Sex & Spirit

¡Hola! Everybody...
It’s all about sex on Fridays... right? LOL

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-=[ Sex & Spirituality ]=-

In the first stage, people use sex for selfish reasons. In the second stage, people share sexuality as a means for loving one another. In the third stage, people use sexuality to open one another to the very recognition of oneness.

-- David Deida

I was celibate for 14 years. Then I turned fifteen. Oh boy!

-- Steve Bhaerman

Too often sex is used as a way to satisfy primal urges, or express love between two (or more) intimate partners. However, as David Deida exemplifies, sex can and should be about so much more. In terms of spirituality sex is a too often underutilized transformative tool.

Think about it: there has to be more than seeking worldly accomplishments and money. You see it all the time, people set goals, achieve them, and then it’s on to the next thing, project, person, etc. There’s always this nagging sense that there should be more. So we look for the fabled “One.” You know which one I’m talking about: “The One” who will fulfill us, make us happy ever after.

Don’t misunderstand, I certainly can appreciate we all want to be loved, to be found sexy, to be nurtured, and valued. The problem lies in how we look for these things and this is where sex gets (pardon the pun) sticky. For some, sex often is about going through a series of relationships, always looking for the most attractive partner, just to make sure there’s no missing out. What happens, however, is that after the initial thrill is gone, I see too many left wondering, “Is this it?”

We get tired of the merry-go-round and sometimes we marry, but that feeling inside still gnaws at you, “This just isn’t it, it can’t be it.” Then, more times than not, the marriage falls apart, and for some reason that’s when you start thinking (well, some of us do) that we have to do something to create this shift in thinking, to realize a different existence. I don’t know what happens to you at this point, but for me, this meant taking a step back and looking inside. I mean, how many times can we continue to externalize? Eventually, we have to look right here -- inside.

So, I looked within, put in the work, and I discovered that it’s all here. Everything I need to be happy and to feel a sense of fulfillment exists right here in this very moment. It’s not that I feel “I” have everything and don’t need anyone. On the contrary, part of my realization comes from an understanding that thinking myself as separate from you and the world is a huge mistake. I create “Eddie” for many reasons, some of them necessary, but mostly I create my identity as a response to my sense of feeling small and lost in this big old world.

I mean, c'mon, we're thrust into this world brutally and the only thing we can be sure of to this Cosmic Joke is the punchline -- death. Some of us create mass movements based on a life in the hereafter, but I think that rings hollow for many.

What happened was that I realized I didn’t need to defend against perceived “threats” to the point where I’m isolating from others. Slowly, but surely, I came to the point where I could drop all the drama and become vulnerable, as scary and screwed up as that sounds. It is only then that sex can then become a divine tool in which two mature adults can be intimate in ways that can be life-changing.

To be vulnerable like that -- who wants to do that? Not many, it’s scary as all hell, but we can’t come together until we open up completely in that way. Otherwise, sex becomes a way to barter for, not manifest, love.

Love,

Eddie