The Friday Sex Blog [Fantasies, pt. I]

Hola Everybody,

A few years ago I got the following in a text message from a psycho-ex “internet fiancé”:

9,000 people are fucking right now, 2,000 are kissing, 1,000 are getting head, and one lonely fucker is reading text messages. You hang in there sunshine… ” LMAO!

Fantasy

Repression is not morality.

The brain, my dear friends, is the largest sex organ, and if intelligence equates to sexual prowess, then imma bad ma’fucca! I’m joking!

While you may be aware of the brain’s vital role our sexual lives, it may never have occurred to you that it’s also an incredibly resourceful sex toy. Today, I’m going to write about fantasy, but it will have to be incomplete. This topic is much too rich and profound to attempt to tackle in a one-page, single-line MS Word document. In fact, one could fill a library with books written on this topic. Therefore, I’m not going to do that, but I will offer a (very) brief overview because it’s so important for our sexual awareness/ liberation.

First: you people are some sick muthafuckas! I’ve been inside your heads and you all have some of the sickest, dirtiest, nastiest fantasies. 

Yeah you! LOL

But I’m not going to get into the content of sexual fantasies this go-round. Today, I’m going to attempt some clarification, however briefly.

As I stated before, the brain is the most fascinating, most versatile sex toy you own. While it is a fact that without the brain responding to stimuli and sending messages to the rest of the body, you would have as much sexual feeling as a piece of wood, it is also within the brain’s capacity to gather a vast supply of erotic material. These are known as fantasies. It is your fantasies that make the brain such a powerful sex toy, since fantasies can be revisited an endless number of times for sexual pleasure. Here’s one of my faves:

Some say certain fantasies are corrupt. I would disagree. On the contrary, most mentally unbalanced individuals do not have a rich internal sexual fantasy life. Case histories of most sexually motivated serial killers, for example, show they are tortured by their fantasies. They spend an enormous amount of psychological energy repressing their fantasies.

The fact is that most of our sexual fantasies are things we would never do. For example, an individual who would never have sex with an under-age adolescent girl, might still harbor such a fantasy and never act out on it. In fact, there is evidence showing that fantasies help relieve our frustrations and anxieties and, in cognitive terms, allows people to grasp its inappropriateness. In cognitive psychology, for example, one method of taking apart false beliefs is by helping the client take those often self-defeating and erroneous beliefs to their conclusions.

Simply put, sexual fantasies are illusions or daydreams people have about specific experiences. Part of the power of sexual fantasies may come from guilt (taboo) or fear (such as in the fear of getting caught sexing in public). Many fantasies have their root in childhood development and continue to be primary sources of pleasure throughout life. Other individuals change fantasies regularly. I would submit that there is a connection between actual sexual experimentation and the ability to create new fantasies.

The feeling of being overpowered by a sex partner is one of the most popular sexual fantasies. Studies show that some women have a deep attraction to abduction or rape fantasies and like to be “taken.” Right up there with being overpowered is the fantasy of having sex with a stranger. In fact, at least with research I have encountered on the subject, I would say sex with a stranger is probably tops. There is this powerful human attraction of sex with a stranger -- The Other. This is reflected in our culture when we fantasize about having sex with movie stars or performers. These are people we wouldn’t know from a hole in the wall (pun intended), and yet we entertain in some case elaborate sexual fantasies about these individuals (Halle Berry!).

As I stated before, certain fantasies evoke situations most people would not want to experience in real life. These fantasies are specifically designed to increase adrenaline and excitement levels to the point of being able to orgasm without the help of a partner. Believe me, you don’t want to know what’s in my mind (and I probably don’t want to know yours)! Just so you know, some of the fantasies of quite normal people can be quite sadistic and violent sadistic fantasies might serve the function of relieving stress and aggression more than sexual tension. If you feel guilty because you consider your fantasies sick or violent, you should read the case histories of otherwise tame and harmless individuals. In fact, you people are sick.

But that’s for the next post…

My name is Eddie and I'm in recovery from civilization...