Kanye, Anal Play, and Men

Hola Everybody...

The Friday Sex Blog is an attempt at mature (and sometimes not so mature) talk about sex mostly from my perspective as a hetero Latino male. I have always tried to be inclusive or pluralistic in my presentations. IOW, I have tried to include the cultural and social perspectives of others, as best I could. However, as with all human beings, my perspective is limited.

* * *

Anal Play and Men

Before reading on, please take a look at the following short skit. It’s from a show I really enjoyed, “Lucky Louie,” on HBO:

LMAOOO! Too funny! I love it!

Recently, in response to a string of tweets by Kanye West that entailed all kinds of shit, including slut-shaming his ex, for her past as a sex worker, Amber Rose went public about her anal play on Kanye’s booty:

This made things really interesting because it got everybody thinking about anal play. In fact, the hash tag, #KanyeAnalPlaylist trended for quite some time and Kanye’s defense (what else could he do?) was lame. There are two ways to look at this. One, Rose was justified for bringing this up because of Kanye’s misogynistic slut-shaming. On the other hand, another way of looking it is to note the degree to how pernicious a force homophobia remains that an artist so outwardly secure in his sexuality can be so publicly shamed for a sex act that doesn’t even qualify as gay.

But you really cannot blame Kanye because, as a rule, straight men are extremely anxious about anything going near their anus because stereotypes dictate that any man that admits to liking his anus (or prostate) stimulated is (gasp!) a homosexual. The fact is that a sexual act does not constitute ones sexual orientation. In fact, one study I read stated that not all male gay couples engage in anal sex. In any case, enjoying a specific sex act does not make you gay or straight. As a society we have an erroneous assumption tying genitals to sexual orientation.

This is simply ignorant, close-minded thinking. Actually, homophobia has been interpreted to be a form of homoerotic wish fulfillment. That’s right, homophobic men (as quantified by psychological measures) were the ones most turned on by gay porn. These are the same guys who like to make jokes about “taking it up the ass” and questioning the masculinity of other men. More concerning, I believe the reason why so many men of color die needlessly from prostate cancer is because of this cultural taboo regarding the male anus.

As with most things, sexual likes and dislikes are culturally conditioned. If you were raised in a society in which the ideal of masculinity was measured in how adept men were at getting things shoved up their ass, there probably would be a Super Bowl celebrating the best at performing the act. You doubt me? Well, apply some logic to this issue. If you are inflexible in this cultural context, then you would most likely be as inflexible in another cultural context. If cultural norms dictated shoving things up your ass, you would be shoving things up your ass without question. Probably would be proud of it too.

There’s a biological premise for pleasurable anal play. There are two pleasurable spots in and around a man’s anus. The first location is the anus itself: it is very sensitive, surrounded by a dense mass of nerve bundles. The second is the prostate gland, located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

As with the case of Kanye, most men are not very open to experimentation around this area, as enjoying it may make them question their masculinity. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding. In any case, if you are interested in exploring this form of sexing, make sure to communicate with your partner in order to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up (sorry) to the idea by exploring the area gently with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him an orgasm that is reportedly tremendously intense. Most men are unaware of the intense orgasms experienced via this technique and many who do, often like it though they loathe admitting it.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

PS: SEX -- even anal sex -- is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Divine Fire and Anal Sex Play for Men]

Hola Everybody...
The Friday Sex Blog is an attempt at mature (and sometimes not so mature) talk about sex mostly from my perspective as a hetero Latino male. I have always tried to be inclusive or pluralistic in my presentations. IOW, I have tried to include the cultural and social perspectives of others, as best I could. However, as with all human beings, my perspective is limited.

* * *

Semen Retention

Okay! Before I go into the meat (pun unintended) of today’s post, I would like to mention an interesting observation. In ancient China, emperors often called on sages, mostly Taoist sages, for sexual advice. However, before accepting any advice, the sage had to go through a test. The emperor required any prospective master to prove his sexual control. He did this by offering the would-be advisor a full glass of wine and demanding the sage insert his penis into it. If he was truly a master, the story goes, he could absorb the wine into his penis and then release it back into the wine glass. This was taken as absolute proof that the sage could absorb a woman’s yin essence and therefore know the secret to immortality.

Don’t laugh: the practice of absorbing fluid into the penis is quite real, and can still be witnessed on the streets of India today. One yogi in Bombay actually sucks up oil into his penis in private and then publicly lights it on fire as he urinates it out! He claims it as divine fire. Imagine that ladies! LMAOOO! Over the past two years, I’ve been engaged in the process of learning this technique, so I might just light your ass on fire if you request it… 

Kidding!

This yogic suction technique is one that many people confuse with the true practice of semen retention. I will write more about from the perspective of my experiences. Eventually, imma need a partner.

* * *

Anal Play for Men

Before reading on, please take a look at the following short skit. It’s from a show I really enjoyed, “Lucky Louie,” on HBO:

LMAOOO! Too funny! I love it!

As a rule, men are extremely anxious about anything going near their anus because stereotypes dictate that any man that admits to liking his anus stimulated is a “faggot.” The fact is that a sexual act does not constitute ones sexual orientation. In fact, one study I read stated that not all gay couples engage in anal sex. In any case, enjoying a certain sex act does not make you gay. That’s just ignorant, close-minded thinking. Actually, homophobia has been interpreted to be a form of homoerotic wish fulfillment. That’s right, homophobic men (as quantified by psychological measures) were the ones most turned on by gay porn. These are the guys who like to make jokes about “taking it up the ass” and questioning the masculinity of other men.

This is why I laughed when “e-thugs” with fake-ass names used to come to my blogs and post responses detailing their elaborate fantasies about me being raped in prison… In any case, as in most things sexual, likes and dislikes are culturally conditioned. If you were raised in a society were “real men” took it up the ass, men would be taking it up the ass and bragging about it, so stop your bullshit now. Shit, there would probably be a Super Bowl about it. LOL You doubt me? Well, apply some logic to this issue. If you’re inflexible in this cultural context, then you would most likely be as inflexible in another cultural context.

There’s a biological premise for pleasurable anal play. There are two pleasurable spots in and around a man’s anus. The first location is the anus itself: it is very sensitive, surrounded by a dense mass of nerve bundles. The second is the prostate gland, located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

As I mentioned earlier, some men are not very open to experimentation around this area, as enjoying it may make them question their masculinity. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today’s society. In any case, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area gently with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him a tremendously intense orgasm. Most men are unaware of the intense orgasms experienced via this technique and many who do, often like it though they loathe admitting it.

As with all anal play, cleanliness is essential. A bath or a shower is a great way to start things off, setting the tone for the festivities. If your man is an anal virgin, you can celebrate his deflowering by making it a “special” occasion. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times. Lubrication is extremely important and you can never use too much. Also, be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin and can be easily torn by sharp objects. 

Once you get him lubricated, you want to start by taking it easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will instinctually tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and gradually move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: gentle twisting, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.

Analingus, licking the anal area (known colloquially as “tossing salad”), is another form of anal play. Perhaps this would be a better introduction into playing with your man’s anus. Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different than licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in, build up to it, and allow your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio (aka smoking that cock). This area is very sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate. 

Access to his anus is a little more problematic than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal: lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his ass up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.

Finally, there’s anal intercourse. Now, anal sex is quite a different ball of wax than using your finger. Oh boy! Man gotta really trust you for this one. Imagine if you separate and you blast it on Facebook or some other social media that he let you ream his asshole?!! LOL! Seriously, even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are copious amounts of lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach. Yeah, seduce the motherfucker.

Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time. 

There are women who enjoy anal play and some use butt plugs. A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs convey, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus. 

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long. Beads are also some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into and introduce anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which point the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is almost too intense to handle. It is suggested starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced. 

Again, like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

So there you go. Now go out there, girls, and ride your men good and hard!

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

PS: SEX -- even anal sex -- is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Divine Fire and Anal Sex Play for Men]

¡Hola! Everybody...
The Friday Sex Blog is an attempt at mature (and sometimes humorous) talk about sex mostly from my perspective as a hetero Latino male. I have always tried to be inclusive or pluralistic in my presentations. IOW, I have tried to include the cultural and social perspectives of others, as best I could. However, as with all human beings, my perspective is limited.

* * *

-=[ Semen Retention ]=-

Okay! Before I go into the meat (pun unintended) of today’s post, I would like to mention an interesting observation. In ancient China, emperors often called on sages, mostly Taoist sages, for sexual advice. However, before accepting any advice, the sage had to go through a test. The emperor required any prospective master to prove his sexual control. He did this by offering the would-be advisor a full glass of wine and demanding the sage insert his penis into it. If he was truly a master, the story goes, he could absorb the wine into his penis and then release it back into the wine glass. This was taken as absolute proof that the sage could absorb a woman’s yin essence and therefore know the secret to immortality.

Don’t laugh: the practice of absorbing fluid into the penis is quite real, and can still be witnessed on the streets of India today. One yogi in Bombay actually sucks up oil into his penis in private and then publicly lights it on fire as he urinates it out! He claims it as divine fire. Imagine that ladies! LMAOOO! Over the past two years, I’ve been engaged in the process of learning this technique, so I might just light your ass on fire if you request it…

Kidding!

This yogic suction technique is one that many people confuse with the true practice of semen retention. I will write more about from the perspective of my experiences. Eventually, imma need a partner. ::wink::

* * *

-=[ Anal Play for Men ]=-

Before reading on, please take a look at the following short skit. It’s from a show I really enjoyed, “Lucky Louie,” on HBO:

LMAOOO! Too funny! I love it!

Men are extremely anxious about anything going near their anus because stereotypes dictate that any man that admits to liking his anus stimulated is a “faggot.” The fact is that a sexual act does not constitute a sexual orientation. In fact, one study I read stated that not all gay couples engage in anal sex. In any case, enjoying a certain sex act does not make you gay. That’s just ignorant, close-minded thinking. Actually, homophobia has been shown to be a form of homoerotic wish fulfillment. That’s right, homophobic men (as quantified by psychological measures) were the ones most turned on by gay porn. These are the guys who like to make jokes about "taking it up the ass" and questioning the "masculinity" of other men. LOL!

Which is why I laugh when the sock puppets with fake-ass names come here and post responses detailing their elaborate fantasies about me being raped in prison… In any case, as in most things sexual, likes and dislikes are culturally conditioned. If you were raised in a society were “real mean” took it up the ass, men would be taking it up the ass and bragging about it, so stop your bullshit now. Shit, there would probably be a Super Bowl about it. LOL You doubt me? Well, apply some logic to this issue. If you’re inflexible in this cultural context, then you would most likely be as inflexible in another cultural context.

Hmmmmm…

There’s a biological premise for pleasurable anal play. There are two pleasurable spots in and around a man’s anus. The first location is the anus itself: it is very sensitive, surrounded by a dense mass of nerve bundles. The second is the prostate gland, located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

As I mentioned earlier, some men are not very open to experimentation around this area, as enjoying it may make them question their sexuality. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today’s society. In any case, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area gently with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him a tremendously intense orgasm. Most men are unaware of the intense orgasms experienced via this technique and many who do, often like it though they're loathe to admit it outwardly.

As with all anal play, cleanliness is essential. A bath or a shower is a great way to start things off, setting the tone for the festivities. If your man is an anal virgin, you can celebrate his deflowering by making it a “special” occasion. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times. Lubrication is extremely important and you can never use too much. Also, be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin and can be easily torn by sharp objects.

Once you get him lubricated, you want to start by taking it really easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will instinctually tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and gradually move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: twisting your hand, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.

Analingus, licking the anal area, is another form of anal play. Perhaps this would be a better introduction into playing with your man’s anus. Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different then licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in, build up to it and allow for your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio (aka smoking that cock). This area is very sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate.

Access to his anus is a little more problematic than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal: lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his ass up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.

Finally, there’s anal intercourse. Now, anal sex is quite a different ball of wax than using your finger. Oh boy! Man gotta really trust you for this one. Imagine if you separate and you blast it on Facebook or some other social media that he let you ream his asshole?!! LOL! Seriously, even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are copious amounts of lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach.

Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time.

There are women who enjoy anal play and some use butt plugs. A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs convey, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus.

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long. Beads are some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into and introduce anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which point the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is almost too intense to handle. It is suggested starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced.

Again, like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

So there you go! Now go out there girls and fuck your men good and hard! LOL!

Love,

Eddie

PS: SEX -- even anal sex -- is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Anal Sex, pt. II]

¡Hola! Everybody…
As promised, The Big Taboo!

* * *

-=[ Do it in The Butt ]=-

Let me be your backdoor man!
-- Led Zeppelin, Whole Lotta Love

As I mentioned last week the amount of tension surrounding anal sex is probably directly proportionate to the amount of tension stored up in America’s collective butt hole muscles. Our culture has conditioned us since infancy not to play with our assholes and to clench them tight when we feel sensation in our nether regions. And we clench tighter and deeper when we are stressed. In fact, there’s a direct correlation between political conservatism and anal retentive personalities (e.g., tight asses). Ever run into conservatives who are adamant that the Bible or the Constitution can only be interpreted literally? Also children raised by strict conservative parents who favor physical beatings as a parenting tool, often develop anal-stage complexes.

Anyway, No wonder anal sex is difficult and no wonder it’s hard for some to think of the butt hole as sexy. However, more and more people are discovering that anal pleasure can be amazing, and are embracing it as part of their sexual ritual.

There are many advantages to anal sex. For one, there are a ton of nerve endings surrounding the anus -- far more than there are around the vagina. As one former mentor put it, “If the vaginal opening had as many nerve endings as the anus, no woman in her right mind would give birth.” What all those nerves signify is that there exists opportunities for sensational pure pleasure. In addition, if you learn how to work your anal muscles, there are some medical advantages:

• You can finally release that “tight-ass” tension (and perhaps free yourself politically in the process).
• You can tone the muscles and help fight constipation and hemorrhoids.
• You’ll get the ole sphincter muscles in top form, which helps prevent incontinence later. Contrary to the ignorant urban myth that anal sex will put you in danger of needing adult diapers, done correctly it actually makes your ass healthier.

Now let’s get down to the real nitty gritty of anal sex and that’s the issue of pain. First, anal sex shouldn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable. If it does, stop and start some other day. People assume that anal sex is painful, but the fact is, if you’re careful and patient, it shouldn’t be. Some people resign themselves to the inevitable pain and adopt the attitude they just need to numb the pain and endure anal sex. There are creams on the market for this but I would advise against them. Anal sex should be felt and enjoyed, not numbed and endured.

In addition, pain is the body’s natural response to trauma, so numbing the area can in some cases stop you from knowing something is wrong and before you know, Eddie done broke your ass (kidding!). Another thing about pain: anal sex can give you new and unusual experiences. Sometimes new or unusual experiences are initially registered as pain because you’re a little freaked out. When you’re exploring the pleasures of anal sex and some alarm bells are going off, try and ask yourself (before calling 911), “Does this hurt or just feel weird?” If the answer is “It just feels weird,” then keep going. Stop if it hurts.

If you’re contemplating anal sex with your partner, consider trying it alone first. In this way, you can gently address your fears, discover your boundaries, and get comfortable with the sensations. Afraid of a mess? While there’s no basis for this, sometimes perception trumps reality, you can ry it the bathtub. Do you think it’s dirty? Then put on a glove or condom on your hand. Here are some helpful tips for the newbie (I run anal sex workshops, if you’re interested -- women only! LOL):

Lube. Lube. And more lube!

Use a butt plug or other sex toy, make sure it has a flared base so you can always get it out (your ass will suck it otherwise -- see? It fits!).

Try some regular masturbation to help you get in an erotic mood.

Add some lube, deep breathing, and anal massage to your self-pleasuring. Just remember never to insert you fingers into your vagina after you have inserted them into your asshole. A good suggestion is to use two hands one for the chocha and one for the culo. Do this until you feel sexually aroused and relaxed.

Bring the pad of a finger or top of a small sex toy to the anal opening and rest it there while you inhale and bear down like you are trying to shit.

Exhale and let the toy or finger slide in. If it hurts (not just feels weird, but hurts), back it out a little. Or stop altogether until you feel like trying again.

If an object is inserted into your rectum but seems to hit a wall about four inches in, then gently pull the toy out and try angling up toward your belly. You have to honor and follow the curve of your rectum.

Wiggle, slowly thrust, or other wise play until you’ve had enough.

Call me, or blast your latest anal adventure on your Facebook page! (LMAOOO!).

Love,

Eddie

The Friday Sex Blog [Anal Sex/ Play 101]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Later today, go by the online magazine, Subversify, and check out my piece on liberation via education (click here and look for my by-line).

Right now? One of my fave topics ::grin::

* * *

-=[ A Woman’s Behind ]=-

Ladies… your anus is right down the block from your vagina, so it would be downright sacrilegious to ignore it. Besides, your ass is my object of worship -- my most unorthodox of altars. Allow me to introduce you to your ass.

Blood flow, nerves, and the “love muscle” (the pubococcygeus muscle) all connect the va-jay-jay hole to the asshole. So why not give it a little love? Self-knowledge, in this case understanding the parts, will help you understand how to make it feel good and thereby liberating your ass…

In our culture, we hold a great deal of tension in our ass muscles, including our sphincters. The term “tight ass” was coined for a reason. In fact, conservatives who vehemently believe in corporal punishment often grow up to be tight asses. They also often confuse obsessive clenching of their anal sphincters for critical thinking. LOL! Actually, there is some truth in that those who are raised by overly strict, punishing parents do have a tendency toward anal retentive personalities.

I happen to think the cheeks are one of the great architectural features of a woman’s anatomy. Those twin orbs sheltering that dark, sweet mysterious place... The cheeks are the muscular padding you sit on. The cheeks call for a different kind of touch than the genitals or anus. Kneading and massaging them results in a good feeling. This also helps get the blood flowing and relaxes the tender, more sensitive parts. A good smack on the lower ass (be sure to keep your hand pressed after the smack) resonates nicely all through the genitals.

The strip of skin between the vagina and the anus in women (or the balls and anus in men) is called the perineum. A friend used to call it the taint. It’s a very sensitive area and unfortunately often ignored. It’s a great spot to massage or tickle with a vibrator (I like to do it with my tongue).

Next is that divine gateway to heaven, the anus. The anus is the opening that leads to the rectum and then the colon. This area is densely packed with nerves and sensory receptors -- so licking and massaging in that areas feels great. When the anus is worshiped properly, excited and relaxed, blood flows to the area, and it even puckers out a bit. The outer sphincter muscle is a muscular ring mostly under your control. It lets you decide when and where to take a dump. In order to pass through this gate, it needs a lot of love (and lube!).

The internal sphincter muscle is a muscular ring that can open and close much like the drawstring of your laundry bag. Located about an inch inside the anus, it lets you know when the poop has arrived and is ready to be pinched off. The inner sphincter, unlike the outer sphincter, is not a voluntary muscle. It does its work automatically. In fact, its response to unwanted poking is to tighten up and even hurting. This ring really needs to be relaxed and happy (and lubed) in order for a toy/ finger/ my penis to get through.

The rectum is the chamber just inside the outer sphincters. It goes about eight inches in a shallow S-curve up to the colon. The wall between the rectum and the vagina is thin enough that you can feel through it. Many people like the feeling of being filled when the rectal walls are holding something like a finger, butt plug, dildo, or penis. Normally, the rectum is empty. The shit resides further up in the colon until its time fro release arrives. Yes, there can be traces of shit in the rectum, but nothing you can’t wash off with a little soap and water. Some people use a warm water anal douche in order to be extra clean. Usually, however, a shower beforehand is more than sufficient.

Anal play can go a long way in helping you release some of the tension that settles around your ass area. Anal play doesn’t have to be penetration -- a little lubed massage, for example, can be a great treat in itself. Think of a good shoulder rub after a particularly hard and stressful day. And please let go of the myth that anal sex causes incontinence -- that’s just plain bullshit. The fact of the matter is that the opposite is true. Gentle stimulation and exercise of the sphincters will result in keeping those muscles working longer and better toned, letting you bypass the Depends aisle in your later years.

Unfortunately, most men have no clue as to how to go about worshiping the ass, in the process traumatizing millions of women. This makes it harder for connoisseurs such as me to fully enjoy the female ass. Shame on you dumb motherfuckers! So, in the interest of helping you out, I’ll make a few important mentions here. First, the anus is a great place to play, but you can’t treat it like a vagina. Keep the following in mind these vital differences during anal play:

The anus does not create its own lubrication. Adding extra lube is a must. Don’t spit on your hand you stupid, stupid idiot! Saliva won’t do it, and spit dries up quickly.

The tissues of the anus and rectum are thinner and more harmed than those in the vagina. Even the slightest hangnail can leave a significant scratch, and scratches in that part of the body are more likely to bleed. STDs are easier to transmit through the anus as well.

Finally, using sex toys on your ass is great fun, but please be careful to use only toys with flared ends or strings for easy removal. The anus doesn’t have a back wall for safety like the vagina does -- it goes on and on, up into the rectum, which then leads to the colon.

Okay, this was an “Ass 101” post. Next, I will address anal sex/ play in more detail in the following sex blog, so stay tuned. And believe me: once I get through with you, even the most traumatized woman will at least consider some anal play.

With love,

Eddie