The Friday Sex Blog [Exhibitionism and Voyeurism]

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Exhibitionism/ Voyeurism

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From a reader:

I love to screw and/ or watch people screw in public places. I know it may sound like pure fabrication, but one of my most mind-blowing sexual experiences was screwing a man I had just met at a very large parade in NYC… on Fifth Avenue.

Mind you, I don't consider myself a voyeur nor an exhibitionist, but I enjoy engaging in sex in public places and have had sex in almost every public place imaginable. Am I freak or sexual deviant? Is this wrong? Or are there others who enjoy this form of sexual risk-taking.

Shy Freak

You got it Shy, you naughty girl! Here goes… An exhibitionist, or scopophile, by definition is someone who derives erotic pleasure from the display of genitals or other parts that are normally considered taboo. While exhibitionism is a common occurrence as foreplay, exhibitionists usually expose themselves without the consent of their audience, or with any intention of consummating the implied sex act.

There are many degrees of exhibitionism, some of them not very healthy, as with exhibitionists who derive pleasure from the horror created by their exposure. These individuals often expose themselves to younger victims or unsuspecting victims. To be fair, many Western women are exhibitionists to a degree. This started happening when pre-arranged marriages ceased to exist and women were thrown into competition for husbands. If you do a little research, you could see immediate changes in ads and the forms of dress women adopted. For the first time, women had some measure of power over men. I believe this is part of the erotic pleasure derived from exhibitionism. 

One of the most erotic exhibitionists I ever saw was a young blonde woman who lived in a mostly in a shoddy neighborhood. Every day, at an appointed hour, she would undress in front of her window in her second-floor apartment that faced the street. It was like a TV show. Guys would rush home, buy beer and weed, sit by their windows, shoot the shit and wait for “Blondie” to do her thing. And she did her thing everyday, like clockwork. She was a petite, slim woman, very light-skinned. You could tell she knew people were watching and she was very meticulous in her manner of undressing. She obviously paid close attention to her use of undergarments and undressed slowly in front of her window. After she finished undressing, she would pull down her blinds and that was it. End of show.

She would give no one any conversation. She had a boyfriend who visited her now and then, but otherwise she kept to herself and interestingly enough, no one messed with her.

I was always curious as to the inner processes at work in this type of behavior. Later I would learn that, as with other forms of anticipated sex, there is a certain amount of arousal present. An exhibitionist will become stimulated as they plan what to wear, where to expose themselves, and to whom or what type of audience, they will expose themselves. Coordinating the right sequence of location and events adds to the tension that produces amounts of adrenaline and releases hormones that in some cases leads to genital orgasm.

As I stated before, you don’t have to be an exhibitionist in the strict sense of the word, and still possess a fetish for sexing in public places. My reader, Shy, elaborates:

I was never happier, sexually speaking, than when I was in a relationship with a man who shared my enthusiasm for public intercourse. We did it everywhere: on crowded subway trains, theaters, on a late-night plane trip, in all kinds of autos. We did it in alleyways, hallways, beaches, pools -- you name it, we probably did it there. We would sit down and plan these sexual trysts in detail and that was half the fun. On many occasions, we were discovered or watched by strangers, and while this wasn’t the intention, it did add to the excitement. Once I went down on him at a restaurant while on my knees under the table.

Shy adds:

I was looking out my window one summer night and noticed a couple in a parked car. I had a bird’s eye view of them and it was evident the woman was going down on the man. I realized that watching them was highly arousing. I had an erection just watching her go down on that cock. At one point, she caught me looking -- we actually made eye contact -- which made her stop. However, after a moment, she resumed her ministrations and I discovered that was a huge turn on for me.

The fact that she was doing this in public and that she knew I was watching was extremely sexually arousing. When my lover became curious and saw what I was looking at, he scolded me, but she too became transfixed by the act. Eventually, we would engage in sex while watching the woman in the car. Occasionally, she would make eye contact with us while continued and it was it clear to her that we were sexing while watching her.

Voyeurism involves the act of watching other people for the purpose of sexual arousal. Most often, a voyeur will station himself outside a window, what’s known as a Peeping Tom. Voyeurism seems to surface in many people when it involves celebrity. How many times has a celebrity’s skinny ass been shown on the internet? Better yet, how many times have you looked at it? ::blank stare: LOL

In our society, voyeurism is celebrated in many ways and rewarded handsomely. For example, a photographer lucky enough of taking a shot of the latest trending celebrity flashing will easily command six figures. This indicates that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of quasi-voyeurs who derive pleasure from a glimpse of the forbidden or unattainable. For many hardcore voyeurs, the embarrassment of outrage of the victim makes it all the more appealing.

So to answer your question, Shy Freak, yes, you’re probably a freak but that’s not such a bad thing. Carry on!

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…