Many probably don’t know about the Sex Blog tradition. For the past several years, every Friday I have written a sex-themed blog. It started out with some philosophical posts on the harm of anti sex values and evolved from that. At one time, it become a sort of tradition that I would post photos contributed by some readers (often anonymously). Through the years, sexy suburban soccer moms to at least one soft porn actress have graced my Friday sex blog. Some posts are serious academic explorations, some are raunchy “how to” posts, and on occasion I’ve answered and offered sex advice. LOL!
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-=[ Polishing the Pearl ]=-
Or: How to Fuck a Woman with Your Hand
Yup... I called it fucking. Sometimes fucking is a good thing... ::grin::
First, if you ever want to get the basics on how to please a woman with your hand(s), you should go to the expert: your lover (or some such substitute). However, keep in mind that everybody is different. One thing I’ve learned (and this may sound counter-intuitive): if you want to work your magic on a woman, you should lose the notion of having the goal of bringing her to orgasm.
Let. It. Go.
If it happens -- WEPA! -- but it’s not the be-all and end-all of pussy petting. In fact, goal-oriented sex is misguided, generally speaking. Kitty cuddling should be about exploring, listening deeply, and feeling for feedback so that you can get her to do the happy dance, with or without the explosion.
First things first, guys and gals: You really need to get your hygiene shit together. Clip you nails! Long nails, jagged nails, dirty nails, and nails with sharp corners are weapons of mass destruction when around a clit or a vagina. Also, be considerate and make sure you have water or silicone based lube handy so there’s less pressure on her juices to provide all the slipping and sliding. Also, pick up or grab any toys she wants or enjoys.
I prefer reaching around my lover from behind with my dominant hand while spooning. I think it’s best to approach her from above so your hands touch her from the same angle hers do -- the sort of touch she is familiar with and used to. Resting your hand/ wrist on her mons (that’s the meaty “mound” lying above the pubis bone) is a good home base for finger exploration. Alternatively, you can do it standing up while riding the elevator...
All good sex play starts with taking time. You shouldn’t be pouncing on her genitals. I love to kiss, so I almost always start off by making out for a good while. Tickle her soft thighs, Circle her nipples, Run your fingers through her pubic hair (I really detest the recent trend of women shaving everything -- I need something to graze on!). Massage and tenderly caress the outer labia before diving in.
Once she’s purring, pay attention to her, look for subtle feedback, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. I often request that my lover show me how she touches herself. I observe her rhythm and try to take over. Let her fingers rest over yours and act as a guide until you get the knack. Once you feel you have the hang of it, go for it and be creative, you don’t have to be rigid and stick to her rules, but be attentive, watch and listen to her responses. When in doubt, start slowly and gently, gradually increasing the pressure and speed. Build the rhythm.
Women are more difficult to read, but ultimately so interesting. Moans and pushing are signs that you’re doing something right. Resist the urge to fake being a mind reader and ask questions. Ask her in a sexy way, “Does this feel good for you, baby?” “How does your pussy like that?” “Ooooh, that cunt is getting nice and wet, do you like this?” If you’re a considerate and mindful lover, you’ll be able to see physical signs of arousal. Her labia and clit are probably engorged, the skin getting darker and more flushed, her juices flowing.
Yes, the center of the vagina universe is the clitoris. Always make sure you make the clitoris happy, but don’t jump all over it unless you get an explicit invitation. The clit is sensitive, so approach it with the awareness of an adult, not the reckless abandonment of child with a toy. It’s not a buzzer. Oftentimes, pleasing the clit starts indirectly: touching it through the hood, playing with the inner labia, circling around it. Treat it like a peeled grape covered in nerves because basically that’s what it is.
I’m fresh, and I enjoy showing my lover how much I’m into her by stopping and smelling or tasting my fingers. This will make her feel more at ease, especially if she’s self-conscious about her scent. And if she’s not, this is your chance to let her know of your desire to eat her pussy in the future. There are many ways you can approach your lover with your hand: you can bend her over and caress her pussy from behind, you can palm her pussy, or use your fingers on clitoral area as you would when turning on a light switch. Every woman is different, and what works for one, can be a turn-off for another. The important thing is to be a considerate and attentive lover.
One final note dealing with the G-spot. If you’re getting into a really good groove and your sweetie is really turned on, you might want to explore the G-Spot. With your hand palm up, slide two fingers about two inches in and feel the ceiling of the vagina for a rough patch with a slight bulge under it. This is the G-spot. Massage this area with a “come here” gesture of the fingers. Stroke, don’t poke. Some women prefer more strenuous-type stroking. Some women can take it for a long time, and multiple orgasms are not uncommon. Therefore, if you’re giving your woman a good hand job, better put your heart in it and get ready for a workout. LOL! If she says she’s getting the sensation of urinating, it could mean that she’s going to ejaculate (releasing a liquid that is not pee). Encourage her to surrender to the feeling, and if you’re lucky, she might even orgasm and shoot all over you. LOL!