Friday, July 4, 2008

[un]Common Sense Sex Blog [Pregnancy and Sex]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Jesse Helms, racist U.S. senator is dead and thank your God for that. The world is a better place without the likes of him. Click here for documented instances of his blatant racism.

Here’s wishing everybody a safe and joyous holiday weekend! I'm off to a picnic and the fireworks display.

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-=[Pregnant Poosie ]=-

It’s an awesome feat of American Puritanism to convince us that sex and pregnancy do not mix. It’s the ultimate virgin/ whore distinction. For those nine months, please don’t mention how we got this way – we’re Mary now.
-- Susie Bright

This post was inspired in part by Alicia’s (Lee Lee) rant regarding pregnant women and men’s tendency to talk about how good pregnant poosie is (click here). To be clear, Lee Lee’s rant was more about how men tend to disrespect women in general and pregnant women in particular. I agree with that part. Guys don’t need to be telling women they barely know how much they like pregnant poosie. That’s just plain stupid.

However! There is something to be said about sex with a pregnant woman. I remember the first time I had sex with my son’s mother and how I was blown away by the whole experience. And it’s not just the fact that men are awed by the fact that a woman is carrying a life inside of her. That was part of it, but for me, it was a very small part. The fact was that my son’s mother’s pussy felt different, tasted different and her responsiveness was very different. Sex with my son’s mother while she was preggers was a totally different experience and I couldn’t get enough of her.

Of course, our relationship was so dysfunctional that eventually just looking at me was enough to send my son’s mother into an extreme state of agitation. I couldn’t be in the same room with my ex during the last three-four months of my son’s mother’s pregnancy.

But that’s another story.

My curiosity piqued by Lee Lee’s rant, I went, did some research, reviewed my notes, and I came up with some rather interesting findings…

First, I found that there’s precious little written about pregnancy and sex. It seems that our embedded cultural anti-sex bias demands that we keep sex separate from pregnancy. I don’t know about you, but for me the irony I sense whenever I see a pregnant woman is that it’s a walking/ talking advertisement that she fucked – and fucked hard. LOL! Everybody knows you fucked, sweetie! Can’t deny it. But back to my post: there’s very little written on sexuality during and after pregnancy and it’s a shame because women are kept in the dark.

What little information that is out there is so vague that it misses the opportunity to explain the dramatic changes in women’s sexual physiology and desires. A lot is written on how to cope with a husband's response to body image and the burden pregnancy puts on the normal sexual routine (one should never use the words “sex” and “routine” in the same sentence! LOL!). The most telling insight these books offer is: Sometimes she’s hot, sometimes she’s not.


Fact one: your clit will grow. Yup. The Little Man in the Boat will grow and your pussy lips will become engorged with blood; your labia will grow fatter, your clitoris pushing out slightly out of its hood. This is not unusual, most women experience these changes.

Many women report feeling unusually amorous and sensual. This is not unusual since a pregnant woman's body is flooded with the neurochemcial respoinsbile for feelings of love and bonding, known as the "cuddle chemical." Conversely, some women find, later in their pregnancy, that they cannot successfully masturbate in the same way they have for years. The engorged clitoris feels different, sometimes too sensitive to touch in the usual way.

According to the “experts,” it’s a huge mystery why some women get more horny when they’re pregnant while others lose interest. I think that’s bullshit – part of a cultural bias in sex research. I don’t think anyone loses interest. What happens is that normal sexual patterns cease to work in the same way. Unless you and your lover make the adaptation to new ways of getting sexually aroused and reaching orgasm, you’re going to be extremely depressed about sex and probably start avoiding it all together.

It’s not even about sexual technique, either. Feeling both desirable and protected are essential to a pregnant woman, and if that feeling of safety is not there, she will build a fortress that will never be penetrated.

Personally, I don’t believe that some women don’t feel sexual during those nine long months. I believe many are frightened by the sexual changes their growing bodies demand. I have had many women tell me, “I was so horny; I just didn’t know how to explain it, or how to tell anyone.”

Contrary to Mary’s purported immaculate conception, your average woman goes through major sexual transformation. A pregnant woman’s vagina feels different because it is different. The lubrication increases; its smell and texture are different. Often in a state of a pregnancy-induced type “yeast infection,” her genitals smell sweet. Some say a pregnant woman’s genitals smell like a big cookie.

My ex would tell me that when we fucked during her pregnancy, her pussy felt more elastic. She was more passive sexually, and aside from passively receiving my cock, she didn’t seem to want to do much but float in sexual bliss. She did want to fuck a lot though, and that was OK by me.

There’s a lot of controversy about positions, but it’s a fabricated controversy. The truth is that you don’t get huge for at least five or six months. One commentator noted that sexual advice to pregnant women resembles a sports manual. This emphasis on sexual positions is bullshit. You can fuck on your back for a long time if you so desire, as long as your partner isn’t one of those slobs who likes to collapse upon you. I doubt that’s desirable even to non-pregnant women. Wanna fuck while flat on your belly? Go ahead. Of course, it may be impossible after, like, the fifth or six month, but what the fuck, go for it. You can spoon, if you like. It’s often recommended that women get on top, but I have to wonder how many pregnant women really feel up to that shit. Of course, I love pregnant poosie mostly because I get to hit it from behind, which is my favorite position anyway. Nothing like the strong smell of musk while getting a bird’s eye view of that ass while I slammin’ that pussy!

Most importantly, sex is a crucial way to prepare for childbirth. Start with the idea that birth will be the biggest sex act you will ever perform, and everything else will flow from that. If you’re smart and are taking childbirth preparation classes, you might learn a thing or two. For example, there’s the “perineal massage”: “Daddy” should massage and finger the vaginal opening until he could put more and more of his fingers inside, relaxing the vaginal muscles through such caresses (and hopefully some licking and sucking), until he might be able to insert part or even his whole hand into “Mommy’s” opening.

::blank stare::

Yup, “perineal massage” is just another name for fist fucking – and it really helps! LOL

Think about it: a hand going in is a lot like a baby’s head going out. You figure it out… Just imagine how much more confident you will be about giving birth knowing that you’ve practiced fisting!

Most sex experts are mum on using a vibrator on your clit to counteract contractions, but I have anecdotal evidence from at least one expert who matter-of-factly states, “I have a great photograph of me in the delivery room, dilated to six centimeters, with a blissful look on my face and my Hitachi Magic Wand nestled against my pubic bone.” LOL! According to her, she wasn't thinking of climaxing, but the pleasure of the rhythm on her clit was like icing on top of the deep, thick contractions in her womb.

There’s a lot more to discuss here, especially sex after childbirth, but this post is already way too many mouse scrolls. My message is that we are so utterly conditioned to not seeing birthing as a sexual act, that we are missing something important. You can’t separate sex from pregnancy, people. Everybody knows a pregnant woman fucked and was fucked and probably fucked good and hard.



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