Nigger of the World

¡Hola! Everybody...
Well, as expected, my blog yesterday elicited many responses. While I expect some of the responses, they still never cease to amaze me. Let’s get some shit straight:

My blog was about Domestic Violence, not violence in general. Some of you, while in the ecstatic throes of logical contortions, seemed to forget that. Secondly, please don’t start your comment by saying you’re not condoning Domestic Violence and then defend the perpetrators of Domestic Violence -- men! Finally, if you don’t like me and have a beef with me or the forceful manner in which I present the issue, get to the back of the line. There are plenty people that share your animosity. However, while here, address the fuckin' issue!

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-=[ The Universal Victim ]=-

“Woman is the nigger of the world.”

-- Yoko Ono

First things first:

If you think you’re trapped in an abusive relationship, please try to get help. At the end of this blog there is a link to a resource where you can locate assistance and support for your situation. I realize it’s not easy. No matter what the idiots post here as a response, you are not at fault. You’re also not alone.

The history of the world and the history of family violence are inseparable. Across cultures with different languages and customs, women have been beaten by their male partners the world over. In almost every society we know about, men have considered themselves superior to women. When one group considers itself superior, it presumes the right to oppress the other.

Eventually, that oppression will evolve into some form of physical abuse.

Someone responded yesterday that violence against women and domestic violence are different. I believe this remark to be ignorant of the issue. Domestic violence and violence against women are part and parcel of the same issue.

· Sixty percent of the women killed in the U.S. are killed by their husband or boyfriend.

· A woman is nine times more likely to be assaulted in her own home than on the street.

Yes, you’re correct in noting I’ve already posted the above statistics. Thanks for noticing.

I emphasize women because they are by far the group most likely to be victims of domestic violence. There are reasons for that and those reasons have to do with systemic barriers embedded in a patriarchal society that not only condones, but encourages violence against women. Yeah, I know that’s fucked up that I’m emphasizing the 95% of the victims of domestic violence. I’m fucked up that way. If you don’t like it, throw yourself against the floor. LOL!

Let’s try the following exercise:

If you’re a male and you woke up tomorrow as a female, what would you do?

If you’re a female, and you woke up tomorrow as a male, what would you do?

I realize the questions are an open invitation to joke, but when this test was posed to elementary school children, most of the boys said they’d kill themselves if they woke up as girls. Most of the girls said they’d be happy to wake up as a boy. They stated that they would be firemen, baseball players, the president, a doctor, etc. It was obvious that both boys and girls think that it is better to be a boy. Everyone would rather be a boy (Freud lives).

This is why male privilege is so powerful. It’s not just boys who think they have more power; girls also think that boys have more power.

It’s been pointed out ad nauseum that men are also victims of domestic violence. I don’t dispute that, but to emphasize men, who represent a miniscule fraction of DV cases, is stupid.

Yes I said it was stupid.

Why is it stupid? Because it ignores male privilege. No one, at least not this writer, is saying that abused men should be ignored. But even battered men have more economic and systemic resources at their disposal than women. For example men get paid about 30% more than women for the same work, for example. It is stupid to ignore this fact. One responder yesterday even went so far as to cherry-pick “statistics” from studies glommed from a mens’ website with a gender axe to grind.

The reason why women are more frequently victims of domestic violence is because we live in a society that is based on ideas of supremacy and privilege. This set of values is based on the notion that one group or type of person is better, smarter, and more valuable than another. Therefore, it follows, it is the right and duty of those who are better to be in control. Sound familiar?

Any discussion that refuses to recognize these historical and systematic dynamics is ignorant of the issue.

For example, if a woman flees an abusive relationship, but leaves her children, the courts will award custody to the men. I don’t have my notes handy right now, but I believe that about 70% of men who have custody, gain custody under these conditions.

If we lose sight of the fact of male privilege, then we lose sight of the fact that:

The average sentence for a man who kills his wife/ girlfriend is 7-11 years.

A woman who kills her man gets on the average 25 years to life.

So, let’s say a woman lashes out after years of abuse. She gets life. A coward who preys on women will get a comparative slap on the wrist. Are we seeing a pattern here?

Muthafuckas, I asked are we seeing a fuckin pattern here?!!

I have to go, but I will write on this shit until I have it all covered because people are still mostly ignorant of the issue.

Eddie

Resources

Click here for help and domestic violence resources