The Monkey Mind

Hola Everybody,

It’s been a great summer at least weather-wise. Don’t get caught up in the future. Enjoy the summer now while you still can. Sometimes it is our tendency to fantasize about the future or reminiscing on the past that makes us miss the present moment.

Monkey Mind

Just as a monkey swinging through the trees grabs one branch and lets it go only to seize another, so too, that which is called thought, mind or consciousness arises and disappears continually both day and night.
 -- The Buddha

Have you ever caught yourself comparing yourself to others? If I am honest, I have to admit that I have. At least I can sense the impulse -- the tendency -- to compare myself to others. This is a form of conceit. I define conceit as that activity of the mind that compares itself with others because all forms of this of thinking -- whether it is I’m better than or I’m less than or I’m just the same as -- is rooted in a feeling of self, or the “I am.” This conceit is probably one of the most deep-rooted forms of conditioning we possess. In Buddhism this type of internal activity is called the monkey mind.

Many people mistake insight for change, but this is a faulty notion. For example, we may understand that conceit may be rooted in a concept of a self that does not exist, but the habit to compare persists. The one thing that many discover early on their path is that what we normally call reality is actually only one aspect of a larger reality. There is a deeper experience outside of our individual experiences in the ebb and flow of our rushed lives. If you practice Buddhist meditation, for example, you quickly realize that the stream of thoughts we take to be ourselves is momentary -- fleeting and constantly changing. If we make the effort to experience this thought stream without identifying with it we realize very quickly that we definitely are not our thoughts.

The best antidote to conceit I have come across is to bring to it a clear awareness and focus on the fact that this stream of consciousness is constantly changing. I’ll give you an example of the monkey mind gone amok. While an undergraduate, I participated in an experiential exercise as part of a course. Part of the instruction was to in complete silence observe our thought-streams -- the internal dialogue -- without giving in to the habit of commenting or passing judgment. In effect, this was a form of meditation.

After a while, I noticed some people were jotting down notes in their notebooks. I quickly surmised that these people were doing this wrong. The instructions were clear: no communication, complete silence! After a while, I began to doubt myself and began thinking that maybe it was I who was getting it wrong: perhaps I was missing something essential that the note takers had grasped! Back and forth I went in this way until the exercise was over and I discovered that the note taking was neither right nor wrong. Some people were merely jotting down notes so that they would be able to relate the experience more accurately. Yet, I spent the whole time going ruminating over whether I had gotten it “right” in comparison to the others. LMAO!

I think what’s most useful is to begin to recognize that the comparing mind, the conceit of “I’m better than” or “I’m less than,” can be the source of a lot of insanity. It has the power to make us feel separated and apart from others and reinforces the myth of a separate self. I keep things simple and I follow the formula that love is an opening up, while fear is a contraction. The myth of a separate self is a psychological and physical contraction.

When we bring a clear awareness (not analysis!) to the monkey mind, we can begin to learn to be with it in a friendly way, without being caught up and identifying with it. When we experience the stream in this way, it simply becomes another empty thought, which we don’t have to condemn nor believe as they pass through the landscape of our mind like so many clouds. The mind stays free. Or as we used to say a long time ago: free your mind, your ass will follow.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

Sunday Sermon [Self Righteousness]

Hola Everybody…

I wrote this a while ago and a recent message from someone in my past (why must we replay the tapes, ya’ll? ::blank stare:: ) reminded me of the insidiously internal aggressiveness of self-righteousness.

* * *

The Unbearable Feeling of Separateness

Self righteousness is a loud din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us.

-- Eric Hoffer

            In the philosophical novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, author Milan Kundera challenges Nietzsche’s concept of eternal recurrence -- the idea that the universe and its events have already occurred and will recur infinitely. The novel’s themes put forward the alternative; that each person has only one life to live, and that which occurs in life occurs only once and never again (hence the “lightness” of being). On the contrary, the concept of eternal recurrence forces a “heaviness” on our lives and on the decisions we make (and gives them “weight.”) Nietzsche believed this heaviness could be either a tremendous burden or great benefit depending on the individual’s perspective.

            Following Kundera’s logic, life is insignificant, and decisions do not matter and therefore rendered light. “If we have only one life to live,” goes the saying, “we might as well not have lived at all.” The awareness of life occurring once and never again means our lives in themselves are insignificant. The insignificance of decisions -- our being -- causes us great suffering, perceived as the unbearable lightness of being. This insignificance is existentially unbearable when it is considered that people want their lives to have meaning.

I don’t agree with Kundera’s position, but I have to admit that the likelihood of our lives amounting to nothing but a grand Cosmic Joke( to which we all know the punchline) is an anxiety that lurks just underneath everyone’s consciousness (by the way, the book is an excellent read).

            In my experience our actions and thoughts and words send out karmic ripples that affect us, those we love, and humankind in general. In fact, these ripples become so intertwined with past ripples and the ripples of others that we could never fully know the full implications of our actions. That’s why intention is so important. But here again, I have to concede the well-worn cliche that enough of the roads of hell are paved with good intentions…

            I am not an upstanding citizen. I break rules, I swear, I am oftentimes vulgar, and I am no “giant” among humans. I never invented anything worthwhile, or have I liberated throngs of men and women. There have been many times I have acted immorally, cowardly even. I was not a good role model for my younger siblings and quite possibly influenced them in bad ways. I have manipulated, stole, cheated, lied, used women (and been used). At various times in my life I have been hopelessly addicted, a criminal, a failed pimp, institutionalized, and seen and done things most people never live to retell. When I die, a significant portion of those who will bother to remember me will remember me as an asshole, or even worse. And they will have good reason to. In short, I am no gentleman. Nor do I want to be one.

            I am no longer the same man I was 22 years ago, and I do try an ethically and morally grounded life. I no longer pillage and plunder, but what I follow (to the best of my ability)  are precepts, not commandments, and life is a work of art, not a set of sums. I find that I am much happier when I make an effort to remember my transgressions. It makes me less prone to self-righteousness. I made a promise to myself many years ago I would never become one of those self-righteous reformed motherfuckers, who after pillaging and plundering all their lives, now go around evangelizing their worldview. Most of us have met, at one time or another, a "former sinner" who today spends his or her time telling everyone else how to live, which God to believe in, and the so-called motherfuckin "Truth." Self-righteousness -- that essentially selfish human weakness of seeing yourself as separate -- is most evident in the hypocrite. If you do not believe me, take a closer look around you, read the signs.

            Eric Hoffer proposed that self-righteousness (and fanaticism) are rooted in self-hatred and insecurity. He believed that a passionate obsession with the private lives of other people is merely a cowardly attempt to compensate for a lack of character in one’s own life. A core principle of Hoffer's was his insight that mass movements are interchangeable; he notes fanatical Nazis later becoming fanatical Communists, fanatical Communists later becoming fanatical anti-Communists, and Saul, persecutor of Christians, becoming Paul, a fanatical Christian. You can see this dynamic at work with the teabaggers which is a continuation of the right wing’s racist Southern Strategy. For the “true believer” the substance of the mass movement isn’t so important as that they are part of that movement.

            I think as a society we exemplify the grabbing and holding for attention that comes from a lack of self-esteem. How else can you explain the right wing (or “reality” TV shows)? We do this even in our quest for a “relationship,” or love. Love is spoken about as if it could be possessed.

            We watch people with boundary issues humiliate themselves on national TV and say to ourselves, smugly:

            We are seduced by that inner voice that tells us,“I would never do that!”

            We hear of the downfall of an acquaintance or friend we note:

            “I’m better than him/ her!”

            Most people, when they think of selfishness, think of the drive to acquire material goods, but there are many other forms of selfishness. Self-righteousness is about holding all the attention we can get, or denying others the possibility of sharing with us in any community. For the fact remains, dear reader, that if your most humiliating or shameful action were written on your forehead, you would pull your cap low. All of us would.

            And to give you a real world example of what I am talking about, someone took exception to my sense of humor recently. anyone who knows me even just a little biut, knows that my sense of humor is warped and definitely “inappropriate.” Shit, I’ve my life’s mission to be inappropriate. Now check this out: the person who took exception? I later found out that the current person she’s living with was the consequence of her taking away from the man’s legal wife. Appropriate my fuckin balls!

            We like to represent ourselves as being noble or “right.” I don’t give a fuck about “right,” I am interested in exploring the many levels of truth. And if I were being truthful with myself, I would note I could never condescend to tell someone else what’s appropriate or inappropriate. I was a fuckin criminal at one time, how hypocritical would that be? We like to present to the world this carefully manufactured, oh-so-socially-acceptable image, but God forbid if this pretentious exercise actually included taking yourself out of your comfort zone. Listen champ: what if the status quo you're so desperately trying to mimic needs to be changed in order for a just social order to exist.

            The car: Big shit, so you're destroying our ecology in style. The diamonds? Mined by children in Africa who don't live past adulthood. That iPad? Most likely put together by a pregnant woman who has considered committing suicide rather than continue to be subjected to work conditions that no “appropriate” society shoud accept. Appropriate? Who the fuck really gives a fuckin good goddam what you deem appropriate?!! Look in the mirror, motherfuckers.

            This form of behavior illustrates my point on the drawbacks of hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Simply put, some people see themselves as separate from the rest and they compensate for their perceived lack by labeling others as different or “less than.” Some define themselves almost exclusively by how much different (and better) they are than others. Is this a reality?

            I will state right here that I’m not concerned with “convincing” anyone of my worldview. I don't give a fuck about what you consider appropriate. My concern is to explore and attempt to present the truth as well as I can. Most of the idiots who condemn without reason or rhyme will never be convinced of anything except of the forthrightness of their own foolishness. Their labors are a lot like swirling your finger around your anus and proclaiming the resulting stink perfume.

            The essential point here, my “larger” heart tells me, is that all of life is fragile and interconnected. We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with the fact that it is only when we look at the world purely through our ego-driven neuroses, that the world becomes fearful (or “inappropriate”). When we look at things from the mindset confined by self-righteous indignation we see only a void and the compulsive need to claim to be something better.

            My heart also tells me that if there is inequality, then the status quo needs to change. What if social acceptability isn't so goddamned acceptable? My conforming within the confines of social acceptability doesn’t equal growth. Just because I act as a gentleman, doesn’t mean I am evolving as a man, as a human being, as part of the evolutionary process. And don’t tell me I can come to your table only on your terms. That’s bullshit -- total hypocritical bullshit.

            My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

Sunday Sermon [Self Righteousness]

¡Hola! Everybody…
It is in those moments when life gets most difficult that we have to remind ourselves to continue to relish the sweetness of its fruits…

* * *

-=[ The Unbearable Feeling of Separateness ]=-

Self righteousness is a loud din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us.
-- Eric Hoffer

In the philosophical novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, author Milan Kundera challenges Nietzsche’s concept of eternal recurrence -- the idea that the universe and its events have already occurred and will recur infinitely. The novel’s themes put forward the alternative; that each person has only one life to live, and that which occurs in life occurs only once and never again (hence the “lightness” of being). On the contrary, the concept of eternal recurrence forces a “heaviness” on our lives and on the decisions we make (and gives them “weight.”) Nietzsche believed this heaviness could be either a tremendous burden or great benefit depending on the individual’s perspective.

Following Kundera’s logic, life is insignificant, and decisions do not matter and therefore rendered light. “If we have only one life to live,” goes the saying, “we might as well not have lived at all.” The awareness of life occurring once and never again means our lives in themselves are insignificant. The insignificance of decisions -- our being -- causes us great suffering, perceived as the unbearable lightness of being. This insignificance is existentially unbearable when it is considered that people want their lives to have meaning.

I don’t agree with Kundera’s position, but I have to admit that the likelihood of our lives amounting to nothing but a grand Cosmic Joke( to which we all know the punchline) is an anxiety that lurks just underneath everyone’s consciousness (by the way, the book is an excellent read).

In my experience our actions and thoughts and words send out karmic ripples that affect us, those we love, and humankind in general. In fact, these ripples become so intertwined with past ripples and the ripples of others that we could never fully know the full implications of our actions. That’s why intention is so important. But here again, I have to concede the well-worn cliche that enough of the roads of hell are paved with good intentions…

I am not an upstanding citizen. I break rules, I swear, I am oftentimes vulgar, and I am no “giant” among humans. I never invented anything worthwhile, or have I liberated throngs of men and women. There have been many times I have acted immorally, cowardly even. I was not a good role model for my younger siblings and quite possibly influenced them in bad ways. I have manipulated, stole, cheated, lied, used women (and been used). At various times in my life I have been hopelessly addicted, a criminal, a failed pimp, institutionalized, and seen and done things most people never live to retell. When I die, a significant portion of those who will bother to remember me will remember me as an asshole, or even worse. And they will have good reason to. In short, I am no gentleman. Nor do I want to be one.

I am no longer the same man I was 20 years ago, and I do try live my life in an ethically and morally grounded manner. I no longer pillager and plunder, but these are precepts, not commandments, and life is a work of art, not a set of sums. I find that I am much happier when I make an effort to remember my transgressions. It makes me less self-righteous. I made a promise to myself many years ago I would never become one of those self-righteous reformed motherfuckers. We have met, at one time or another, a "former sinner" who today spends his or her time telling everyone else how to live, which God to believe in, and the so-called motherfuckin "Truth." Self-righteousness -- that essentially selfish human weakness of seeing yourself as separate -- is most evident in the hypocrite. If you do not believe me, take a closer look around you, read the signs.

Eric Hoffer proposed that self-righteousness (and fanaticism) are rooted in self-hatred and insecurity. He believed that a passionate obsession with the private lives of other people is merely a cowardly attempt to compensate for a lack of character in one’s own life. A core principle of Hoffer's was his insight that mass movements are interchangeable; he notes fanatical Nazis later becoming fanatical Communists, fanatical Communists later becoming fanatical anti-Communists, and Saul, persecutor of Christians, becoming Paul, a fanatical Christian. You can see this dynamic at work with the teabaggers which is a continuation of the right wing’s racist Southern Strategy. For the “true believer” the substance of the mass movement isn’t so important as that they are part of that movement.

I think as a society we exemplify the grabbing and holding for attention that comes from a lack of self-esteem. How else can you explain the right wing (or “reality” TV shows)? We do this even in our quest for a “relationship,” or love. Love is spoken about as if it could be possessed.

“Me! Mine!”

We watch people with boundary issues humiliate themselves on national TV and say to ourselves, smugly:

“I would never do that!”

We hear of the downfall of an acquaintance or friend we note:

“I’m better than him/ her!”

Most people, when they think of selfishness, think of the drive to acquire material goods, but there are many other forms of selfishness. Self-righteousness is about holding all the attention we can get, or denying others the possibility of sharing with us in any community. For the fact remains that if your most humiliation or shameful action were written on your forehead, you would pull your cap low. All of us would.

We like to represent ourselves as being noble or “right.” I don’t give a fuck about “right,” I am interested in exploring the many levels of truth. And if I were being truthful to my self, I would note I could never deign to tell someone else what’s appropriate or inappropriate. I was a fuckin criminal at one time, how hypocritical would that be? We like to present to the world this carefully manufactured, oh-so-socially-acceptable image, but God forbid if this pretentious exercise actually included taking yourself out of your comfort zone. Listen champ: what if the status quo you're so desperately trying to mimic needs to be changed in order for a just social order to exist?

The car: Big shit, so you're destroying our ecology in style. The diamonds? Mined by children who don't live past adulthood somewhere in Africa. That iPad? Put together by a pregnant woman in who committed suicide rather than continue to be subjected to work conditions that no civil society would accept. Appropriate? Who the fuck really gives a fuckin good goddam what you deem appropriate?!! Look in the mirror, motherfuckers.

This form of behavior illustrates my point on the drawbacks of hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Simply put, some people see themselves as separate from the rest and they compensate for their perceived lack by labeling others as different or “less than.” Some define themselves almost exclusively by how much different (and better) they are than others. Is this a reality?

I will state right here that I’m not concerned with “convincing” anyone of my worldview. I don't give a fuck about what you consider appropriate. My concern is to explore and attempt to present the truth as well as I can. Most of the idiots who condemn without reason or rhyme will never be convinced of anything except of the forthrightness of their own foolishness. It's a lot like swirling your finger around your anus and proclaiming that stink perfume.

The essential point here, my “larger” heart tells me, is that all of life is fragile and interconnected. We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with the fact that it is only when we look at the world purely through our ego-driven neuroses, that the world becomes fearful (or "inappropriate"). When we look at things from the perspective of self-righteous indignation we see only a void and the compulsive need to claim to be something better.

My heart also tells me that if there is inequality, then the status quo needs to change. What if social acceptability isn't so goddamned acceptable? My conforming within the confines of social acceptability doesn’t equal growth. Just because I act as a gentleman, doesn’t mean I am evolving as a man, as a human being, as part of the evolutionary process. And don’t tell me I can come to your table only on your terms. That’s bullshit -- hypocritical bullshit.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery fro civilization…

Self-Righteousness

¡Hola! Everybody...
When will we learn to look at our own shit before judging other people's shit? Scratch ‘n’ sniff ma’ufccas!

***

-=[ Self-Righteousness ]=-

Self-righteous indignation is the loud din created to drown out our own guilt.

Self-righteousness -- that essentially selfish human weakness of seeing yourself as separate -- is most evident in the hypocrite. If you do not believe me, take a closer look around you, read the signs.

I think as a society we exemplify the grabbing and holding for attention that comes with the narrow focus on self. How else can you explain “reality” TV shows? We do this even in our quest for a “relationship,” or love. Love is spoken about as if it could be possessed.

“Me! Mine!”

“I would never do that!”

“I’m better than him/ her!”

Most people, when they think of selfishness, think of the drive to acquire material goods, but there are many other forms of selfishness. Self-righteousness is about holding all the attention we can get, or denying others the possibility of sharing with us in any community.

We like to represent ourselves as being for equality, that we should all get along. But God forbid this getting along includes taking you out of your comfort zone, or if the status quo needs to be changed in order for real unity to exist. On the other hand, there are always the annoying “allegations,” the malicious gossip, the exclusion/ inclusion of certain individuals based on I don’t know what, the “the nerve of him/ her,” “he’s this or that… ”

Sssssssssssshhhhhh… hear that... ?

If you listen closely, you can hear the whispers. Those are definitely not coquis boys and girls! LOL

It would be funny if it weren’t so tragic, or at least sad. My question is this: why so much energy on obfuscation? What is the motivation there? Whenever I see the pointing of fingers and the moralizing, I am reminded of the Clinton/ Lewinsky affair and how it turned out later that the most vocal of the moralists, those who condemned and railed the most, had more than a few skeletons (“youthful indiscretions”) in their own closets.

The reason why I bring this up is that I feel this form of behavior illustrates my point of the drawbacks of hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Simply put, some people see themselves as separate from you or me, they perceive us as a threat, or as “less than.” For some people, they define themselves almost exclusively as how much different (and better) they are than others. Is this a reality or the consequences of a weak self-esteem and insecurity?

Point out racism and that makes one a racist because (OMG!) the sheeple believe the election of an African-American president means racism no longer exists.

Point out the connection between White Nationalist fascist ideology, Tea Baggers, and recent violence and I guess that also makes me a racist.

Lemme see: if I were to point out the emperor’s nakedness, then that would make a nudist too, right?!! LOL!

This is hypocrisy, plain and simple…

Fact is this: not one of these people knows me in any significant manner -- never even met me in person. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop the allegations, the gossip, and all the other bullshit. In terms of debate? A debate presupposes that you come to the table with an adequate understanding of the components of an argument. Something I don’t see in use around here. And no, just stating something does not constitute an argument.

I will state right here that I’m not concerned with “convincing” anyone of my worldview. My concern is to attempt to present the truth as well as I can. Most of the idiots who condemn without reason or rhyme will never be convinced of anything except of the forthrightness of their own foolishness.

The essential point here, my “larger” heart tells me, is that all of life is fragile and interconnected. We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with the fact that it is only when we look at the world purely through our ego-driven neuroses, that the world becomes fearful. When we look at things from the perspective of the “mini me,” we see only a void and a need to be something better.

My heart also tells me that if there is inequality, then the status quo needs to change. Don’t tell me I can come to your table only on your terms. That’s bullshit -- hypocritical bullshit.

Love,

Eddie