Fools, Budgets and a [brief] History of my Cock

¡Hola! Everybody...
These days, it’s almost ridiculous to debate a conservative -- they’ve finally gone out of their collective minds. If it weren’t for Welfare for the Rich, most of these dodos would’ve been phased out by evolution...

Take the budget they released yesterday. It makes sense that a party currently being run by fringe lunatics such as Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Michele Bachmann would release its alternative budget on April Fools” Day.

Not only do the Republicans propose a five-year plan spending freeze in the midst of a recession which, by most accounts will annul any sort of economic recovery and has been proved wrong by history, it also cuts taxes by 10 percent for the same Wall Street executives whose actions largely got us into this economic mess in the first place. In other words: Republicans released a budget that rewards wealthy corporate executives while blocking any attempt to dig us out of the economic catastrophe they created.

I know, I know, you’re going to tell me that these pesky Cons are only pulling my leg and that today they’ll release a statement to the effect of, “Jess kidding, folks.” Ummmmm... actually, it only reads as a joke. These charlatans are dead serious:

The Center for Tax Justice estimates that the Republican tax plan costs $300 billion more than the Obama plan.

What? You think I’m kidding?!! Read on...

Over a fourth of taxpayers, mostly low-income families, would pay more in taxes under the House GOP plan than they would under the President’s plan.

The richest one percent of taxpayers would pay $100,000 less, on average, under the House GOP plan than they would under the President’s plan.

The income tax proposals in the House GOP plan, which is presented as a fiscally responsible alternative to the President’s plan, would cost over $300 billion more than the Obama income tax cuts in 2011 alone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m seeing the gloom and doom people talking about the end of civilization as we know it and most of them -- under the guise of civil libertarianism, or some perverted form of neo-conservatism (I’m aware that last label is repetitive), are suggesting we do more of the same that got us here, or to do nothing. Even Hoover was smarter than that, and he wasn’t very smart at all. Remind me again, why people still vote republican? I used to take pleasure in broiling the looneytarians and neocons, but they’ve become so easy it’s not fun any more...

SMH

I'm gone all day...

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-=[ A (Brief) History of my Cock ]=-

Dearest reader, what you hold in your hand right now is the story of my cock…

LMAO!

I always wanted to write something like that! Well, actually, you would not be “holding” anything, but, more likely, gazing, so I should amend the above to something more appropriate.

I have been reading an engaging cultural history of the penis, and while it is at times humorous, it is edifying. After all, my cock, whether friend or foe, demon or god, the source of satisfaction or root of all evil, has forced humanity to wrestle with its mysteries.

Surely, I can hold my cock in my hand, but who is gripping whom? Is my cock the best in me – or the beast? How am I supposed to use it? More importantly, perhaps, when does that use become abuse? Of all my bodily organs, only my cock forces me to confront certain contradictions. My cock is a tool that creates but also destroys. And for those who don’t have a cock, just try imagining your G-spot swinging large between your legs and you might get a notion of how my cock can be both a part of and apart from my body.

It is a scientific fact that I have a cock. How I think about it, feel about it, and use it, is not. My cock is more than a body part, it is also an idea. Throughout history, how Western society constructed my cock has evolved and with those changes came different ways of constructing, or conceptualizing, my cock. With those changes in ideas, came changes of the use of my cock.

My cock was worshiped by ancient cultures and later demonized by the early Roman church. Later, renaissance artists such as da Vinci and Michelangelo removed my cock from the rule of the church and began to try to understand it in scientific terms. After being studied and “measured,” my cock was then used to oppress some races while elevating others, and eventually psychoanalyzed by Sigmund Freud. As a result, my cock assumed an important place in psychology – having been used to define those by whether or not they had a cock like mine.

Feminists politicized my cock and it has been exploited in countless ways by pop culture. Today, my cock has been medicalized and with the arrival of the multimillion-dollar erection industry, with the birth of Viagra and other drugs, my cock is more than a health of business story. The erection industry is the latest (and perhaps the last?) chapter in one of the longest sagas in human history: the story of my relationship with my cock.

Love,

Eddie