged when he realized the individual he thought was a woman,
was a man dressed in women’s clothing. He had picked him up at an area known
for prostitution and he freaked when he realized the object of his lust was a
homosexual. As I heard this, I realized that this man was attacking something
he couldn't face inside himself. The tragedy being that the gay man
dressed in women’s clothing died simply because everything his killer feared
was projected onto him. How else do you explain the decapitation if not as some
warped, deep-seated, repressed sense of self-loathing?
Hatred
is an extreme form of anger but also a form of deep connection. The teachings
of the path I follow take anger very seriously, because anger causes so much
suffering. I see hate as being rooted primarily in fear. Fear being a powerful core emotion.
When
anger is acted out and results in violence, the damage is obvious. Some years
ago, I came across the words of the Cambodian monk, Maha Ghosananda, who
observed, “When this defilement of anger really gets strong, it has no sense of
good or evil, right or wrong, of husbands, wives, children. It can even drink
human blood.” This was a tragic comment upon a bloody civil war that had torn
Cambodia apart and literally killed almost everyone he knew.
An
angry mind is a suffering mind. An angry mind is agitated and unyielding,
constricted and narrow in its thinking. Judgment and perspective cannot exist
in such an environment. All sense disappears. One feels restless and driven.
Nothing is satisfying, everything is tense. What happens during anger is that
as the sense of self increases, so does the sense of the other. A major reason
anger is so very painful is that it instantly creates a sharp distinction
between self and other. An imaginary line is drawn that cannot be passed. For
example, if I make the statement, “A homosexual is the devil,” I am drawing a
line as well as dehumanizing the object of my fear and wrath.
There
is an intoxicating effect to anger along with a strong feeling of
self-righteousness. Thoughts rooted in justification take over: “He was dressed
as a woman. He was not a real man. He was a freak!” This, combined with
feelings of defiance and rectitude (“I am right!”), creates the killing ground
for mindless hate and fear. Underlying the delusional intoxication of anger is
the pain of a mind so narrowly constricted that it closes itself off from human
all connection.
Anger
is like a poison in the mind. It generates an unhealthy cycle of cause and
effect. Every thought, word, or act has an angry after-effect. Like throwing a
pebble into a pond, an act or thought sets into motion a series of ripple
effects irradiating out in every direction. We are stuck with what we have
done, and with the effects that we have caused.
I
believe that the majority of harmful patterns of behavior are rooted in
unconscious anger, hatred, and fear. On a more subtle level, angry people
gossip about others, spread false accusations about others as a way of
justifying their angry and fearful state of mind. Existing in an environment of
fear, hate, and anger, they lash out at others and create the necessary condition
that maintains their bloated egos. I guess the answer is not to respond in
anger, but to generate love instead. However, one can also choose to love from
afar. We can choose to minimize our contact with harmful and negative
influences.
Unfortunately,
sometimes there isn’t a choice: you can become an object of hate and violence
simply for being you... for being black, Latinx, a woman, or gay. But the evolved
response to hatred and fear is not merely punishment, but a human justice that considers
all who have been impacted, including the perpetrators of horrific and hateful
acts. As with the hundreds that gathered to donate blood for the injured in
Orlando, in order to stop the cycle of violence, we have to create a justice
that is rooted in love. For, in the words of Cornel West, “Justice is what love
looks like in public.” But more on that some other time. For now, we grieve…
My
name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…
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