The Friday Sex Blog [Exhibitionism and Voyeurism]

Hola Everybody,
A reader sends an email... 

Exhibitionism/ Voyeurism

Canne Film Festival

From a reader:

I love to screw and/ or watch people screw in public places. I know it may sound like pure fabrication, but one of my most mind-blowing sexual experiences was screwing a man I had just met at a very large parade in NYC… on Fifth Avenue.

Mind you, I don't consider myself a voyeur nor an exhibitionist, but I enjoy engaging in sex in public places and have had sex in almost every public place imaginable. Am I freak or sexual deviant? Is this wrong? Or are there others who enjoy this form of sexual risk-taking.

Shy Freak

You got it Shy, you naughty girl! Here goes… An exhibitionist, or scopophile, by definition is someone who derives erotic pleasure from the display of genitals or other parts that are normally considered taboo. While exhibitionism is a common occurrence as foreplay, exhibitionists usually expose themselves without the consent of their audience, or with any intention of consummating the implied sex act.

There are many degrees of exhibitionism, some of them not very healthy, as with exhibitionists who derive pleasure from the horror created by their exposure. These individuals often expose themselves to younger victims or unsuspecting victims. To be fair, many Western women are exhibitionists to a degree. This started happening when pre-arranged marriages ceased to exist and women were thrown into competition for husbands. If you do a little research, you could see immediate changes in ads and the forms of dress women adopted. For the first time, women had some measure of power over men. I believe this is part of the erotic pleasure derived from exhibitionism. 

One of the most erotic exhibitionists I ever saw was a young blonde woman who lived in a mostly in a shoddy neighborhood. Every day, at an appointed hour, she would undress in front of her window in her second-floor apartment that faced the street. It was like a TV show. Guys would rush home, buy beer and weed, sit by their windows, shoot the shit and wait for “Blondie” to do her thing. And she did her thing everyday, like clockwork. She was a petite, slim woman, very light-skinned. You could tell she knew people were watching and she was very meticulous in her manner of undressing. She obviously paid close attention to her use of undergarments and undressed slowly in front of her window. After she finished undressing, she would pull down her blinds and that was it. End of show.

She would give no one any conversation. She had a boyfriend who visited her now and then, but otherwise she kept to herself and interestingly enough, no one messed with her.

I was always curious as to the inner processes at work in this type of behavior. Later I would learn that, as with other forms of anticipated sex, there is a certain amount of arousal present. An exhibitionist will become stimulated as they plan what to wear, where to expose themselves, and to whom or what type of audience, they will expose themselves. Coordinating the right sequence of location and events adds to the tension that produces amounts of adrenaline and releases hormones that in some cases leads to genital orgasm.

As I stated before, you don’t have to be an exhibitionist in the strict sense of the word, and still possess a fetish for sexing in public places. My reader, Shy, elaborates:

I was never happier, sexually speaking, than when I was in a relationship with a man who shared my enthusiasm for public intercourse. We did it everywhere: on crowded subway trains, theaters, on a late-night plane trip, in all kinds of autos. We did it in alleyways, hallways, beaches, pools -- you name it, we probably did it there. We would sit down and plan these sexual trysts in detail and that was half the fun. On many occasions, we were discovered or watched by strangers, and while this wasn’t the intention, it did add to the excitement. Once I went down on him at a restaurant while on my knees under the table.

Shy adds:

I was looking out my window one summer night and noticed a couple in a parked car. I had a bird’s eye view of them and it was evident the woman was going down on the man. I realized that watching them was highly arousing. I had an erection just watching her go down on that cock. At one point, she caught me looking -- we actually made eye contact -- which made her stop. However, after a moment, she resumed her ministrations and I discovered that was a huge turn on for me.

The fact that she was doing this in public and that she knew I was watching was extremely sexually arousing. When my lover became curious and saw what I was looking at, he scolded me, but she too became transfixed by the act. Eventually, we would engage in sex while watching the woman in the car. Occasionally, she would make eye contact with us while continued and it was it clear to her that we were sexing while watching her.

Voyeurism involves the act of watching other people for the purpose of sexual arousal. Most often, a voyeur will station himself outside a window, what’s known as a Peeping Tom. Voyeurism seems to surface in many people when it involves celebrity. How many times has a celebrity’s skinny ass been shown on the internet? Better yet, how many times have you looked at it? ::blank stare: LOL

In our society, voyeurism is celebrated in many ways and rewarded handsomely. For example, a photographer lucky enough of taking a shot of the latest trending celebrity flashing will easily command six figures. This indicates that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of quasi-voyeurs who derive pleasure from a glimpse of the forbidden or unattainable. For many hardcore voyeurs, the embarrassment of outrage of the victim makes it all the more appealing.

So to answer your question, Shy Freak, yes, you’re probably a freak but that’s not such a bad thing. Carry on!

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

The Friday Sex Blog [Exhibitionism/ Voyeurism]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Well it’s Friday New Year’s Eve! The last sex blog of the year. LOL I’ve been working on some blogs that… well suffice it to say I’m not taking any motherfuckin prisoners this coming year. Please be careful driving and have a wonderful New Year.

* * *

-=[ Exhibitionism/ Voyeurism ]=-

The title is a little misleading, since this post, while addressing both fetishes, is about neither voyeurism nor exhibitionism, but a slight mixture of the two. I think the two are connected.

I love to screw and/ or watch people screw in public places. I know this sounds like a pure fabrication, but one of my greatest sexual experiences was fucking a woman I had just met on New Years Eve… at Times Square!

Mind you, I am neither a voyeur, nor an exhibitionist, but I enjoy fucking in public places and have fucked in almost every public place imaginable. An exhibitionist, or scopophile, by definition is someone who derives erotic pleasure from the display of genitals or other parts that are normally considered taboo. While exhibitionism is a common occurrence as foreplay, exhibitionists usually expose themselves without the consent of their audience, or with any intention of consummating the sex act.

There are many degrees of exhibitionism, some of them not very healthy, as with exhibitionists who derive pleasure from the horror created by their exposure. These individuals often expose themselves to younger victims or unsuspecting victims. To be fair, most American™ women are exhibitionists to some degree. This started happening when pre-arranged marriages ceased to exist in the United States and women were thrown into competition for husbands. You could see immediate changes in ads and the forms of dress women adopted. For the first time, women had some measure of power over men. I believe this is part of the erotic pleasure derived from exhibitionism.

One of the most erotic exhibitionists I ever saw was a young blonde woman who lived in a mostly Puerto Rican neighborhood. Everyday, at an appointed hour, she would undress in front of her window in her second-floor apartment that faced the street. It was like a TV show. Guys would rush home, buy beer and weed, sit by their windows, shoot the shit and wait for “Blondie” to do her thing. And she did her thing everyday, like clockwork. She was a petite, slim woman, very light-skinned and a real blonde. You could tell she knew people were watching and she was very meticulous in her manner of undressing. She obviously paid close attention to her use of undergarments and undressed slowly in front of her window. After she finished undressing, she would pull down her blinds and that was it. End of show. LOL

She would give no one any conversation. She had a Puerto Rican boyfriend who visited her now and then, but otherwise she kept to herself and interestingly enough, no one messed with her.

I was always curious as to the inner processes at work in this type of behavior. Later, as part of my studies, I would learn that, as with other forms of anticipated sex, there is a certain amount of arousal present. An exhibitionist will become stimulated as they plan what to wear, where to expose themselves, and to whom or what type of audience, they will expose themselves. Coordinating the right sequence of location and events adds to the tension that produces amounts of adrenaline and hormones that in some cases leads to genital orgasm.

As I stated before, I am not an exhibitionist in the strict sense of the word, but I have a huge fetish for fucking in public places. I was never happier, sexually speaking, than when I was in a relationship with a woman who shared my enthusiasm for public intercourse. We did it everywhere. Once she fellated me at a restaurant, swallowing me completely while on her knees under the table. People caught that one!

But one of the most mind-blowing sexual experiences I’ve ever had was at a Puerto Rican Day parade. My lover and I spent days planning and on the day of The Parade, she wore a short skit with no panties. I wore no underwear also and we got to the parade early, lining up against the police barriers. For those who are unaware, The Puerto Rican Day Parade is the largest outdoor event in the States -- millions of people attend. By noon, we were surrounded on all sides by a mass of humanity, crushed together literally. That’s when I reached in, pulled out my cock and slipped it underneath my lover’s short skirt where the head nestled itself between her cheeks. With the exception of one woman standing right next to us, no one seemed aware as I pushed a little until my cock was at the entrance of my lover’s anus. I kept it there for what seemed like a lifetime. There was much fondling and nibbling and eventually, my lover would spread her cheeks and invite me to push a little more. It took literally hours but eventually I would be able to insert the head of my cock into her ass. It took everything I had not to come inside her. By this time, I was fingering her clit with one hand, my cock inching deeper into her ass. At one point, a famous celebrity, I forget who, passed by on a float and this allowed my lover to jump up and down, in the process, impaling herself on my cock.

Gawd!

She was one of the greatest lovers I ever had. We would fuck everywhere: on subway trains, theaters, on a late-night plane trip to Puerto Rico, all kinds of autos. We screwed in alleyways, hallways, beaches, pools -- you name it, we probably fucked there. We would sit down and plan these sexual trysts in detail and that was half the fun. On many occasions, we were discovered or watched by strangers, and while this wasn’t the turn on, it did add to the excitement.

Then one day, I was watching out my window and noticed a couple in a parked car. I had a bird’s eye view of them and it was evident the woman was fellating the man. I realized that watching them was highly arousing. I had an erection just watching her go down on that cock. At one point, she saw me looking -- we actually made eye contact -- which made her stop. However, after a moment, she resumed sucking her man off and it was a huge turn on. The fact that she was sucking his dick in public and that she knew I was watching was extremely sexually arousing. When my lover became curious and saw what I was looking at, she scolded me, but she too became transfixed by the act. Eventually, I would take her from behind while the woman in the car continued sucking her lover’s cock. She would make eye contact with us while she bobbed her head on the cock and we made it clear that I was fucking my lover doggie style.

Whew!

Voyeurism involves the act of watching other people for the purpose of sexual arousal. Most often, a voyeur will station himself outside a window, what’s known as a Peeping Tom. Voyeurism seems to surface in many people when it involves celebrity. How many times has Paris Hilton’s skinny snatch been shown on the internet? Better yet, how many times have you looked at it?

::blank stare:

LOL

In our society, voyeurism is celebrated in many ways and rewarded handsomely. For example, a photographer lucky enough of taking a shot of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton flashing their anorectic snatches will easily command six figures. This indicates that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of quasi-voyeurs who derive pleasure from a glimpse of the forbidden or unattainable. The embarrassment of outrage of the victim makes it all the more appealing.

Love,

Eddie

The TGIF Sex Blox [Incest and Voyeurism]

¡Hola! Everybody...
I want to go see Michael Moore’s latest (heard it’s his best since Roger and Me), but it’s playing at only two theaters here?!! Both theaters (The Angelika and Lincoln Center) suck, IMO...

BTW, I don't think I announced here, but one of my blogs was nominated for Blog of the Year, and I'm getting my ass kicked! If you can, please go and vote for me (click here). It's pathetic, the ass-whupping I'm getting. LOL!

* * *

Mackenzie Phillips and her Sister, Chynna

-=[ Incest, Secrets, & Woundology ]=-

On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it. I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad’s bed.

-- Mackenzie Phillips on her relationship with her father

By now, you have probably heard the cries coming on the heels of actress Mackenzie Phillips revelation of her long-term incestuous relationship with her father, musician John Philips, in a tell-all memoir. Everybody and their mother (oops!) has had something to say about it.

There’s a reason for that...

First, this post will not be a moral condemnation of Phillips. There will be no pontificating, proselytizing, or judgment of her or her decision to reveal the intimate details of an apparently consensual intimate and incestuous relationship with her father. She has enough to deal with. Part of the reason for the interest in the story, aside from the obvious taboo it breaks, is that as a society we all have become voyeurs. We watch suffering on TV, for example, and after having a good cry, we feel better about ourselves because we felt a catharsis of some kind. That this voyeurism does nothing to alleviate the world’s suffering is irrelevant -- what’s important is that we feel better about ourselves. Why do you think those stupid email forwards are so popular? Partly because clicking a mouse and sending that (bogus) story of the dying child to 1000 contacts on our list makes us feel better somehow.

We have mistaken voyeurism -- or a form of collective Peeping Tom-ism -- for compassion.

It’s the same with lurid sex tales, or the obsessive/ compulsive hunt for pedophiles that exist only in our minds, and all the other bullshit we are fed everyday. It’s voyeurism in the sense that we live our lives in absentia. We don’t so much as participate in life; rather we sit back and watch it flash by. We don’t date, we watch “reality” shows on dating and become consumed about who wins or loses, or who act da fool. We don’t so much as engage in sex, rather, we watch others do it, or talk about it, and the more lurid the sex, the more it captivates us. And all the while, the haves are raping us blind...

We are a society of Peeping Toms. Afraid of living our own lives, we watch the fantasy machine. And so it is with Mackenzie Philips' revelation. I can’t say for sure or speak on her cognitive motivation for revealing, in so public a manner, her sexual relationship with her father. Some might say it’s the money -- to sell a book. Others may point out hers is a mindset indicative of the fall of civilization as we know it. Others will say it’s a sign of the End Times, blah blah blah...

The only fact we can be sure of is that we’re watching. Period.

I do think that this need to reveal ourselves publicly is a perversion of something that was originally healthy. For too long, before the advent of psychotherapy and 12-steps fellowships, we hid our shame in secrets that killed us as surely as any unchecked cancer. Secrets kill, for sure. As a society, we were taught to hide our shameful aspects, not talk about rape, addiction, abuse, or incest, and that certainly wasn’t healthy. Secrets kill because secrets allow the behavior to continue unchecked. So, in a very real way, Ms. Phillips is talking about something that needs to be spoken about.

The problem is one of what the intuitive healer, Caroline Myss, calls woundology: the overwhelming tendency to become to preoccupied with our wounds. We have taken disclosure to its extreme. There is no reason for me to know that you are an incest survivor, recovering, addict, and God only knows what else, within the first few minutes I have met you. That’s none of my business. Actually, I don’t want to about know that. I shouldn’t know that.Not on the first date!

“Here’s my wound,” we seem to be saying to one another.

“I am an incest survivor.”

“I am domestic violence survivor.”

“I am a spurned lover.”

“I am a cancer survivor.”

The list goes on. We have become too identified with our wounds and the problem is that we are more than a wound, we’re human beings first. It’s a problem because when we abandon or are unable to maintain healthy boundaries, it becomes a free-for-all. Our lives have become episodes of Jerry Springer. Sometimes it seems that we can’t see each other in our rush to reveal our wounds.

Woundology.

Liberating ourselves from the destructive shame of our secrets is an important and noble cause. It’s how we grow as humans, how we evolve and heal, become more whole. It is the first step towards freedom from human bonadage. But talking about our secrets is only a small part of that healing process. To stay stuck on the wound, to walk around constantly exposing your wound to anyone who will bother to look is not part of an effective healing process. In actuality, it’s the other half of the voyeurism dialectic. The other part of voyeurism is the exhibitionism -- we have also become emotional exhibitionists. Some of show, the rest of us watch.

What kind of shit is that?

I will not pass judgment on Ms. Phillips, nor will I attempt, as many have done, to offer some bullshit pop psychology analysis. One of the first lessons I learned from my study of psychology is that you first have to look at yourself when faced when a stimulus.

Family incest/ rape (which is how I view this incident) is very traumatic and a child will develop poor coping skills and experience issues with boundaries. I think I see this in Ms. Phillips' decision to go public with the lurid details of her incestuous relationship with her father. There’s a difference between disclosing the process of a dysfunctional or harmful behavior and sharing the content of such behaviors. Healing is a process and talking about that process is a path out of the darkness of shame. Sharing the detailed contents of that experience, in my mind, isn’t for public consumption, and can't possibly be therapuetic. As traumatic as incest and family rape is, I can’t imagine how much more traumatic it would be to have to go through this process publicly.

But we all watch and we think we’re living... but we’re not. We’re professional voyeurs.

Love,

Eddie

The Friday Sex Blog [Exhibitionism/ Voyeurism]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Well it’s Friday and after today, I’m off on vacation for two weeks!

Man! I need a break. I’m just about burnt out. And let me just state for the record that two weeks is not nearly enough. I think a month is just about right. All my Euro friends all get at least a month off mandatory! I’m not doing much; it’ll be a ghetto vacation for yours truly this year. But there’ll be enough to do here entertainment-wise and I’ll also be doing a home “mini” spiritual retreat.

* * *

-=[ Exhibitionism/ Voyeurism ]=-

The title is a little misleading, since this post, while addressing both fetishes, is about neither voyeurism nor exhibitionism, but a slight mixture of the two. I think the two are connected.

I love to screw and/ or watch people screw in public places. Mind you, I am neither a voyeur, nor an exhibitionist, but I enjoy fucking in public places and have fucked in almost every public place you can think of. An exhibitionist, or scopophile, by definition is someone who derives erotic pleasure from the display of genitals or other parts that are normally considered taboo. While exhibitionism is a common occurrence as foreplay, exhibitionists usually expose themselves without the consent of their audience, or with any intention of consummating the sex act.

There are many degrees of exhibitionism, some of them not very healthy, as with exhibitionists who derive pleasure from the horror created by their exposure. These individuals expose themselves to younger victims or unsuspecting victims. To be fair, most American™ women are exhibitionists to some degree. This started happening when pre-arranged marriages ceased to exist in the United States and women were thrown into competition for husbands with one another. You could see immediate changes in ads and the forms of dress women adopted. For the first time, women had some measure of power over men. I believe this part of the erotic pleasure derived from exhibitionism.

One of the most erotic exhibitionists I ever saw was a young blonde woman who lived in a mostly Puerto Rican neighborhood. Everyday, at an appointed hour, she would undress in front of her window in her second-floor apartment that faced the street. It was like a TV show. Guys would rush home, buy beer and weed, sit by their windows, shoot the shit and wait for “Blondie” to do her thing. And she did her thing everyday, like clockwork. She was a petite, slim woman, very light-skinned and a real blonde. You could tell

she knew people were watching and she was very meticulous in her manner of undressing. She obviously paid close attention to her use of undergarments and undressed slowly in front of her window. After she finished undressing, she pull down her blinds and that was it. End of show. LOL

She would give no one any conversation. She had a Puerto Rican boyfriend who visited her now and then, but otherwise she kept to her self and interestingly enough, no one messed with her.

I was always curious as to the inner processes at work in this type of behavior. Later, as part of my studies, I would learn that, as with other forms of anticipated sex, there is a certain amount of arousal present. An exhibitionist will become stimulated as they plan what to wear, where to expose themselves, and to whom or what type of audience, they will expose themselves. Coordinating the right sequence of location and events adds to the tension that produces amounts of adrenaline and hormones that in some cases leads to genital orgasm.

As I stated before, I am not an exhibitionist in the strict sense of the word, but I have a huge fetish for fucking in public places. I was never happier, sexually speaking, than when I was in a relationship with a woman who shared my enthusiasm for public intercourse. We did it everywhere. Once she fellated me at a restaurant, swallowing me completely while on her knees under the table. People caught that one!

But one of the most mind-blowing sexual experiences I’ve ever experienced was at a Puerto Rican Day parade. My lover and I spent days planning and on the day of The Parade, she wore a short skit with no panties. I wore no underwear also and we got to the parade early, lining up against the police barriers. For those who are unaware, The Puerto Rican Day Parade is the largest outdoor event in the States – millions of people attend. By noon, we were surrounded on all sides by a mass of humanity, crushed together literally. That’s when I reached in, pulled out my cock and slipped it underneath my lover’s short skirt where the head nestled itself between her cheeks. With the exception of one woman standing right next to us, no one seemed aware as I pushed a little until my cock was at the entrance of my lover’s anus. I kept it there for what seemed like a lifetime. There was much fondling and nibbling and eventually, my lover would spread her cheeks and invite me to push a little more. It took literally hours but eventually I would be able to insert the head of my cock into her ass. It took everything I had not to come inside her. By this time, I was fingering her clit with one had, my cock inching deeper into her ass. At one point, a famous celebrity, I forget who, passed by on a float and this allowed my lover to jump up and down, in the process, impaling herself on my cock.

Gawd!

She was one of the greatest lovers I ever had. We would fuck everywhere: on subway trains, theaters, on a late-night plane trip to Puerto Rico, all kinds of autos. We screwed in alleyways, hallways, beaches, pools – you name it, we probably fucked there. We would sit down and plan these sexual trysts in detail and that was half the fun. On many occasions, we were discovered or watched by strangers, and while this wasn’t the turn on, it did add to the excitement.

Then one day, I was watching out my window and noticed a couple in a parked car. I had a bird’s eye view of them and it was evident the woman was fellating her man in the car. I realized that watching them was highly arousing. I had an erection just watching her go down on that cock. At one point, she saw me looking – we actually made eye contact – which made her stop. However, after a moment, she resumed sucking her man off and it was a huge turn on. The fact that she was sucking his dick in public and that she knew I was watching was extremely sexually arousing. When my lover became curious and saw what I was looking at, she scolded me, but she too became transfixed by the act. Eventually, I would take her from behind while the woman in the car continued sucking her lover’s cock. She would make eye contact with us while she bobbed her head on the cock and we made it clear that I was fucking my lover doggie style.

Whew!

Voyeurism involves the act of watching other people for the purpose of sexual arousal. Most often, a voyeur will station himself outside a window, what’s known as a Peeping Tom. Voyeurism seems to surface in many people when it involves celebrity. How many times has Paris Hilton’s skinny snatch been shown on the internet? Better yet, how many times have you looked at it?

::blank stare:

LOL

In our society, voyeurism is celebrated in many ways and rewarded handsomely. For example, a photographer lucky enough of taking a shot of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton flashing their anorectic snatches will easily get six figures for such a photo. This indicates that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of quasi-voyeurs who derive pleasure from a glimpse of the forbidden or unattainable. The embarrassment of outrage of the victim makes it all the more appealing.

Love,

Eddie