As you have probably heard, Sen. Ted Kennedy, “the Lion of the Senate,” passed away earlier today. He may have been an imperfect human being, but he was a masterful legislator. Look at all of his legislative accomplishments: Voting Rights Act, Americans with Disabilities Act, Title 9, WIC for feeding the poor, CHIP for child healthcare, expansion of Medicare. Hundreds of his bills became law. His death is our democracy’s loss. RIP Mr. Kennedy.
Part of the “Summer Reruns” series...
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-=[ The Art of the Flirt ]=-
Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.
-- Charles Reade
As most of you have probably noticed by now, I am a notorious flirt. I will flirt with anyone: age, sexual orientation, even species, has no effect one me -- if it moves, I will flirt with it. I’m also a bit out of control. Those who have met me in person and seen me in a group context know I am absolutely out of my mind. Most of you think of stuff; I actually do stuff.
One day, some friends and I went out and we met a group of young ladies. Of course, I was all over the place, pushing the envelope, laughing, doing stuff, and we were all having a good time. No sooner than a friend of mine tried to the same thing I was doing, he was slapped -- well, almost slapped. My friend wondered aloud why I get away with doing stuff all the time.
I think I know why. The reason why women allow me some latitude is that they sense that my flirting and carrying on comes from a good place. My intention is to have fun. My flirting is most often about poking fun at conventions and many women get that. I might take a woman’s hand or do outrageous stuff, but I like to think most women get where I’m coming from. In other words, I’m not coming from a creepy place.
What I’m saying is that not all my flirting is romantic in nature. Sometimes my flirting has more to do with making fun of a situation or myself in a way that makes people comfortable. What my friend doesn’t get is that women can feel his intentions -- that’s why he doesn’t get away with the things I’m allowed to do.
Besides, you really shouldn’t be following my lead -- I’m not exactly the ideal model here.
On the other hand, when I’m in a relationship, I am much more conscious about my interactions with the opposite sex. A lot depends on the woman I’m with. I would never want a woman to feel badly around me, so when I’m with someone, whether it be a casual date, or in a committed relationship, I adapt my behavior accordingly. The irony is that I find more women telling me it’s okay for me to act out. Even then, I like to think I am considerate of others.
I say this because I know many people who know me exclusively through my internet interactions see me as an incorrigible flirt, and to a degree, I am. However, that’s only one aspect of my personality. I mean, those who have chatted with me, or met me, or talked to me on the phone know that we could go for hours and I won’t bring up the topic of sex. I think people get that impression of me from my internet persona.
As I have stated previously, the aspect that I show most on internet is the performer side of my personality. I am actually quite respectful -- the perfect gentleman -- in person, and I challenge any woman who has me t me personally (except you. LOL!) to say otherwise. I was taught to be the perfect gentleman by the women who raised me, and I like being that way. Flowers, poetry, consideration, respect, being willing to listen -- these are all qualities you might not experience with me here on the internet, but those are aspects of my personality too.
I think people have lost the art of the flirt. Like kissing, or anything worthwhile in life, flirting takes practice. It takes a willingness to be bold, but in a way that invites participation. It takes a sense of adventure and also an evolved sense of humor because with flirting comes risks. Flirting is a way to laugh in the face of social conventions and sometimes also a way to test the romantic waters. I don’t like to flirt just to see how far I can go, that’s not fun. Like saying something outrageous to see if it’s permitted or not? I’m not like that. If I want to go to bed with you, eventually, I will bring up the subject in a very non-flirtatious manner. It will be more along the lines of, “I’m becoming very much attracted to you, your way of being, and I’m developing these feelings for you blah blah blah… ” I’m very much upfront about where I stand and what I’m feeling.
No, flirting is fun. It’s a way for adults to loosen up, break down some barriers, and push the envelope. Nevertheless, the most important part of the flirt is always maintaining an intention of respect. For me, that’s the sexiest form of flirting.
How about you? Do you like to flirt and do you think I’m out of control?