So, allow me to clarify some things: my real age is 54: I am 54 years-old today. I list my birthday as 6/06/06 because I like the perversity of the sixes (666). Yes, I am an “evil doer”! A heretical subversive socialist with anarchist leanings. LOL
Secondly, yes, I can be a drama queen... but shit! I was born on a Monday in
How much more dramatic can it get?!!
I know it’s horrible to brag, but I’m rawking this 54 in the ass and life is fuckin’ good! I will be spending the earlier part of the day with my mother and sister, and then later tonight -- I can’t say! LOL My mother keeps asking where I’m going. LOL
A friend took me to see The Hangover yesterday and it was hilarious:
While I find too many comedies today (fuck Will Ferrell) appeal to the lowest common denominator, and I would appreciate some irony once in a while, this male bonding flick is belly-laugh funny. It reminds me of my own hangovers/ blackouts (if I could ever remember them).
Which brings me to today’s [re]post... my gift to you.
* * *
-=[ Genuine Happiness ]=-
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
I love this quote because it captures my general philosophy in life. I’ve lived a full life, been to places most people never even dream of, and along the way experienced extreme joy and pain, happiness and a lot of unnecessary suffering. But if I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t change one thing. Life is perfectly unfolding no matter how imperfectly I may perceive that fact.
I wouldn’t change one thing… mostly because I am genuinely happy today and all the shit that came before is responsible for my life, who I am, and where I’m at as well as where I’m headed. Most people wouldn’t understand what I say by happiness and it’s hard to explain in words. I think it’s because many people seem to be very unhappy.
I’m not talking about mere contentment. I’m talking about an invincible joy at the very core of my being. Some people get me confused: I’m not some blissful idiot walking through life tip-toeing through the fuckin tulips. I went through a lot to get to where I am today. I have survived experiences you couldn’t even begin to wrap your mind around in order to get this present moment. I get angry, happy, horny (a lot), sad, frustrated -- all the petty bullshit we al go through, I experience all that as well. But all that shit? Can’t touch this -- can’t come near what I have.
It’s yours too, you know. If you stopped chasing the clouds and looked at the sky for one moment, you would get a glimpse.
Life doesn’t suck, you suck. I’m sorry to break the news, but your pain isn’t all that unique. I know, I know, I don’t understand your terminal uniqueness (no one does) and all this doesn’t apply to you, because your shit is special, but come back to me when you want to do something other than bitch about it.
I’m the worst guy for your pity party and I make my own mother cry, so what chance do you stand?!!
Here’s my birthday gift to you: Two perspectives, which one is right?
1. My life really sucks right about now. My job is getting to me and I’m tired of doing the same shit and I need to be challenged in different ways. Face it, I’m in a professional rut. I don’t have a real girlfriend and I’m horrible at relationships. I really suck at relationships! I don’t even own a cat. I’m tired of this city; my friends are lazy and unmotivated. My life sucks! LIFE SUCKS Woe is I!
2. I earn a good income involving work I’m extremely passionate about. I get up in the morning and I feel a creative sense of direction and purpose in my life. For the first time in my life, I feel as if it’s all coming together and I’m at my peak intellectually, open emotionally, and enjoying my sexuality in ways I never dreamed of before. Best of all, my happiness isn’t contingent on any person, place, or thing. In short, today I possess an embarrassment of riches, living a life only a few ever realize.
Which of the above is true?
Actually? Neither one!
Well, according to “me,” the second point of view is my reality, but even that is not even close to the “truth.” The ultimate truth is like the clear blue sky. What they call “Big Sky Mind” is Zen. All that shit I listed above are like clouds that pass across the sky. Sometimes the clouds are dark and threatening and block the sky from our vision. Other times, the clouds are beautiful cumulus clouds creating cotton candy type shapes in the sky. At times, it rains and thunders, other times the sky is clear and blue. But the one thing that never changes is the sky itself. The sky stays the same. It never left or changed; we just perceive it that way.
I see too many people chasing clouds. People go on at great length about cloud formations, predicting the rain, or bemoaning the absence of sunshine. All this cloud analyzing is nothing more than mental masturbation and a huge waste of time.
The sky is there. It just is. It will be there tomorrow and forever and a day.
If you’re not happy right now, this very moment, even in the midst of all the shit you’re going through, what makes you think you’ll be happy somewhere else, or with someone else? I will guarantee you will never be happy, no matter where you are, who you are with, or how much money or material possessions you amass, you will somehow find a way to bitch and moan about some bullshit. Why? Because at a fundamental level you’re not happy. If you want to be happy, to experience some measure of joy in your life, then start now. Otherwise, get ready to bitch some more.
That’s my birthday gift to you, my friends. This moment right now. This is it. Go for it...