The TGIF Sex Blog [The Opening]

¡Hola! Everybody...
The following is a response to a question posed to me by a friend...

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(above: "Gee-Gee")

-=[ The Persistence of Love and its Opening ]=-

So quiet now
soften yourself and listen,
connected and motionless.

To the symphonic pulsing of our blood,
the crash of an eyelid,
the joyous tickle of a bead of sweat.

Your deepest feminine desire is for your heart to flow open with love. No matter how much success you experience in your professional or academic life, the core of your heart will not feel fulfilled unless love is flowing in your life.

Deep love.

Trusting love.

A love that allows you to surrender and relax into its full grace.

You can feel the measure of your openness now. Is your womb filled with yielding pleasure? Are your inner thighs pulsating with life? Are your lips ripe, sticky-sweet with love’s kiss? Is your heart open, vulnerable, blossomed open with the power of a dark night’s storm? If you are sexually aroused, can you express love’s pleasure through your legs, your arms, your spilled moans of overflowing joy?

No matter how much in control or self-directed you have grown, your heart blooms when filled with love. When you are denied love you feel hurt and then the flower of your deepest heart closes in on itself. Suppose you heart is wide open, ready to flow with love, but your lover is unloving. Wounded by love’s denial, your vulnerable heart withers. Closing down in the act of protecting itself, your heart becomes hard.

It is said that pain is the breaking of the limits of your understanding, but the contraction of the heart is something much deeper -- and ultimately much more painful. Your frustrated yearning for love lies confined within the walls of pain’s closure. Anger builds. You make demands. You express rage, or worse, turn it inward. Behind the most feminine anger is the deep yearning for love.

There is a part of you, the in-control, self-directed part, that yearns only for freedom. Your masculine heart yearns not for love’s fullness but to be free, liberated from the shackles of life. Perhaps you think to yourself that one day your hard work will diminish your burdens. You will have the economic freedom to do what you want. You will figure it all out, grasp some unified theory of everything, and your problems will be solved. You will finish all your projects and you will be fullfilled. You will know enough, have enough, or succeed enough so that you will no longer be afraid of failure or loss.

In this moment -- here, right now -- are you waiting for that ideal time before you are willing to relax and open, exactly as you are? Are you aiming for the “one day” when you will finally be free to do what you really want to do? Do you ever become angry at your lover or your children because you feel trapped by their needs?

Your needs, or your anger, can be a warning to open more deeply. Why not open more deeply than your need for freedom or love right now? I think I have a clue: it’s because you are entangled in the drama of your life story. The drama of needs that seem compellingly necessary or at the very least significant. Or perhaps what you’re feeling is unlove.

You will test love.

Sabotage love.

Deny love.

You pine to feel a love that can withstand your tests, survive your sabotages, asserting itself through your denials. You want to feel your lover loving you even when you resist -- especially when you resist. “You don’t love me,” you say, in the hopes your lover will rise to the bait and say, “Yes, I do love you.” Love isn’t enough; it is the persistence of love that you value most.

A good love story requires that love be somehow threatened. In a good love story, love is found, lost, but ultimately love prevails. Your heart yearns for the triumph of love over loss.

But you can choose to go deeper than the drama of your life’s narrative right now. You can use the energy of your hurt or anger to cut through the entropy and plunge into the deepest heart of the matter. Rather than projecting anger, blame, and hope outward toward people and life (as if your relationships and plans can ever fulfill you), plunge into the deepest desire of your heart and gather your cues from the depth of your heart.

Feel into your heart, into love’s depth, feel everything that happens. Feel open now, this very moment. Relax into openness so you can feel this entire moment.

Still yourself.

Quiet yourself and listen...

The love you long for, the freedom for which you aim, is alive within you as long as you are open... now.

Love,

Eddie