First, let me wish my dear friend, Barb, a very happy birthday. Barb is one of the few people that really gets me and her responses to my posts are often dead on and insightful. I consider her a “spiritual” friend -- one of the millions of "cultural creatives" silently working to make this planet a better place. Many, many best wishes and un abrazo de hermano to you, Barb...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARB!
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-=[ The Fool and Insanity ]=-
(or Cock Teasing 101)
I have a confession to make. I have been “Yahoobamboozled.” I should be chained to the 360 town square and laughed at by my 360 peers for allowing myself to be taken for a fool. You people should circle me and throw fruit at me and jeer because I consciously allowed myself to be played.
Against my better judgment, I became attracted to one of the most unreliable people I have ever met. Remind me how stupid I was, please! Would you have anything to do with a person who behaved in the following manner:
- Never ever picked up the phone. Every phone call went directly to a “forwarding messaging system.” Every call.
- Would say she would do things, but rarely followed through.
- Stated she lived in one state but her return address on the sole correspondence ever sent was in a different state.
- Would take days to respond to a message and often rationalized by stating that’s who she was, “take it or leave it.”
- Was “too busy” to leave a comment or response, but wasn’t busy enough to leave dozens of comments all over the place.
- When sent a poem, the only response (days later) was to correct a mistake.
- Privately, I was someone she “could fall in love with,” but in public, she wouldn’t acknowledge me. At all.
- She wouldn't send me something pleasant, but through the course of several hours she expended a lot of energy to send me a lot of hate.
I allowed all of the above and more.
And I state all this because this isn’t the person’s fault, it’s mine. And I'm not writing this to defend myself or to paint a picture. These are all observations on my part. And the thing is, I was warned by several people that the person in question was off. Shit, I ain’t no walk in the park and will own up to my own shit. In addition, I’m definitely not a victim. I allowed that shit to be done to me. What’s worse, I made plans to see this person!
Yup, I even bought tickets and rented a room with the intention to meet with a person who won’t even answer my phone calls! Now ain’t that some stupid shit?!! Please tell me I was stupid. I need to be reminded.
LOL! What a joke!
So in the spirit of hilarity, I invite each one of you to rub it in, because I deserve it. I allowed myself to be played and I got played good. But there’s an unseen benefit to all this because I will be going to
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade, right?
The thing is I will be there from Friday to Monday and my friend might not be able to get a sitter until Saturday, so I might be free Friday. If you live in the
I realize the individual in question may or may not get defensive and to that I will say that this really has nothing to do with her and everything to with me. I will not allow anyone to respond negatively about her. She is who she is, that’s how’s she’s living and more power to her. To every story there are many sides. The focus is here with me. If I’m allowing myself to be subjected to treatment beneath my standards, then I still have a lot of work to do.
After today I will not mention this episode again and I will be striving to erase this person from my thoughts. I guess I still have feelings and that's why I'm writing about it. To be perfectly honest, I have no ill feelings toward this person and I truly wish her whatever she desires. the truth is that we will eventually become inconsequential to one another. Not even a joke -- something that didn't matter. But it sure doesn't feel like that today. You might think I’m bitter, but really I’m not. If I were bitter, this blog would be a lot different, believe me. For the sake of sanity, some people need to be kept at a safe distance. I'm certain she probably feels the same way.