Lou Dobbs & The Messakin Swine

¡Hola! Everybody... It will be hot... hot... hot in The Center of the Known Universe today. Always a good thing. Yeah, some of you are already complaining of the heat. You haven’t even had enough time to stop complaining of the cold... SMH

Today, I wade into the immigration issue and I also lend my dos centavos on the Pandemic of the Killer Swine... fuckin’ Mexicain’ts!

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-=[ Attack of the Messakin Killer Swine ]=-

“... The invasion of illegal aliens is threatening the health of many Americans.”

-- Lou Dobbs, bigoted TV Asswipe

In April 2005, CNN's Lou Dobbs aired a report by CNN correspondent Christine Romans about how the “There were about 900 cases of leprosy for 40 years. There have been 7,000 in the past three years.” Dobbs responded, his jowls shaking in contempt, “Incredible.” I don’t watch Lou “Don’t Call Me Luís” Dobbs, because, well, I like my fiction from masters of the craft like James Joyce, Faulkner, and Gabriel García Márquez. However, I can only imagine the field day he’s having with this swine flu pandemic (how many times have you heard this word in the last 24 hours? OMG!! You're going to die?!!)

By the way, that report above by Dobbs & Co.? Totally fabricated. He’s been exposed on the lie, by the way: he’s refused to own up to it. In any case, I know many of you are thinking that these fuckin’ Messakins are a health hazard to us up here in the pure Norte. After all, we have a clean food supply, plentiful access to health care, and our water supply is without parallel. Right?

Right?

It’s those unclean brown muthafuckas that are the disease! Just so that we know, you can’t blame them fuckin’ Messakins on the Swine Flu “Pandemic.” The origins of the new Swine Influenza Virus SIV-H1N1 strain remain unknown. One theory is that Asian and European strains traveled to Mexico in migratory birds or in people, then combined with North American strains in Mexican pig factory farms before jumping over to farm workers. These things happen here too!

I think the real point in blaming messakins is that we seem to need a scapegoat in order to keep us distracted from the ones that are actually doing the harm -- the power elite. I would be willing to bet that some who are reading this are of the notion that Mexicans are lazy, don’t have enough gratitude for America to learn Ingles. Some of you think they are getting rich on Welfare and food stamps because we all know rich people like to live in conditions where there are 10-15 people to a room, or you have to sleep in shifts! And they are taking away your jobs! I mean, if we could just get rid of these messakins, Blacks, po’ white folk, and others too ungrateful to work for Target or Mr. Walton, could be picking fruit 16 hours a day for less than minimum wage. Messakins depress wages! They bring disease! They are too stupid, not like earlier immigrants who came to these shores and upon arrival, bent over and kissed this fine land of ours!

And you know? The U.S. government shares your concerns, Luis. The Dillingham Commission released a forty-two volume study on the waves of immigrants that concluded, “The new immigrant as a class is far less intelligent than the old... Generally speaking they are actuated in coming by different ideals, for the old immigration came to be a part of the country, while the new, in large measure, comes with the intentions of profiting, in pecuniary ways, by the superior advantages of the new world and then returning to the old country.” This report went on to fault the new immigrants for their lack of assimilation and English skills, constantly comparing them with earlier generations of immigrants, and urged a clampdown on immigration.

Sound familiar, huh? Lou Dobbs would wet his pantaletas! Ann Coulter would finally have an orgasm! Bill O’Reilly wouldn’t be as overcome with emotion if he saw the baby Hey-zeus at Christmas-time!

The problem is that the Dillingham report appeared in 1911, and the unwashed masses at the time were Eastern and Southern Europeans (predecessors of today’s white trash, I would expect. LOL!). The Dillingham Commission only manages to prove that the time-honored conservative narrative that earlier generations of immigrants walked off the boats, chopped down their hard to pronounce surnames, and learned English immediately is bullshit.

If American racism is a carousel -- then here we go again...

Paz,

Eddie