Relationship Thursdays [Masculine Essence]

Hola mi Gente,

At one time I developed a “relationship workshop” for people in transition from active addiction. My rationale being that learning to navigate relationships is something we do not teach people who often relapse due to broken relationships. Of course, my workshop is really about the most important of all relationships -- the relationship with over selves.

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Men & Relationships

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

 -- Elaine Boosler

OK, before I start this one I need to make it clear that I’m starting from the assumption that I’m talking about reasonably adjusted men and women. I know both sides of the Love Wars will give me blank stares, but it’s true: there are evolved men and women out there -- somewhere.

Secondly, when I speak of masculine essence, I am not referring to men exclusively. Similarly, when I speak of feminine essence, I am speaking exclusively about women. Though it is true that most men are of a masculine essence and most women are of a feminine essence. It really doesn’t have anything to with sexual orientation or gender roles.

Rather think of these terms as another way to talk about yin and yang, the two principles in Taoism, one feminine (yin) and one masculine (yang) whose interaction influences our reality. Yin and yang are also the starting point for change. When something is whole, by definition it is unchanging and complete. So when you split something into two halves (yin/ yang) it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness. This compels both halves to chase after each other as they seek a new balance with each other: 

I guess you might ask not just call it yin/ yang, right? Well, there is a reason for that, but I need to come to terms with these definitions at some other time. For now, I think if we accept that these energies create a polarity, our “conversation” can continue. 

There are times in your life when you hear something. I mean really hear something and it stays with you, changes your perspective. Sometimes it is negative and sometimes it is something positive. This is why words (or text) can be used to hurt or heal. Language is a powerful tool.

One day I had such an experience. At the time was involved in a long-term, committed relationship (yes, someone dared LOL!). My partner had been going through a particularly difficult phase at her job and it had been taking its toll on her. My ex was the type that tends to internalize problems to the extent that some things made her physically ill. As the good and dutiful partner, I was there for her when she came home and needed to vent or just talk. You know the deal: you are in a relationship and after dinner and the dishes have been done, and the house monkey(s) put to bed, you it or lay together and you go over the day. It’s part of being in a relationship and probably something that many people miss (I don’t… kidding!).

For some time my ex’s job issues had dominated those late night discussion and I honestly did not mind, it felt good that I could be there for her. But this went on for a while, and we (really me) had had some “solution-centered” discussions. Still, the problem at her job stayed firmly entrenched.

One day she called me from work nearly in tears and started telling me about some new horror and I really felt her pain. It made me crazy that she was going through all that needless insanity. So I did what many men sometimes do: I went into a long, detailed, well-thought-out analysis of her problem complete with escape clauses, solutions -- well everything her problem needed. I was so happy, because I felt as if I had done something really great. And truth be told, I had given this a lot of thought. In my mind, I had “fixed” the problem. I was beside myself! I was so excited I became hard!

Then I noticed that there was complete silence on the other end of the line. Hello, are you there hun? I thought to myself.

Silence… 

Now, I admit to being extremely dense but I know silences -- especially relationship silences -- and this wasn’t a good relationship silence. This wasn’t an “I-took-her-breath-away-with-my-brilliance” silence. This was a foreboding silence, a “you-ain’t-getting-next-to-me-tonight-(or ever)” silence. So, I did the next thing many men do and asked if there was anything wrong. My ex answered in a somber, almost exhausted, patient tone usually reserved for clueless children we all love and I never forgot what she said. Don’t get me wrong, I had heard similar things in previous relationships, but for some reason this time it hit home. Her words were something to the effect of, If had wanted to call someone to fix my problem, I could’ve done that with a number of people. In fact, I’m a professional and despite what you may or may not think, I can handle myself quite well. I called you because I wanted to call someone to be there for me, not fix my problem.

DANG!

Perhaps for people reading this, the above may not seem earth-shattering, but for me it was an epiphany. I mean, all I had to do was listen? Be there for her? Not fix anything?! I never knew!

Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic here, but her response actually took me for a loop. You see, as someone with a masculine essence, my tendency is to fix things. That’s what I do, I solve problems. I was like, Fuck all that talk shit, honey, let’s go break down some doors and take no prisoners. LOL My ex did not want to be fixed. In fact, I discovered, she did not like it when I went into “fix mode,” as she put it. What she wanted, I realized, was to feel my love, to experience my acceptance, to feel my caring for her. Instead, what she felt was my poking, looking for a loose screw here, a stuck emotion there.

The lesson is one I’m still learning. What I learned is that when the masculine truly understands the feminine heart, the need for probing and problem-solving is put aside. Instead, maybe a caring embrace is called for, or I might dance her around the room, or gently stroke here cheek, or tell her how much I love her. What I learned is that continuing give her my playful love and sensitivity opens her heart and she eventually radiates happiness. Then, if there are details in her life or the relationship that we need to deal with, we can do so without the noise or confusion. Rather than trying to fix things, I learned, I can apply my masculine sense of mission and direction to dealing with our lives in the world.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

Labels: relationships, Taoism, sexual polarity, essence, communication, Tantra

The Friday Sex Blog [Divine Fire and Anal Sex Play for Men]

Hola Everybody...
The Friday Sex Blog is an attempt at mature (and sometimes not so mature) talk about sex mostly from my perspective as a hetero Latino male. I have always tried to be inclusive or pluralistic in my presentations. IOW, I have tried to include the cultural and social perspectives of others, as best I could. However, as with all human beings, my perspective is limited.

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Semen Retention

Okay! Before I go into the meat (pun unintended) of today’s post, I would like to mention an interesting observation. In ancient China, emperors often called on sages, mostly Taoist sages, for sexual advice. However, before accepting any advice, the sage had to go through a test. The emperor required any prospective master to prove his sexual control. He did this by offering the would-be advisor a full glass of wine and demanding the sage insert his penis into it. If he was truly a master, the story goes, he could absorb the wine into his penis and then release it back into the wine glass. This was taken as absolute proof that the sage could absorb a woman’s yin essence and therefore know the secret to immortality.

Don’t laugh: the practice of absorbing fluid into the penis is quite real, and can still be witnessed on the streets of India today. One yogi in Bombay actually sucks up oil into his penis in private and then publicly lights it on fire as he urinates it out! He claims it as divine fire. Imagine that ladies! LMAOOO! Over the past two years, I’ve been engaged in the process of learning this technique, so I might just light your ass on fire if you request it… 

Kidding!

This yogic suction technique is one that many people confuse with the true practice of semen retention. I will write more about from the perspective of my experiences. Eventually, imma need a partner.

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Anal Play for Men

Before reading on, please take a look at the following short skit. It’s from a show I really enjoyed, “Lucky Louie,” on HBO:

LMAOOO! Too funny! I love it!

As a rule, men are extremely anxious about anything going near their anus because stereotypes dictate that any man that admits to liking his anus stimulated is a “faggot.” The fact is that a sexual act does not constitute ones sexual orientation. In fact, one study I read stated that not all gay couples engage in anal sex. In any case, enjoying a certain sex act does not make you gay. That’s just ignorant, close-minded thinking. Actually, homophobia has been interpreted to be a form of homoerotic wish fulfillment. That’s right, homophobic men (as quantified by psychological measures) were the ones most turned on by gay porn. These are the guys who like to make jokes about “taking it up the ass” and questioning the masculinity of other men.

This is why I laughed when “e-thugs” with fake-ass names used to come to my blogs and post responses detailing their elaborate fantasies about me being raped in prison… In any case, as in most things sexual, likes and dislikes are culturally conditioned. If you were raised in a society were “real men” took it up the ass, men would be taking it up the ass and bragging about it, so stop your bullshit now. Shit, there would probably be a Super Bowl about it. LOL You doubt me? Well, apply some logic to this issue. If you’re inflexible in this cultural context, then you would most likely be as inflexible in another cultural context.

There’s a biological premise for pleasurable anal play. There are two pleasurable spots in and around a man’s anus. The first location is the anus itself: it is very sensitive, surrounded by a dense mass of nerve bundles. The second is the prostate gland, located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

As I mentioned earlier, some men are not very open to experimentation around this area, as enjoying it may make them question their masculinity. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today’s society. In any case, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area gently with your hands. He’ll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won’t seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him a tremendously intense orgasm. Most men are unaware of the intense orgasms experienced via this technique and many who do, often like it though they loathe admitting it.

As with all anal play, cleanliness is essential. A bath or a shower is a great way to start things off, setting the tone for the festivities. If your man is an anal virgin, you can celebrate his deflowering by making it a “special” occasion. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times. Lubrication is extremely important and you can never use too much. Also, be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin and can be easily torn by sharp objects. 

Once you get him lubricated, you want to start by taking it easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will instinctually tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and gradually move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: gentle twisting, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.

Analingus, licking the anal area (known colloquially as “tossing salad”), is another form of anal play. Perhaps this would be a better introduction into playing with your man’s anus. Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different than licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in, build up to it, and allow your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio (aka smoking that cock). This area is very sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate. 

Access to his anus is a little more problematic than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal: lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his ass up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.

Finally, there’s anal intercourse. Now, anal sex is quite a different ball of wax than using your finger. Oh boy! Man gotta really trust you for this one. Imagine if you separate and you blast it on Facebook or some other social media that he let you ream his asshole?!! LOL! Seriously, even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are copious amounts of lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach. Yeah, seduce the motherfucker.

Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time. 

There are women who enjoy anal play and some use butt plugs. A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs convey, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus. 

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long. Beads are also some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into and introduce anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which point the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is almost too intense to handle. It is suggested starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced. 

Again, like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

So there you go. Now go out there, girls, and ride your men good and hard!

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization… 

PS: SEX -- even anal sex -- is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Sex and Spiritual Growth]

¡Hola! Everybody...
This summer has been somewhat of a downer me, as I have been working harder than usual. Vacation is out of the question, and I’ll be working this weekend as well. On the brighter side, my mother is in town, so I look forward to visiting with her at my sister’s house… Special thanks to my friend, the "Naughty She Devil" for today's blog photo.

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-=[ Sex as Spiritual Practice ]=-

In the first stage, people use sex for selfish reasons. In the second stage, people share sexuality as a means of loving one another. In the third stage, people use sexuality to open one another to the very recognition of oneness.
-- David Deida

Some of the most sexually repressed individuals I have ever met have been Christianized people of color…More on that some other time.

For some time now, I’ve been posting on Tantric and Taoist sexual/ spiritual practice. Using sex as a path for spiritual awakening is not for everyone. Many Westerners, socially conditioned by the sum of thousands of years of anti-sex propaganda, are at a loss when confronted with the notion that sex could be about anything other than physical pleasure, or that it should even have a place in a “spiritual” discussion. In order to elevate sex beyond the ego, beyond the conditioned habits, takes a conscious and sustained effort. At a basic level, we are hard-wired for pleasure. As humans, we are pleasure addicts, conditioned to contract it down into a small and egocentric agenda. In order to shift this circuitry takes time and commitment.

While there are many paths leading to awakening, sex is one of the most effective because it works through the body, as the bridge between spirit and matter, between our inner and outer life. If you learn how to use sex (instead of the other way around), you will have access to one of the most direct routes to spiritual realization and embodiment.

Margot Anand was one of the first Westerners to explore this sexual territory:

You begin to open up a channel to allow the orgasmic energy to move through your body, beyond the orgasmic explosion of release to an implosive orgasm of expansion of consciousness. You move from the genital orgasm to the belly, to the heart… You don’t fall in love anymore, you arise in love… When you have an orgasm of the heart, an orgasm of surrender, where you become the other and the other becomes you, it’s a tremendous heart-opening. When you have an orgasm of the third eye, you are in total spaciousness and total peace with each other. This is a wonderful art… you have to devote a lot of time to this.

Practices

While the following practices are very simple and easy to learn, they are also extremely powerful and need to be practiced precisely. I offer the following only as a very brief overview. If you feel attracted to redirecting sexual energy in this way, you will definitely need instructions that are more specific. In my personal opinion, I would go further and say that eventually you will need a teacher.

For a Man

The first step for a man is to open his body to allow energy to flow more easily. You can do this through yoga, with qi gong, or just by stretching and opening the whole body.

The next step is to begin to arouse and recirculate sexual energy. It is best to start this alone, before you practice with a partner. Begin with self stimulation until you begin to feel the first waves of sexual energy, and then use breath and intention to draw that energy up through the spine and through the rest of the body. Once you become accustomed to practicing in this way, you can send the sexual energy up the spine, over the top of the head and down the front of the body again.

Your penis will go through waves of being very charged with energy, as though you were close to ejaculating. As you move the energy with the breath, there will be less energetic focus on your penis. Each time you move the sexual energy, your penis becomes less charged with sexual energy, and the rest of the body becomes more energized.

Keep practicing until you can stay aroused without ejaculating for at least twenty minutes. Then you are ready to practice with your partner.

For a Woman

For the woman, the core of the practice is to open the heart, to use the heart energy to open the sexual energy, and then share that energetic alchemy with your partner.

Although the genitals will become fully aroused, the practice doesn’t involve direct stimulation, but rather the circulation of the energy from the heart downward.

First, massage your breasts in order to stimulate and open the heart center. When you begin to feel a warming and concentration of energy in the heart, use the breath to practice drawing energy up from the ovaries to the heart. As this continues, feel the energy in the lower part of the body being drawn up into the heart and flowing out of the heart, particularly from the breast, as a blessing and a prayer.

As you continue drawing energy up into your chest and out through the breasts, feel for your friends, your family. Expand your attention, feeling the whole world, the births, the joys, the wars, the pain -- all of it. Like a prayer, a meditation, you are giving yourself. It is as though you were saying with your body, with your breath, with your relaxation, “I am here, I am giving myself to you, to all of you.” Once the heart is awakened with the flame of loving compassion, let it flow downward and awaken the vagina, draw it all up into your heart, and keep pouring it out as if it were a river of blessing. Feel as big as the universe and beyond, just give everything away through your body.

There are practices for partners to do together, but I won’t post that here.

The whole practice is about balance. The reason why these practices were always guarded in secrecy was because of their potential to create power.

A good place for men to start is Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava The Multiorgasmic Man. In addition, Chia’s Healing Love through the Tao (written with his wife) is good basic text for women. Chia also offers trainings throughout the world as well as tapes and DVDs. I personally stand by his teachings, having read his books, taken some of his courses, and having applied his teachings in my life. Margot Anand has written several good books that offer guidance in how to enter into sex with a deeper sacredness (click here to visit her website).

Finally, I will personally vouch for all of David Deida’s works. His Finding God through Sex was a revelation for me and has been a huge influence on my spiritual path. Before Deida, my spirituality was missing a coherent approach to sex. I have to say that he was a major influence in my way of thinking and spiritual path. I have attended several of his workshops and recommend him highly.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Dick Kung Fu, pt. II]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Lebron wouldn't have been able to hack it in The Big City anyway... And they better win it all in Miami, no excuses this time, Lebron.

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-=[ Dick Kung Fu ]=-

Popular mainstream depictions of intercourse are almost always of the mattress spring-squeaking, in-and-out variety that leads to fast ejaculation and little satisfaction for either partner. One has to realize that proper thrusting is essential for a truly pleasurable lovemaking experience. Ejaculatory control, and overall sexual healing, and health are enhanced when the art of thrusting is properly mastered.

First, one should wait until the woman is highly aroused before intercourse. In the colorful language of the Taoists, a couple needs to wait until the woman’s pot is boiling before the man puts his carrot and peas in. Otherwise, they will have soggy sex and his carrot will quickly go limp. LOL

When most people think of intercourse, they think in terms of being “in” or “out.” for Taoists and Tantric practitioners, who mapped out the pleasure and reflexology points of the penis and the vagina, there are many different depths and directions for the man to thrust and pleasure himself and his partner. These crucial reflexology points correspond with the organs and glands of the body, which are energized and healed by rubbing on these points.

You should experiment with various depths and directions. In the interest of making today’s post simpler, think in terms of three basic thrusts: shallow thrusts, long deep thrusts, and short deep thrusts.

Taoists recommended that men (or women, when they are on top) vary the type of thrusts they use. When used synergistically, the deep thrusts push the air out of the woman’s vagina and create a vacuum that can be intensified by using shallow thrusts. As long as the penis does not come out completely, this very pleasurable vacuum effect is maintained.

The recommended thrust combination was nine shallow thrusts and one long deep thrust as a basic rhythm or nine short deep thrusts and one long deep thrust. The long deep thrusts are highly pleasurable, but also make it hard for a man to control his ejaculation. The short deep thrusts are deeply satisfying to the woman while not being overly stimulating to the man. As a man learns to control his ejaculation, he becomes multi-orgasmic and the thrusting ratio can be lessened to six or even three shallow or short deep and then one long deep. The most important thing is to find a regular rhythm that you enjoy and the experiment with depth, direction, and speed. Think of the fun you'll have with your partner exploring thrusts in an open and conscious manner.

The Thrusts

· Shallow Thrusts: These serve to stimulate the highly sensitive first two inches of the woman’s vagina, and depending on her position, her G-spot.

· Long Deep Thrusts: These are deep thrusts in which the man pulls back almost to the entrance of the woman’s vagina between thrusts. These are the thrusts usually depicted in the media and pornography. They can be highly stimulating for both partners, as the man pushes and pulls the head of his cock along the whole length of his partner’s vagina.

· Short Deep Thrusts: These are thrusts in which the man stays deep in the woman and stokes back and forth. This stimulates her clitoris (with pressure from his pubic bone) and the back of her vagina while not stimulating the head of the penis as much.

If the man is experiencing difficulty maintaining an erection, of course the long deep thrusts are good for resolving this problem. And the fact remains that at some time or another every man experiences difficulty having an erection when he wants one. This is what sexual therapists call “situational impotence.” In these situations, it is essential for men to be knowledgeable with the Soft Entry technique (which I won’t get into at this point). In ordinary (often-mediocre) sex, men enter hard and exit soft. In Tantric and Taoist practices, a man can enter hard or soft and exit hard.

I have found the short deep thrusts extremely useful in ejaculatory control and very effective when a woman is reaching orgasm and wants my cock deep inside of her. Using this thrust, I can pleasure my lover without risking losing my ejaculatory control.

Depth, Direction, Speed

It’s important to vary the direction and speed of the thrust in addition to varying depth. While the following is addressed to the man, it can also be adapted by the woman when she is on top. Please remember that the most important part of lovemaking is to be in your body, not inside you head. Don’t get lost with over concern about thrust and lose the pleasure of the thrust itself.

It’s interesting that in English we sometimes describe intercourse as screwing, but in actuality many couples don’t actually “screw” each other. In other words, they don’t rotate their bodies in circles. While most people consider the term vulgar, when it is actually done it can be sublime in its pleasure. Instead of simply thrusting forward and pulling back, you can instead “screw” your hips or, even better, your sacrum in half circles, first on side and then on the other.

Experienced lovers the world over have discovered the importance of using one’s pelvis during lovemaking. The hips are good, but according to the Taoists, it is the sacrum that really controls the penis for the man. To find your sacrum, place the palm of your hand at the base of your spine with the tip of your longest finger in the valley of your buttocks. Underneath your palm is your sacrum (now: please wash your hands. LOL!). This form of screwing has the potential to keep you connected in pleasure for an extended period of time. To use the language of the Tao, a nail (going in straight) comes out easily, but a screw (circling) stays for a long time.

Okay, that’s enough for today. I’m giving away too many secrets!

Love,

Eddie

PS: sex is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Dick Kung Fu, pt. I]

¡Hola! Everybody...
I have a hypothesis. It’s a hypothesis that has yet to be disproved in all these years. Simply put, the hypothesis holds that a woman’s nipples point in the same direction that her nose points.

To further illustrate: if a woman has an upturned nose, her nipples point up. Now please note I’m not referring to sagging or drooping breasts. Nipples normally maintain their orientation even after the effects of gravity has taken their toll, and pert breasts have nipples that orient down. I know this because I have seen examples of this. *grin*

So, using my theory, we can go down my friends’ list and speculate about nipple orientation. ______, for example, most likely has nipples that point slightly upwards, or straight out (as if they were accusing me of some crime or lustful desire).

That’s my hypothesis, and I have yet to meet a woman who has disproved it. Go ahead, look (I know you’re dying to. LMAO!) Now, there are several implications stemming from this hypothesis the most problematic being that a perve like me knows which way your nipples point. That’s fucked up!

BTW, if you disagree with my hypothesis, please feel free to submit relevant documentation (i.e., photos) to yours truly for inspection.

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-=[ Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, pt. I ]=-

You know? Sometimes guys get together and spend their time talking about strengthening their biceps and quads and other muscles to look sexy (“curls for the girls”). I find such conversations beyond boring and usually this is the point in time that I take out my cock, soak up a glass of oil, and then light it up when I expel it through my urethra. LOL!

I’m kidding, of course (I soak up water), but there is one unseen muscle far more important when it comes to matters sexual. This “sex muscle” is actually called the pubococcygeus, or PC, muscle. This group of muscles running from your pubic bone (“pubo”) in the front of your body to the tailbone, or coccyx (“coccygeus”), in the back are essential for optimal sexual health.

In fact, two or three inches of your penis are rooted in this PC muscle, and strengthening it leads to harder erections, more intense, multiple, and more enjoyable orgasms, and better control of your ejaculations. This last benefit is why the PC muscle is essential to becoming a multi-orgasmic man. Yes, fellas, you too can be multi-orgasmic, why let only the ladies have all the fun, huh? Simply put, you can use the PC muscle to put the brakes when you feel you’re gonna shoot that load. And please, stop the bullshit! We all know, as the comedian Kat Williams says, that the “first nut has a mind of its own.” Now, I don’t care how young you are, or how good you think you are, there’s nothing as good as that first nut. In addition, most of us indulge in the second nut mostly because we don’t want some outraged woman blasting our sexual shortcomings (pun intended) on the internet. LOL! Yeah, I’ve seen those “Quick-Draw McGraw” blasts son... Shame on you!

Now, you all know I don’t normally do New Years resolutions, but if I did do them, mine would be to develop my PC muscle to superhuman strength. So far, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Not to the point where I can suck up a glass of oil and spit it out with my cock, but I’m getting there. ::grin::

Not too long ago, I wrote about the PC muscle and women. Most of my female readers think they know all the exercises for the “love muscle,” but believe me ya’ll don’t. I’ll be sharing some of that in the coming weeks. Today, I’m going to share basic PC Muscle 101 for men -- or Dick Kung Fu. I’m not going to give away all my secrets, muthafuckas. I might share more in the coming months.

The simplest exercise for strengthening your PC muscle is called “Stopping the Stream” and it involves stopping the flow of urine ht next time you use the bathroom. If you can’t stop the flow, your PC muscle is weak. That’s OK, cuz Uncle Eddie is gonna help with your “quickness” problem. The PC muscle is what causes the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm. The Taoists discovered that these contractions involved a man’s prostate gland. By learning to contract your PC muscle around your prostate, you can learn to stop yourself from ejaculating which in turn will deepen your orgasmic contractions. As I wrote previously, ejaculation is separate from orgasm. Many men (and women) aren’t aware of this physiological fact. When you contract the prostate, you might begin to feel a shaking or chill through your body. In the following exercise, you will learn to stop the stream of urine and strengthen your PC muscle.

Exercise 1: Stopping the Stream

Inhale: as you get ready to urinate, inhale deeply.

Exhale: Exhale slowly and forcefully push out the urine. [Note: clenching the teeth will intensify the practice.]

Inhale and Contract Your PC: Inhale and contract your PC muscle to stop the flow of urine midstream.

Exhale and Push Out Again: Exhale and start urinating again.

Repeat Until Finished: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (urinating as you exhale and stopping the stream as you inhale) three to six times or until you have finished urinating.

This practice may sting a little at first, but it should quickly disappear within a couple of weeks. However, if it continues, it may indicate you have an infection, in which case you should go to a doctor and have that cleared up before continuing. In addition, to begin, push out your urine as if you are in a hurry and trying to finish quickly. Standing on your toes and clenching your teeth will help intensify the practice, but the most important part of the exercise is simply to start and stop urinating as many times as possible.

Finally, sexual strength is only half the practice. Sexing is like an art, like learning to play the piano or any other instrument. Sensitivity -- to your partner’s arousal and to your own -- is equally if not more important. Unlike the old bullshit techniques of desensitization (lessening feeling) in order to delay ejaculation, becoming multi-orgasmic requires that you increase your sexual sensitivity and bring more mindfulness to your sexual arousal.

Love,

Eddie

Resources

Michael Winn: The Taoist Art of Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

Mantak Chia: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy