Noche Buena Heist

Hola mi gente,
“Happy Holidays!” for those who don’t. J

The following is fiction. It is based on actual events and is the foundation for one of the stories in my forthcoming book of short stories I'll never finish tentatively titled Ataques de Nervios (Nervous Attacks) or 704 E. 5th St. (or some shit like that). However, I have taken huge liberties with parts of the story, the characters, and time line.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
-- H.G. Wells, The Wife of Sir Isaac Harman

It’s so cold she can’t feel her feet. She’s wearing slippers in the midst of a raging Nor’easter. She’s afraid and her threadbare coat can’t protect her from the 40-50 mile per hour winds. It’s the night before Noche Buena and she’s alone, keeping vigil outside a home in a white section of lower Manhattan, but she’s here because her kids are in need... there’s no one around and she despairs. Her hands are numb from the cold and her feet ache.

It seemed as if it were hours ago when ‘Galo left with Gangster with instructions that if she saw anyone, she should whistle. In actuality, only minutes have passed. Now she wonders if she can whistle, her face is frozen, and they’ve been gone so long. What if the police come?

Finally, they come rushing out the building with stuffed pillowcases and as she starts to run with them she falls, she can’t feel her toes. Gangster and ‘Galo pick her up and they make their way hurriedly back to the Puerto Rican section of the Lower East Side, which takes too long and she’s crying, she’s in agony. ‘Galo stops to look at her feet and mutters, “Shit!” under his breath.

They hurry home.

They finally get home and by then, she’s crying in agony. ‘Galo takes off the slippers and thinks she has frostbite. She weeps, but tries to stifle her cries, fearful she’ll awaken the children. Unbeknownst to them, her oldest son, all of five-years-old, watches through a crack in the bedroom doorway. He’s afraid.

They call ‘Galo’s sister, who takes one look at the stuffed pillowcases and looks down at the young mother, as if noting her lack of moral standing. What kind of mother are you? Her looks seems to say. ‘Galo asks her to look at her feet and the sister says it’s not frostbite, but that she should go to the emergency room anyway. The young mother refuses, afraid. Afraid of the consequences of the act she just helped commit and afraid of what they may say about her toes that throb with a dull pain now.

They give ‘Galo’s sister a gold watch from the stolen loot, and she’s delighted. It’s an expensive watch, very pretty. She gives the young mother another look condemnation and admonishes her for behaving in such an un-Christian manner. The young mother says nothing and thanks her for looking after the children.

That Christmas was a good Christmas, or at least the children thought so. There was food, there were gifts under the tree, and the young mother seemed so happy though her children asked when they noticed that she limped a little when she walked. She had a brand new pair of boots, the only concession she made for the oldest will always remember the James Bond attaché case, complete with gadgets and it even shot rubber bullets if you pressed a hidden button. He also got a chemistry set that he used for hours upon hours... She made sure her children got our gifts before ‘Galo and Gangster would leave with the bulk of the loot, returning only when the money was spent on drugs. She didn’t even get herself a decent coat. However, her children got warm coats, gloves, scarves, and long underwear.

Her son never knew why she was crying that wintry night all those years ago. He thought they were fighting. But he was not surprised at her sacrifice -- the choices she made so that she could make sure her children were and had what they needed. Somehow she always made it right, even if it meant compromising her values or her reputation. She didn’t care, only her children mattered. Still, she was ashamed and part of the reason why her children had perfect posture is because she taught them to walk tall, with their heads held high. It was the last bastion against the shame -- that she made certain her children would walk proudly.

Most importantly, she taught them what really matters.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, please consider helping me out by sharing it, liking me on Facebook, following me on Twitter, or even throwing me some money on GoFundMe HERE or via PayPal HERE so I can keep calling it like I see it.

Sunday Sermon [Moral Inventory]

Hola Everybody,
Today… Three for the price of one… 

If God lived on Earth, people would break his windows.
-- Yiddish saying

Hillary Clinton has had to have one of the greatest Fridays evah. On the day that WikiLeaks dumped thousands of emails, many highlighting her servile speeches to her corporate backers, the biggest story has been that Donald trump managed to say “pussy” about ten years. BTW, the major news media have not reported on the WikiLeaks dump. Only conservative outlets, desperately grabbing for anything in light of Trump’s incompetence, have given any ink or airtime to the WikiLeaks revelations. Still, here’s one item that bears repeating.

Apparently, Hillary Clinton believes that black people are “professional never-do-wells” incapable of success “irrespective” (sic) of the opportunities they’re given. Partial transcripts show that she made this racist and shameful statement to a group of Wall Street elitists who all share the same views, and she was paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to make it. There’s more, a lot more within the WikiLeaks dump. Read about it HERE.

That’s one…

File this under the “First as tragedy, then as comedy” files: The MSM, which has missed everything of any importance from the lead-up to Iraq war, to the disclosure of government files that shows we're actually run by a shadow government, is treating anything that Trump says as if it were the modern-day equivalent of Watergate. Considering we’re a surveillance state, drone bombing innocent women and children is the norm, and we’re completely under the thumb of the financial elites, this utterly ridiculous.

That’s two…

Recapitulation

 The secret of a warrior is that he believes without believing… to just believe would just exonerate him from examining his situation. A warrior, whenever he has to involve himself with believing, does it as a choice.
 -- Don Juan Matus (Carlos Castaneda)

I’m almost afraid to post this one, but I think some people will benefit. Others might use it to torture themselves, so caveat emptor (“buyer beware”).

Carlos Castaneda’s Yaqui teacher Don Juan illustrated an exercise that he called recapitulation. I’d read about it a long time ago, and had forgotten it. However, as part of my own inner work, I do a similar exercise at the end of my day. 

At the end of your day, place your chin on your right shoulder. Very slowly swing it until it’s resting on your left shoulder. As you do this, review the significant events of the day in chronological order. Don’t do this as a way to relive blame or justify your actions of the day. Perhaps before attempting to do this, you might some work in the area of self-acceptance. 

If you do this consistently with an open mind and heart, resisting the impulse to judge, eventually you will uncover habitual patterns, perhaps even see future developments, and confront your rigid belief systems (i.e., I’m always right, I am worthless). This exercise is meant as a conscious effort to transcend your defense mechanisms and perhaps obtain a glimpse of your genuine or higher self.

I would add that when you find you have acted wrongly or unwisely just admit it; don’t waste time defending it, or compounding it, simply admit it. Conversely, especially if you desire to stop the cycle of dysfunctional patterns, don’t beat yourself up about your transgressions. Punishing yourself will only embed the habitual patterns more deeply.

Alternatively, you can ignore all this until you grow old and realize it’s all been an elaborate sham -- this persona you mindlessly create and defend.

Either way, you’re gonna haveta confront this ma’fucca sooner or later.

That’s three... 

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

Evolving Consciousness

Hola Everybody,
One can tease out political differences quite simply. How individuals view the role of government, define freedom, and what they consider a just society is directly related to their level of moral reasoning. In addition, knowing where people stand in terms of their capacity for moral reasoning allows for more collaboration.

I was at two interviews today. Wish me luck. Also please consider supporting my writing and advocacy work by donating whatever you can HERE. I’ll be frank here, at this point, your generosity helps me with carfare so I can ride the subway to job interviews and decide whether I will lose my cellphone service or my property in storage.

But! I kid you not… life is good (if difficult at times).

Moral Development

... Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.
 -- Henry David Thoreau

Not too long ago, I participated as part of a panel with a woman. We were addressing college students, and what struck me about this particular woman was the extent of her self-centeredness. I found it interesting because she sought me out before we spoke and mentioned that she too was a “practicing Buddhist.” Her version of Buddhism, it seemed to me, was simply meditation. I had a teacher who once joked that practicing Buddhism without ethics was like trying to row a boat without first untying it from the pier.

From what I gathered, her whole existence centered on her and she was oblivious to how she was connected to her environment; how her actions reverberated and caused ripples. In her world, what mattered was the conscious cultivation of her ego. In fact she could actually see the “logic” in the needless death of an infant. You may have heard of the moral dilemma that if the death of one infant would save hundreds, it was morally justified? This woman would gleefully strangle such a child. This is what happens when you mix Ayn Rand with meditation! LOL Nothing could be further from my vision of Buddhist practice.

Two people, two different worlds.

This got me to thinking and I have come to realization that “practicing meditation” or any set of mechanics isn’t enough. I have come to realize that we create our world according to our level of consciousness/ awareness. It’s the same with love. For some people, love’s reason is the satisfaction of the individual. Love is something that you go “out there” to get in order to satisfy a hunger for connection. Similarly, religion and everything else is filtered -- distilled -- according to where you stand in terms of your level of moral reasoning.

I’ll explain. Let’s look at moral development as a starting off point. Let’s say, for the sake of this post, that moral development has three distinct stages. At birth an infant hasn’t been socialized into its culture’s ethics, standards, and conventions; let’s call this the preconventional stage. It’s also known as the egocentric, in that the infant’s awareness is largely consumed with self -- self-absorbed. But as the young child begins to learn its culture’s rules and norms, it grows into the conventional stage of morals. This stage is also known as ethnocentric, in that it’s focused on the child’s particular group, tribe, clan, or nation, and therefore tends to exclude those not of its group. But at the next major stage of moral development, the post-conventional stage, the individual’s identity expands to include care and concern for all peoples, regardless of race, color, sexual orientation, or creed, which is why this stage is also known as worldcentric.

If you’re still with me, you can see that moral development tends to move from “me” (egocentric) to “us” (ethnocentric) to “all of us” (worldcentric). This is an example of unfolding waves of consciousness. 

Using this consciousness map as a framework to understand reality one can see how religion (or love) will manifest itself differently in a person who’s at the egocentric stage than a person who’s at a worldcentric stage. Both people can be just as devout (or “in love”), but spiritual practice will evolve according to any one individual’s level of moral development.

To further illustrate, imagine love from a morally egocentric perspective. Love at this stage resembles a yearning -- something like an addict's need for a fix -- an ego boost. Same thing with almost anything you look at in life: perception and meaning changes according to what level you are engaging the world. Religion from an egocentric perspective resembles the global wave of fundamentalism currently threatening our existence. And I mention fundamentalism in all its manifestations -- including our own home-grown Christian fundamentalism.

I find all this quite interesting because a lot of my work involves advocating for systemic change that is essentially an attempt to move collectively from one stage to another. But it’s also interesting because it helps me tease out the idiosyncrasies when someone says, “I love you.” Perhaps we need to know a little more about others and ourselves as we travel on our journey. For what may sound like “I love you” may in actuality mean “I love me.”

What would our national or geopolitical dialog resemble as people moved up the ladder of the stages of moral reasoning?

My name is Eddie and I'm in recovery from civilization...