The Friday Sex Blog [Fantasies, pt. I]

Hola Everybody,

A few years ago I got the following in a text message from a psycho-ex “internet fiancé”:

9,000 people are fucking right now, 2,000 are kissing, 1,000 are getting head, and one lonely fucker is reading text messages. You hang in there sunshine… ” LMAO!

Fantasy

Repression is not morality.

The brain, my dear friends, is the largest sex organ, and if intelligence equates to sexual prowess, then imma bad ma’fucca! I’m joking!

While you may be aware of the brain’s vital role our sexual lives, it may never have occurred to you that it’s also an incredibly resourceful sex toy. Today, I’m going to write about fantasy, but it will have to be incomplete. This topic is much too rich and profound to attempt to tackle in a one-page, single-line MS Word document. In fact, one could fill a library with books written on this topic. Therefore, I’m not going to do that, but I will offer a (very) brief overview because it’s so important for our sexual awareness/ liberation.

First: you people are some sick muthafuckas! I’ve been inside your heads and you all have some of the sickest, dirtiest, nastiest fantasies. 

Yeah you! LOL

But I’m not going to get into the content of sexual fantasies this go-round. Today, I’m going to attempt some clarification, however briefly.

As I stated before, the brain is the most fascinating, most versatile sex toy you own. While it is a fact that without the brain responding to stimuli and sending messages to the rest of the body, you would have as much sexual feeling as a piece of wood, it is also within the brain’s capacity to gather a vast supply of erotic material. These are known as fantasies. It is your fantasies that make the brain such a powerful sex toy, since fantasies can be revisited an endless number of times for sexual pleasure. Here’s one of my faves:

Some say certain fantasies are corrupt. I would disagree. On the contrary, most mentally unbalanced individuals do not have a rich internal sexual fantasy life. Case histories of most sexually motivated serial killers, for example, show they are tortured by their fantasies. They spend an enormous amount of psychological energy repressing their fantasies.

The fact is that most of our sexual fantasies are things we would never do. For example, an individual who would never have sex with an under-age adolescent girl, might still harbor such a fantasy and never act out on it. In fact, there is evidence showing that fantasies help relieve our frustrations and anxieties and, in cognitive terms, allows people to grasp its inappropriateness. In cognitive psychology, for example, one method of taking apart false beliefs is by helping the client take those often self-defeating and erroneous beliefs to their conclusions.

Simply put, sexual fantasies are illusions or daydreams people have about specific experiences. Part of the power of sexual fantasies may come from guilt (taboo) or fear (such as in the fear of getting caught sexing in public). Many fantasies have their root in childhood development and continue to be primary sources of pleasure throughout life. Other individuals change fantasies regularly. I would submit that there is a connection between actual sexual experimentation and the ability to create new fantasies.

The feeling of being overpowered by a sex partner is one of the most popular sexual fantasies. Studies show that some women have a deep attraction to abduction or rape fantasies and like to be “taken.” Right up there with being overpowered is the fantasy of having sex with a stranger. In fact, at least with research I have encountered on the subject, I would say sex with a stranger is probably tops. There is this powerful human attraction of sex with a stranger -- The Other. This is reflected in our culture when we fantasize about having sex with movie stars or performers. These are people we wouldn’t know from a hole in the wall (pun intended), and yet we entertain in some case elaborate sexual fantasies about these individuals (Halle Berry!).

As I stated before, certain fantasies evoke situations most people would not want to experience in real life. These fantasies are specifically designed to increase adrenaline and excitement levels to the point of being able to orgasm without the help of a partner. Believe me, you don’t want to know what’s in my mind (and I probably don’t want to know yours)! Just so you know, some of the fantasies of quite normal people can be quite sadistic and violent sadistic fantasies might serve the function of relieving stress and aggression more than sexual tension. If you feel guilty because you consider your fantasies sick or violent, you should read the case histories of otherwise tame and harmless individuals. In fact, you people are sick.

But that’s for the next post…

My name is Eddie and I'm in recovery from civilization...

The Friday Sex Blog [Strange Sex]

Hola mi gente,

I work at (not for) one of the largest penal colonies in the world, Rikers Island. It is a highly dysfunctional, violent world. I facilitate workshops at one of its most violent facilities. I will be writing more about those experiences very soon.

Today, this blog is about sex. Enjoy the holiday weekend to my readers in the USA.

Desire (or: Strange Sex)

It's so much better to desire than to have… The moment of desire, when you know something is going to happen -- that's the most exalting.

-- Anouk Aimee (1932–) French movie actress

I once dated a staggeringly beautiful woman. She was beautiful beyond anything I could approximate through mere words. Exotic, tall, with an arresting presence, and a curvy figure, she was every man’s dream made manifest. She said she loved my intelligence and confidence and the fact that her beauty didn’t intimidate me (it made me hard). As is true with most women like my friend, her love life was a mess: extremes between being lonely on the one hand and meeting jerks on the other.

I loved the heck out of her except there was one problem: she didn’t enjoy sex!

Contrary to what some people here think, I’m not a sex fiend. However, I do enjoy sex. And it wasn’t that she wasn’t “good in bed” (whatever the hell that means). Technically, she knew what she was doing. The problem was that she didn’t really like sex and was aversive to true intimacy (but that’s most people -- including women). Sex with my friend often felt as if she were performing a duty -- something necessary to keep me around. It was a real turn off. Of course, being with me means you’re going to open at least a little.

We didn’t last too long because it was frustrating for me to be around someone who saw sex as a duty and not an art to be practiced. We remained friends, however, and would keep in touch. One day, she called me. She had gotten engaged and was having the same problem. I suggested she participate in some tantric workshops, open up some of those energy centers.

This is not an uncommon problem. First, we all like what a childhood friend and I used to call “strange sex” -- sex with strangers, or new lovers. Moreover, women desire this also -- don’t give me that crap, you know you want to even if you don’.

::blank stare::

Studies show that one of the most powerful fantasies, for both men and women, is sex with a stranger. But why is it that we seek the novelty? Why does sex often becomes stale, especially in long-term relationships? I think part of the reason is that we don’t work at sex. Too many of us are like my former lover -- sex is something you have to do to keep your man (or woman) from getting it from someone else (strange sex syndrome). It’s also because we often don’t screen our partners for their level of sexual desire -- especially over the long term. You know how it is: in the beginning you can’t seem to get enough of each other. New lovers will often accommodate one another and are happier than bugs in a rug. The problems don’t tend to emerge until much later.

Let me put it this way: if two committed people want to make love only once every six months, that’s perfectly fine -- there is no problem. It only becomes a problem when there’s difference in sexual desire.

Sure, one way to manage the problem is masturbation. Don’t look at me that way, married men and women masturbate -- it’s normal. But I didn’t want to be jerking off all the time having that lovely body next to me. That was too frustrating. I’ll do it once or twice, but I wanted her ready, willing, and able --reasonably speaking.

The other day a married friend of mine and I were having a conversation. He’s always asking me about my personal life. He has a beautiful wife that I always flirt with. It’s cool -- it’s an inside joke. I have nothing but the utmost respect for my friend and his wife. One day, he was reluctant to go home and when I asked him why, he said he had to go home because he and his wife had scheduled a sexual tryst. They have two young boys and I could identify: I remember when I was married and the sex had become more a duty than something to savor. In addition, busy lives means that sex has to be penciled in between soccer matches, birthday parties and PTA meetings. I laughed at him and told him to go home and perform! 

There are many factors involved in low sexual desire, but for me the most important one is lack of creativity. We fall into our ruts -- the lick em, stick em, and cum school of sex. It gets stale ladies and gentlemen. There’s no role-playing, or if there is, there’s no energy behind it. Contrary to what you may have been told, sex isn’t a natural act, it must be practiced. In order for sex to remain viable, it must be an integral part of mutual growth. It must be almost like a religion. A religion in which both partners are transformed, becoming more evolved in the process.

If you can cultivate sexual energy in that way, then the sex never gets old, it’s always crisp, fresh, and new.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

The TGIF Sex Blog [Sexual Fantasies, pt. II]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Today’s blog entertainment is brought to you by one of our very own, who asked that she remain anonymous. Let me just say that DAT girl has a foine ass and when I first received these photos, I became so aroused that I immediately called the RSK and took it out on her! I fucked her long and hard. So sweetie? You’re partly responsible for the RSK’s swollen vagina last weekend. LOL

You all know by now how much I love the female derrière and this is a fine example of well-rounded, firm, and sexy BUTT!

DANG!

* * *

-=[ Sexual Fantasies, pt. II ]=-

“… Teeth, fingers, lips painted with the fruits of our childlike foreplay, we had our roll in the tangled undergrowth and emerged, scratched and bleeding, staggering, jaunty and rowdy with contempt for all those timid animals who still make noiseless love… ”

Do you have a sexual fantasy that’s utterly taboo, unusual, unnatural, and maybe even illegal? Well, welcome to the club! LOL

Almost everybody – male and female, young and old, prudes and sluts – have sexual fantasies. I would go so far as saying that not having sexual fantasies is abnormal and a sign of sexual dysfunction. Sexual fantasies, although once regarded as symptomatic of sexual and psychological disturbance, are now widely recognized as positive forms of erotic expression. I forget who said it, but I love the quote, “Repression is not morality.” In fact, sexual repression is an indicator of a diseased mind.

The mind is, after, all, the most important sexual organ. Without sexual fantasies, sex becomes sterile, mechanical, and uninteresting. It’s been discovered, for example, that people suffering from a chronic lack of interest in sex (hypoactive desire disorders) seldom have sexual fantasies. These people may stifle such thoughts because they feel guilty or ashamed about them, or they may simply not have them at all. Part of the treatment for such people is to actually help these self-censored individuals get in touch with their erotic impulse by teaching them to fantasize. Some women who have never had an orgasm, in fact, are able to become orgasmic simply by allowing themselves to engage their erotic fantasies during sex.

Without doubt, sexual fantasies are the most common kind of human sexual experience. Sometimes they are so vivid and steamy, that they hardly qualify as “fantasies.” One study I was reading asserts that about 1 percent of women can actually bring themselves to orgasm through fantasy alone – without touching themselves, or being touched. One study of ten such women showed that even under laboratory conditions – despite the totally un-sexiness of being wired and monitored by a crew of researchers – seven out of the ten women had a true blue climax, solely through the use of their minds. I need to get out more often! LOL

Sexual fantasies serve a number of purposes. One of the most common – reported by an overwhelming majority of both men and women – is to heighten sexual arousal. One of the most frequent sexual strategies is to use a favorite fantasy to move from the plateau phase of arousal. In fact, some men and women report that they are unable to be orgasmic unless they sue fantasy in this way.

Sexual fantasies, because they are safe and completely private, also allow you to let loose of your sexual inhibitions. You can explore all kinds of sexual situations, have all sorts of sexual partners, without being held personally responsible. Fantasies serve the function of helping release pent up sexual pressures and tensions in a harmless manner. In addition, you can “preview” an upcoming sexual activity, partly as a way of easing fears, and partly to “rehearse” a situation in advance and troubleshoot potential problems. It’s interesting to note that adolescents often use fantasy in this way.

One thing that’s important to remember: having sexual fantasies about something does not mean you actually want to do it, even if you could. Fantasizing about sex with a high school cheerleader, sexual bondage, or homosexual encounter may be a way of alleviating your fears, or satisfying your curiosity, about such practices. It’s fairly well known that some women fantasize about being raped – but that doesn’t mean they are actually longing to be forced into having sex. One researcher suggests that women who have rape fantasies often come from sexually repressed family households. For these women, the fantasy of being “taken” by a dominating male is often the only acceptable way to allow themselves to be sexual.

Studies at the Masters and Johnson Institute have shown that women who have “unusual” fantasies (of being raped, having sex with animals, of sadomasochistic sex) have no real interest in doing any of these things. Of course, sometimes sex fantasies do get out of control. Some individuals may become so obsessed with a fantasy that the real (flesh and blood) partners fade into unimportance. One hallmark of trouble is when an individual finds himself to bring a specific, aberrant fantasy to mind, every time, in order to become sexually aroused or have orgasm. This is called a paraphilia or perversion. And no, I don’t suffer from an anal paraphilia, but I do have a fetish for the female ass.

::blank stare::

LOL!

One question that always comes up is the question of whether one should share their fantasies with their partners. One former lover got all weird out with me when I shared the “put on the Catholic School uniform and pig tails and let me fuck you in the ass” fantasy with her. It’s one of my fave role-playing games (after rape scenes LOL!). She freaked, thought t was demented, and relations between us quickly cooled down. I found her to be a boring lover, completely bereft of imagination and creativity, though she claimed to have a zest for sex and was experienced (it turns out she had one lover – her ex husband – for most of her adult life).

Listen, just because I buy you a schoolgirl or cheerleader uniform, doesn’t mean I want to fuck your daughter (unless she’s over 21! LOL!). In fact, the actual act of having sex with a girl unable to understand or reciprocate the emotional component of intimacy is a huge turn off. All I want id for you to play the fuckin’ role. *grin*

Most people report that actually acting out their fantasies is a let down. Sometimes the thrill lies in the fact that reality doesn’t intrude. Having sex in the jungle, the topic of my poetic snippet above, is probably not as sexy as I portray it. There are insects, and the scratching and bleeding part is real. LOL Still, I’m one of those people who actually enjoys acting out their fantasies.

I think the best way to share a fantasy is for a couple create a fantasy together. Meet a public place and act as strangers while you8 seduce one another (one of the big fantasies for both men and women is sex with a stranger). Alternatively, you might try a modified form of role-playing. If you have fantasies of wild passionate sex, where old clothes and then rip them off your man/ woman. Just think: after the sex, you can look at the tattered clothing as proof that you once lived.

Love,

Eddie

[un]Common Sense Sex Blog [Fantasies]

¡Hola! Everybody…
I got the following in a text message from my psycho-ex Blog_ fiancé Tigga:

9,000 people are fucking right now, 2,000 are kissing, 1,000 are getting head, and one lonely fucker is reading text messages. You hang in there sunshine… ”

LMAO!

Well, yours truly is getting some much-needed lustful loving. I am sooo much better at being baaaaaad…

* * *

-=[ Sexual Fantasy ]=-
“Repression is not morality.”

The brain, my dear horny friends, is the largest sex organ, and intelligence equates to sexual prowess, then imma bad ma’fucca! LOL

I’m kidding!

While you may be aware of the brain’s vital role our sexual lives, it may never have occurred to you that it’s also an incredibly resourceful sex toy. I’m going to write about fantasy, but it will have to be cut up in two parts. This topic is much too rich and profound to attempt to tackle in a one-page Word document. In fact, one could fill a library with books written on this topic. Therefore, I’m not going to do that, but I will offer a (very) brief overview because it’s so important for our sexual awareness/ liberation.

First: you people are some sick muthafuckas! I’ve been inside your heads and you all have some of the sickest, dirtiest, nastiest fantasies.

Yeah you!

LOL!

But I’m not going to get into the content of sexual fantasies this go round (that’s be for next week). Today, I’m going to attempt some clarification, however briefly and then I’m headed back to the beach and my Russian Sex Kitten/ Beach Bunny (I can’t tell you her age because she’s the youngest woman I’ve had in my adult life – and yes, she’s an adult!).

As I stated before, the brain is the most fascinating, most versatile sex toy you own. While it’s a fact that without the brain responding to stimuli and sending messages to the rest of the body, you would have as much sexual feeling as a piece of wood, it’s also within the brain’s capacity to gather a vast supply of erotic material. These are known as fantasies. It’s your fantasies that make the brain such a powerful sex toy, since fantasies can be revisited an endless number of times for sexual pleasure.

Here’s one of my faves:

I’m a teacher and a remarkably sexy female student sits in the front row. She’s wearing a very short skirt and when she sits down, I notice she’s not wearing any underwear. We make eye contact and I realize, to my surprise, that’s she’s smiling at me.

At the end of class, she approaches me and tells me she’s having problems with some class material, could she set an appointment to see me. I invite her to stay after class and no sooner that all the students file out, she turns around and bends over to pick up a sheet of paper… ”

You get the rest of idea. You know Eddie’s gonna fuck her in the ass smoothly and lovingly. LOL!

Now, some may say this is corrupt. I would disagree. In fact, most mentally unbalanced individuals do not have a rich sexual fantasy life. Most sexually motivated serial killers, for example, are tortured by their fantasies. They spend an enormous amount of psychological energy repressing their fantasies.

The fact is that most of our sexual fantasies are things we would never do. For example, I would never have sex with an under-age adolescent girl, but it is a fantasy and it doesn’t mean I would act out on that fantasy. On the contrary, there is evidence showing that fantasies help relieve our frustrations and anxieties, and in cognitive terms, if I take my fantasy about the female student to its logical conclusion, it allows me to realize its inappropriateness. In cognitive psychology, for example, one method of taking apart false beliefs is by helping the client take those often self-defeating and erroneous beliefs to its conclusions.

Simply put, sexual fantasies are illusions or daydreams people have about specific experiences. Part of the power of sexual fantasies may come from guilt (taboo) or fear (such as in the fear of getting caught sexing in public).Many fantasies have their root in childhood development and continue to be primary sources of pleasure throughout life, other individuals change fantasies regularly. I would submit that there is a connection between sexual experimentation and the ability to create new fantasies.

Being over powered by a sex partner is one of the most popular sexual fantasies. In my limited experience, I have met many women who have a deep attraction to abduction or rape fantasies and like to be “taken.” Right up there with being over powered is the fantasy of having sex with a stranger. In fact, in my exploration of the research, I would say sex with a stranger is probably tops. There is this powerful human attraction of sex with a stranger – the other. This is reflected in our culture when we fantasize about having sex with movie stars or performers. These are people we wouldn’t know from a hole in the wall (pun intended), and yet we entertain in some case elaborate sexual fantasies about these individuals.

As I stated before, certain fantasies visualize situations they would not want to experience in real life. These fantasies are specifically designed to increase adrenaline and excitement levels to the point of being able to orgasm without the help of a partner. Believe me, in my mind, I have fucked that school tramp a million times. LOL! Just so you know, some of the fantasies of quite normal people can be quite sadistic and violent sadistic fantasies might serve the function of relieving stress and aggression more than sexual tension. If you feel guilty because you consider your fantasies sick or violent, you should read the case histories of otherwise tame and harmless individuals. LOL!

Oh, man! You people are sick!

But that’s for another post…

Love,

Eddie