The TGIF Sex Blog [The Best Little Whorehouse in DC]

¡Hola! Everybody...
You know, I’m so sick and tired of hearing white lawmakers saying that if they said something similar to Doña Sotomayor’s “wise Latina” comment, their political careers would be over.

Huh?!!

We have, like over 200 years of crackers like Pat Buchanan, Strom Thurmond, George Wallace, and many, many others saying fucked up shit about people of color! LOL! Shit! Current Sen. “Crackhead” Sessions is a US senator though he called a black man a “boy” and likened civil rights organizations to the KKK. Buchanan is a Holocaust denier and self-professed Hitler admirer! LOL A black muthafucka can’t even admit to knowing, let alone admire, a Farrakhan, for example, without having to pay dire political consequences...

And when are we going to put to rest the myth that whiteness is neutral?

I may not be able to finish this today...

* * *

-=[The C Street Boys: Guilt, Shame & Sex ]=-

Or: The Best Little Whorehouse in DC

It’s not widely reported in the MSM, but apparently there is a Christian-run neocon whorehouse in DC on C St. Almost all the neocon bad boys such as Ensign and Sanders -- both of whom called for Clinton’s resignation during the Lewinsky affair, by the way-- stay there. They fuck their mistresses there, sit down and “fellowship,” sharing the sordid details of the extra-marital affairs there. Who knows what those repressed freaks do there!

The question, I guess, is why do so many who set themselves up as morally superior, often act in a depraved manner when they think no one is looking.

While the answer to such a question cannot be distilled into a snazzy republican soundbite, I do feel that shame and guilt, combined with sex and power often makes for strange bedfellows (pun intended!).

Let’s start with guilt, or the feeling of being found out. Everyone has experienced guilt at one time or another. In fact, literally millions of people are burdened by feelings of guilt of all kinds, especially sexual guilt. But what is guilt, where does it come from, and more specifically, what is sexual guilt?

Guilt comes from an Old English term gylt which refers to a fine for an offense. In modern usage, guilt signifies the state of having committed a transgression, of being in violation of the law. Subjectively, guilt stands for the sense of having done wrong, of being blameworthy. It is a concern over the rightness or wrongness of one’s action. This concern implies a worry that one might be found out or caught, suffering consequences. This form of worry can be manifested even without a person having done anything wrong; the mere thought or intention to do so is sometimes enough to evoke extreme feelings of guilt.

Oftentimes, our feelings of guilt are disproportionate to their causes. It is as if we’re conditioned to have a guilt button that goes off at the slightest provocation.

Let me say that not all guilt is unhealthy. Guilt, like anger or jealousy, is a normal emotion. Psychologists like to distinguish between what they call situational guilt and modal guilt. Situational guilt comes from actually having a committed a wrong (as in causing a woman’s anus to be sore *grin*); modal guilt is the vague feeling of having sinned, which clings to a person like an unpleasant odor. Situational guilt is healthy, but modal guilt is neurotic. Modal guilt is a frozen feeling that creates a habitual pattern, which is dysfunctional because it blocks the free flow of your thoughts and actions.

Still with me?!! LOL there’s much more to guilt, it has deeper roots that reach down into the human condition itself, but it’s getting late.

Let’s move on to shame, or the feeling of being unworthy. While guilt and shame are closely related, there is a significant difference. Guilt is the bad feeling we get from having known we have done something wrong or bad. Shame, on the other hand, is the painful feeling that we are bad or unworthy. This distinction between doing something unworthy and being unworthy has come to play in the field of addiction and recovery. Shamed people believe that something is basically wrong with them as human beings, while guilty people believe that they have done something wrong that can be corrected. Another major difference is that shamed people are usually bothered by their shortcomings, whereas guilty people notice their wrongful acts. Finally, a shamed person lives in fear of being abandoned because they feel unworthy (and you thought it was your parent’s fault, huh? LOL)

Looked at in this way, one can see how shame may follow guilt or how it may feed guilt. The only way a shamed person can heal is by changing their self-concept so that she gains self-confidence or ego-strength. The two emotions combine to create a revolving door that keeps a person trapped in a perpetual spin. Therefore, we must deal directly with guilt and shame if we want to evolve and overcome sexual dysfunction. Whew! LOL

If you’re wondering what this has to do with neocons, well, just note that shame and guilt are the two most widely used measures of control in religious orthodoxy...

Still with me?

Guilt and shame are especially prominent in the area of sexuality. Many men and women feel guilty about sex itself; they think sex dirty or base. (Please note that many practitioners know that even those clients who deny having guilt feelings soon discover, when confronted with their unconscious that they are in fact sitting on a boatload of guilt.)

Many avoid having sex, or if they do have sex, it is in the form of a fast encounter in the dark. Such people almost never talk about sex, or have difficulty in discussing sexual matters openly. Their sexual frustration spills over into their marital and professional lives. Oftentimes, they act out their repressed sexual desires in highly dysfunctional ways; or become obsessed with sexual acts they consider taboo. This sex-negative attitude is most clearly evident in religious fundamentalist circles.

As those in the helping professions can attest, the forms of sexual guilt and shame and their permutations are almost infinite. Sex is most troubling to those who know least about sex, and sexual ignorance dogs the lives of religious puritans. As one of my professors phrased it, “Those who are religiously rigid tend to be sexually frigid.”

It’s no wonder the politicians who claim to hold the higher moral ground often fall short of their own standards. In having made sex a “problem,” Christianity has paid a huge disservice to civilization. Driving human sexuality into the dark recesses of their psyches, religious fundamentalists become a slave to it, rather than its master.

Love,

Eddie