Hola mi Gente,
I've been wanting very much to post some version of this for quite some time. Thank you all, but especially to my sister and her husband for being here for me…
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Work to Do
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
-- Albert Camus
I've been meaning to send out a formal note of appreciation for all of my supporters of my campaign (here), but I was waiting for some good news before I did that.
First, the support you all showed me went a long way in boosting my morale at a time where I was really struggling. Secondly, I was able to pay off my storage and cellphone fees, and your donations will help me rent a room, so that I will no longer be technically homeless. This is huge for me, obviously. Finally, yesterday I was offered a position at a criminal justice reform organization. It’s for less than I was making before (much less) and not exactly where I saw myself heading, but it’s a J-O-B! So, I’m happy about that. I am hoping that improving my situation from the advantage of being employed will yield better results.
For me, it’s been a long and challenging “winter.” At the same time, the past eight months also has allowed me the space to become more introspective, to reserve energy, and to look within. Sometimes the seasons mirror the emotions we grapple with: we suddenly see or sense conflicting emotions within ourselves. The cold of winter presses in on us and we may feel tested by its sharp bite.
Yet, when we think we cannot bear a moment longer, we find a force within, an inner reassurance that comes like a summer breeze and says we do what we must. Perhaps it comes in a moment of despair, and then the realization we have made it this far -- that we are strong. In our deepest sadness about the loss of a love, we may find a more meaningful relationship with something more powerful -- with ourselves, for example, or a “Higher Power.” Or, as in my case, the strength can come from the support when it is most needed, sometimes from so many people, many of whom we have never met.
What I have learned is that the winters of our lives may tempt us to curse the cold and darkness. Similarly, the conflicts in our lives may tempt us to struggle with them. One side may be very clear and obvious while the other is vague and hidden. When we are open, these extremes become equal teachers for us. As we think about the seasons and our feelings today, what opposites do we find? Whatever the answers (or, more importantly, the questions), perhaps today we can remember that we have an invincible summer at the deepest part of the winter in our lives.
My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…