Hannity Responds

¡Hola! Everybody...
As many who read me know, there’s no love lost between myself and what calls itself the right wing these days. Lush Rimbaugh, Glen "Crying Man" Beck, Sarah "Dumb Twat" Palin, O’Really, and the rest of the Faux News come mierdas (shit-eaters) and their Tea Baggers have all gotten their asses spanked here at [un]Common Sense. Today, one frequent target of my barbs, Sean "InSannity" Hannity, responds*

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-=[ Hannity Fights Back ]=-

I contend that the internal threat of liberalism may be even worse than the external threat of terrorism -- for the terrorists have no prayer against us unless the liberals pave their way.

-- Sean "[in]Sannity" Hannity in Conservative Victory

Since the people here at [un]Common Sense have seen fit to take a few swings at me over the years, I accepted their invitation to respond.

What I found most disturbing has been this blog’s attempt to imply that I’m a cocksucker. I should sue, but instead I’ll clear this up: I’m what’s known as a selective serial fellator, meaning I only suck the cocks of media alpha dogs. I say with pride that I suck Murdoch’s cock and gargle his sperm. There’s a huge difference between being a mere cocksucker and a selective serial fellator and calling me the former is just sloppy reporting and bad form.

This blog has also implied that listening to me is somehow an act of evil. This is ridiculous nonsense. While it is true that I am a compulsive liar, on and off the air, steal money from widows and orphans, and generally disdain for poor people as well as darker-hued humans, does it follow that these are evil traits?!!

::blank stare::

And yes, I do spend tons of money at S&M clubs (thanks Steele!); and, yes, I do go prowling for faggots with Bill O’Reilly, Rush, and then we all pile into Bill’s jeep, round up queers and waterboard them in back-alley dungeons, but calling me evil is quite an exaggeration, don’t you think? Nice try, Eddie, but nobody is buying your nonsense.

Seriously, imagine if some straight-laced, latently homosexual businessman, who has been successfully conditioned by years of my programming, happens to read your pathetically puerile attempts at humor. Think of the consequences! For one thing, he may stop accepting overly simplistic, nonsensical explanations of how this world works. He may even conclude I’m a fat, dishonest, bullying little twat willing to say anything in the service of my wealthy masters, and actually try to ice my craven ass. Furthermore, imagine if this information was spread around widely. Do you really want the chaos that would result from so many of the sheeple thinking without my help?

Finally, I’ll leave you with the following... the treatment I’ve received from this blog is a perfect example why we must resist the free dissemination of ideas and reject information sources that don’t have the good sense to be owned by multinational corporations.

Yours truly,

Sean

* not really